Only having tap water at a restaurant, rude?

[Chocolattay]

Me and DH have a young baby and are a bit skint.

I go out occasionally with my friends and will skimp them, only have a main and juice etc. Today we finally got round to a date night, baby present.

I am BFing and he was driving. I only wanted water (since baby fizzy drinks give me awful burps and didn’t fancy juice). DH doesn’t like soft drinks and was driving.

We just had a jug of tap water. The staff did keep asking “Are you sure you don’t want a drink?” and we felt a bit pressured so in the end ordered coffees (which we didn’t really want) with our dessert.

Genuine question as I’m curious as to people’s thoughts, is it shitty to just get tap water at a local family owned restaurant?

YANBU at all!
Some people order bottled water to make up for the fact that they aren’t ordering drinks when all they want is a water - that’s total bonkers and awful for the environment.
YA 100% DNBU. People who think otherwise are just snotty and wasteful.

Might be a bit different in a pub if you weren’t eating though tbf

If you ordered food there which you did then there's nothing wrong with having tap water.
I'll often order tap water (when I've had other food and/or drinks) no one's ever minded.
There's nothing wrong with this as long as you've spent money there on something else

It's pretty obvious you need water when breastfeeding so I'd just think they're ignorant. Several places I have been have kindly brought over tap water when I haven't even asked yet.

YANBU. Tap water or soda water from a syphon should both be free. I used to be a barman. Customers are not responsible for the profits of a businesss, that is down to the managers.

Drinks are where restaurants make the most profit and therefore by only having tap water you will not be their favourite customer.
Not in the UK, but restaurants in two other European countries, that I worked at, had no tap water policy. We would have to sell bottled water and could only make exceptions for kids or someone needing to take medicine or serve water jugs along with wine.

I mostly only drink tap water when out. Occasionally, I might get a Diet Coke, but otherwise it's tap water. Diet Coke isn't that great and I don't like wasting calories on drinks (I'm a chubster). I also don't like paying £2-3 for something that can be free, so I'm quite happy with water and ice. I wouldn't just go into a bar and ask for that, but when I'm paying for a meal, I don't see the problem.

I would never, ever have coffee or tea with or after a meal. I don’t drink alcohol. So what would I be expected to drink? I don’t drink at home either.

Why does drinking tap water raise eyebrows?

It's the only thing I ever drink, so if I was going for a meal it would t cross my mind to consider other peoples eyebrows - it's just my usual drink.

Tap water with a meal is totally fine. It's ridiculous for anyone to suggest otherwise. I hardly ever drink alcohol, and can't see the point in spending my hard-earned money on overpriced soft drink (and empty calories!). Personally, I go out for a meal - and a meal is what I buy. Not rude AT ALL to drink tap water!

I lived in Japan for a little while, and one of the things I loved was that in a restaurant or cafe you were always given glasses of tap water, without asking, and often, green tea.

Loved the fact that you never had to worry about what the tip was either - unless there was a cover charge for the table or appetizers (which you'd check before sitting down), service charges were ALWAYS 5%, added to the bill, and catering staff, taxi drivers, and other people in service industries were paid fairly for their work. Of course, post-pandemic, I don't know what the customs are any more...

In the UK, I suppose a lot of restaurant profits are made on the drinks, but I've often asked for "just tap water" to accompany a meal (you know, when we were all allowed out regularly...) and I'm not aware of any particularly highly raised eyebrows....

@WouldBeGood

Not weird at all if you’re eating there.

Very weird if you’ve gone out to drink Tao water

In that situation it's the right thing to order bottled water. I rarely drink alcohol these days and don't really enjoy any soft drinks, but would never just go to a pub/bar for tap water.

If you ordered tons of food that is fine. Water is the healthiest thing to drink with a meal anyway, and tap water is better than bottled in general in terms of the environment / health - plastic bottles aren't the greatest in general when you consider the potential for micro-plastics, endocrine disruptors and so on. Even bottled water in glass bottles isn't very environmental when you consider transportation impact. Anyone who would judge you for that is a judgey / snobby / unpleasant person and it says more about them than you!

Fuck what people or the restaurant think. I go to a restaurant to eat food not have drinks. If they want to make money price their food accordingly then.

I hate bottled eater, tastes vile. I dont have sugary drinks like soda or juice and I dont drink alcohol.

So im left to ask for tap water, which I actually like the taste of.

I'm not being a cheapskate, or can't afford to buy a drink its a matter of taste and what I would like to drink.

Noone should be judging anyone. Its not like you go in and just ask for tap water and dont order any food.

I mean ffs people are free to choose what they want drink and consume without any judgement.

Why/how should I know how any business makes their best profits???

Should I only choose clothes, shoes, supermarket foods where they make a better profit from me???

In that situation it's the right thing to order bottled water.
No, that’s she wrong thing to do. It’s environmentally damaging. No one drinks bottled water these days - unless they like the fizzy stuff.

From an environmental pov, it's monstrously wasteful to ask for something that was bottled and delivered in a lorry when they have pretty much the same thing piped into the building anyway - unless you particularly like the different flavour. I get that they have more of a mark-up, but at such environmental cost.

Bottled water might be fine if you're out and about and were unable/didn't think to fill up a reusable bottle at home and bring it - but why would you need to do that in a purpose-designed eating and drinking establishment with a full kitchen, glassware and crockery?

I agree that it's very cheeky to go into a pub and only ask for tap water - without a meal - but when you're already buying food, what's the issue?

I much prefer fizzy water, so I was resigned to paying for two glasses of vastly overpriced sparkling mineral water; until my favourite ever a waitress at one pub several years ago asked why I didn't just have soda water, which I'd never actually heard of So now, I always ask for a glass of soda water. I do feel a bit guilty, as most places don't charge for it - although I do always indicate my willingness to pay. I almost wish they'd charge 50p for it, which I'd be very happy to pay - but £2 or more for a tiny little (environmentally wasteful) bottle is just not happening!

It's your budget and also your taste. It's not like you aren't spending money at the place. They shouldn'tve pulled faces.

A friend of mine will sometimes just have water with a meal as her financial circumstances are very difficult. Nothing wrong with that- people without much money are still allowed to eat out.

I frequently have tap water instead of a carbonated drink in restaurants. It's better for the environment than bottled water, nothing to do with price.

I agree that you can't be getting into mind games - with them offering a full range of food and drinks, but expecting you to magically know what you 'should' order, so as not to be seen as a cheapskate trying to kill their business.

I wonder if, in the olden days, when female diners were given a different menu without prices on (in the expectation that the man was paying and she needn't worry her pretty little head about the cost), restaurant managers were also hovering around, on edge and trying to convince women to choose more expensive and profitable options - even though they weren't deemed good/important/significant enough to actually know what the price differentials were.

Supermarkets have loss-leaders, in the obvious hope that you'll go in initially for the cheap basics and then go on to fill up your trolley with lucrative luxuries - but although they can hope that, they've nobody to blame but themselves if people go in and buy a trolley-load of the cheap stuff that makes them no/very little/negative profit and nothing else.

It's a calculated risk of running a business, if you want to be sneaky with your pricing vs profits - and risks don't always pay off.

Different country thing maybe, everywhere we go has big glass bottles of refrigerated water and glasses. Wouldn't think twice really. I wouldn't get bottled water because of the extra plastic use and I don't like mineral water.

@daisypond

In that situation it's the right thing to order bottled water. No, that’s she wrong thing to do. It’s environmentally damaging. No one drinks bottled water these days - unless they like the fizzy stuff.

You think it's ok to take up a table and spend nothing? I don't.

I'm not being a cheapskate, or can't afford to buy a drink its a matter of taste and what I would like to drink.

For some reason, that makes me think about holidays - where the assumption is that everybody dreams of spending two weeks on a golden Caribbean beach or similar; and people like us who go to Norfolk or Devon must feel really put out not to 'be able' to have a 'proper' holiday.... and don't get me started on the passive aggressive 'staycation' used to minimise and belittle any holiday away from your home, but within the UK. Some people just cannot understand that, for a lot of us, our genuine preference is actually what they consider to be the booby prize!

On the few times I have done it, no on batted an eyelid.

I always have tap water with my meal in a restaurant, so do many others; it hasn't occurred to me there is anything unusual about it. I've never known waiters to hover around asking if I/we wanted something else to drink, what the heck? They sound quite rude and there was no reason for you to feel pressurised into buying coffee after your meal, that you didn't want.

Next time go somewhere else to eat.

Oh and anywhere that serves alcohol is required by law to provide free tap water to customers.

So how can it ever been deemed rude when in this country its part of our laws.