Page 9 | I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

TinLeaf · 2022-03-11T17:25:06+00:00

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead. I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

balalake · 11/03/2022 18:24

I wonder what would happen if you considered it to be harassment or some form of discrimination? And formally complained.

CapMarvel · 11/03/2022 18:25

@grapewines

Stop acting like they are shameful because they aren’t.

They're not shameful but neither do I think they are anyone else's business.

Unless OP is asking her collegues to shove a tampon up her fanny she is not making it anyone else's business.

I mean, how do such people cope in shops? Should we ensure that our personal purchases are discretely hidden underneath the hummous and pink lady apples?

tigger1001 · 11/03/2022 18:25

It would just be as obvious if the only time you take your bag into the toilet is when you are on your period.

The people complaining obviously haven't got enough work to do if they notice that.

billy1966 · 11/03/2022 18:25

Ask your manager to put her request in an email to you.

Very poor.

She should have told them to get a grip.

I think this needs clarification from HR after you have received her request in writing.

Clarabe1 · 11/03/2022 18:25

While I don’t think there is anything wrong with what you have done. I personally would take my bag. I don’t want everyone to know I am on my period the same way I wouldn’t get up and announce I was going for a shit. You are right though it’s not really a thing to be embarrassed about. There is no way if I was your manager i would have said anything.

LemonsLimes · 11/03/2022 18:26

Do you hide your toilet roll too?
Yes they must do. After all, what goes on loo roll is more disgusting than what goes on a sanitary towel

Nocutenamesleft · 11/03/2022 18:26

@Divebar2021

I work in a pretty male dominated industry and I can’t imagine any of my colleagues being phased by the sight of San pro. The problem is the continued secrecy around the whole issue largely perpetuated by women I imagine, has instilled in some people the idea it must never be mentioned. Imagine what it would be like if men had periods?

I agree

I worked in a very male dominated industry. I was the only women I knew in it for 20 years and even they wouldnt of cared. To be totally honest I don’t think they’d of even noticed! Ha.

mbosnz · 11/03/2022 18:26

It's bloody discreet 'advertising', carrying a wrapped san-pro product to the toilet. Someone would have to be looking really rather hard - isn't there something else they ought to be doing? Like, oooh, I dunno working?!

I don't care if people know I'm on my period or not. It's not something to be ashamed of. It just is. It's a bit like shitting. We all do it. So what?

SpaceshiptoMars · 11/03/2022 18:26

Why are these two men scrutinising her so determinedly as she walks to the loo that they can not only see she is holding something small, but work out what it is? Apparently repeatedly. Do they not have work to do?

Just another form of sexual harassment.

LovedayCL · 11/03/2022 18:26

@grapewines

Stop acting like they are shameful because they aren’t.

They're not shameful but neither do I think they are anyone else's business.

Well, quite. So they should mind their own business.

Babyvenusplant · 11/03/2022 18:26

Get a big bowl for your desk and fill it with different san pro products like a pick & mix

Dguu6u · 11/03/2022 18:27

Place a giant box of them on your desk in plain sight.

It’s just a pad ffs, periods are a natural phenomenon, you don’t need to hide anything. I hope those men aren’t in a relationship, their poor partners having to accommodate such sensitive men

Whywonttheyhelpme · 11/03/2022 18:27

I think you are both being ridiculous.

Anyone that takes offence at the sight of a sanitary product needs to get a grip.

Equally it is unnecessary to declare to your office why you are off to the loo. I like to keep my bodily functions to myself- and yes, all women have periods and shouldn’t feel ashamed etc etc. However, everyone has an arsehole but I bet you don’t feel that it is ok to share that with your colleagues

MayMorris · 11/03/2022 18:27

@Treacletoots

Get a mooncup and keep it on your desk. It's a handy little pen holder for the rest of the month

I’m trying to figure how you balance it on the tip but with a pen in the cup bit….never used one (too late now 🥳) but my understanding of how they work can’t reconcile with your otherwise brilliant suggestion….maybe a teeny flower vase instead

Gowithme · 11/03/2022 18:28

I bet the 15% who said YABU also think BFing should be done behind closed doors. God forbid anyone should see a bit of boob.

How can women move forward when 15% of women can't even move forward. If you want to hide sanitary pads up your sleeves because you want to pretend you don't have periods then that's fine, but don't tell others that they have to be 'discreet' to protect the poor innocent men folk who might faint at the thought of it. Who knew that some paper and plastic could be so upsetting.

I would email your boss and say you're confused as you're not sure exactly what aspect is making them uncomfortable so you wanted to check. Is it the fact that they then know you are on your period - in which case if you put it in your bag they will know that when you take your bag to the toilet you are on your period and the issue won't be resolved or is it that they can bear the sight of sanitary protection which is basically made of paper and plastic and so doesn't make sense as they seem fine with you carrying other paper and plastic goods.

oldandscunnered · 11/03/2022 18:28

This is pathetic. Whoever complained should have been shot down in flames. Women have periods, men just have to get over it. Do they not have any women in their life?

LovedayCL · 11/03/2022 18:28

@SpaceshiptoMars

Why are these two men scrutinising her so determinedly as she walks to the loo that they can not only see she is holding something small, but work out what it is? Apparently repeatedly. Do they not have work to do?

Just another form of sexual harassment.

Yep. In fact, it’s quite possible OP had the gall to make their ogling less pleasurable by inadvertently and inconveniently reminding them of her menstrual status. Women, know your place!

Gowithme · 11/03/2022 18:29

*can't bear

Harvestofthesun · 11/03/2022 18:29

I had something similar a few years ago. I kept a box of tampons in a cupboard inside the loo. The loos were communal and occasionally a visitor would ask to use (estate agent). My female boss asked me to remove them in case we had male visitors who might be offended!! She felt she needed to further make her point by saying they might be Muslim and take great offence. I know little about Islam so not sure what this had to do with it! WTAF!!

She prided herself on being a supremely intelligent being, I thought she was a bell end and told her so after I’d resigned.

VeryMuchFlaggingMinty · 11/03/2022 18:29

May I suggest accessorising the tampon flapper dress with one these?

I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

allupsidedown · 11/03/2022 18:29

I mean if it was a used sanitary towel then they maybe. Otherwise they are ridiculous and your manager should have told them that instead of talking to you.

winterchills · 11/03/2022 18:29

Wow I would be livid. I can't believe people have complained about that and I can't believe she has even called you in about that!!

lightisnotwhite · 11/03/2022 18:29

@JennyDBP

Nope - I wouldn't walk through an office carrying a sanitary towel to the loos. Yes everyone knows women have periods and we all wee and poo but I'm on the side of keeping it private. You're basically announcing you're off to change your sanitary towel, you wouldn't announce you were off to wipe your arse (would you?!) Be private about all toilet stuff!

People say they’re going for a wee all the time though. You wouldn’t be embarrassed if you heard someone that?

People blow their runny noses on tissues in full display no shame there.

Women have periods and need products to stop it being messier than it needs to be.It’s no worse than the other two examples.

I do think pooing is slightly different in that it can smell and make the toilet grim for others. If someone left blood or wee over the toilet I’d be pissed off too.

Molly3132 · 11/03/2022 18:29

This is about shaming women for being on their period and it's disgusting. I am losing my faith in my own sex reading this thread!

LovedayCL · 11/03/2022 18:30

@Whywonttheyhelpme

I think you are both being ridiculous.

Anyone that takes offence at the sight of a sanitary product needs to get a grip.

Equally it is unnecessary to declare to your office why you are off to the loo. I like to keep my bodily functions to myself- and yes, all women have periods and shouldn’t feel ashamed etc etc. However, everyone has an arsehole but I bet you don’t feel that it is ok to share that with your colleagues

I… don’t think she showed them her arsehole? It does seem arseholes are abundant though.