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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

999 replies

TinLeaf · 11/03/2022 17:25

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
OrianaBanana · 11/03/2022 18:30

@unname

I’m trying to picture a world where no subject was treated with discretion at work.

What if it was common for men to make this part of every day conversation? “Oh, you’ve got your period do you? My wife has hers right now, too! Etc, etc.”

OP is not obliging anyone to talk to her about her period. She hasn’t brought it up with anyone. In fact, it was the two men who had a conversation with her manager before OP talked to anyone about it. OP is literally just walking to the toilet.

In the same way as when I breastfed my daughter in a cafe, I wasn’t inviting anyone to come up and discuss my breasts with me.

Orangesox · 11/03/2022 18:31

Isn’t that marvellous that you work for such a progressive organisation that they’ll be ensuring there is an adequate supply of top quality sanitary products in the ladies loos so that you don’t have to offend the menfolk whilst walking through the office wantonly wafting your sanitary towels in such an obvious and indiscreet manner? ConfusedHmm

What a load of old tripe about carrying your handbag or being discreet! I thought views like that went out with pearl clutching, women being given the vote, and us being allowed to have our own bank accounts - the horror! Whether you carry a bag, or carry the product, everyone’s going to know what’s going on… or are they suggesting you must be accompanied to the toilet by your discreet super spy handbag at all times so it’s not obvious and your male colleagues aren’t overcome with a fit of the vapours?

Nocutenamesleft · 11/03/2022 18:31

@unname

I’m trying to picture a world where no subject was treated with discretion at work.

What if it was common for men to make this part of every day conversation? “Oh, you’ve got your period do you? My wife has hers right now, too! Etc, etc.”

She’s not talking about it though with her male counterparts?!?
Els1e · 11/03/2022 18:31

Please tell us you had the wings out and were making swooping gestures and noises as you went through the office. 😁

deedeemegadoodoo · 11/03/2022 18:31

Ridiculous! In my work toilets, we have a basket full of free sanitary products. Would you boss go for that instead?

Egghead68 · 11/03/2022 18:31

Would you walk across the office carrying a LOI roll?

allupsidedown · 11/03/2022 18:32

We had a manager who asked during a refurbishment if a bin for sanitary products was actually necessary. Could we not just wait and change them at home? Hmm

Egghead68 · 11/03/2022 18:32

Loo roll

ofwarren · 11/03/2022 18:32

@Egghead68

Would you walk across the office carrying a LOI roll?

Yes, if there was none left in the toilets and I needed some

mbosnz · 11/03/2022 18:32

Um, did I miss where the OP bellowed to the room 'I'm off to the loo to change me pad now! I'm on my rag, yeah?!' She also hasn't squatted in the middle of the office (or indeed in the loo block) and changed her pad there. . .

Hippolyte · 11/03/2022 18:33

Usually I'd use a little bag, that's just me. Sometimes if I'm caught short I may not have said bag, just an odd pad in my handbag. In the summertime I might not have a sleeve to shove it up while I walk to the loo. Why on earth is this a problem, I have never heard anything so utterly ridiculous in my life. 50% of the population experience this and it's about time some men grew tf up quite honestly! Manager should be ashamed and also find something a bit more productive to do!!

ForTheHorde · 11/03/2022 18:33

'declare', 'announce', 'advertise', 'involve the whole office'. FFS. What is wrong with some posters - so desperate to tell OP she's wrong they go out of their way to use ridiculous, hyperbolic language that's not going to be even remotely close to what happened.

Unless OP is swinging her san pro above her head, then there's not 'advertising' her period by carrying something in her hand. It's no larger than carrying a phone - and I bet a fair few toilet visitors take that with them.

Loginmystery · 11/03/2022 18:34

Do you walk back with the used one or no? If no then I see no transgression

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 11/03/2022 18:34

I'm sorry I disagree completely - its not professional at work at all, I don't want to see workers of ANY sex carrying personal hygiene items across the office in full view of everyone. Its the office you're not at home.
There is absolutely NO reason that you can't put it in your bag or a washbag, none whatsoever.
I really do think people have forgotten how to behave in public.
Would you peel your top off in the office and change it for another one in view of everyone ff's.

saraclara · 11/03/2022 18:35

Obviously it's a ridiculous complaint, but it's made me realise that in 40 year working life, I've never ever seen a colleague carrying a sanitary towel in her hand. And virtually all my colleagues were female.

Does anyone here, other than the OP, do so at work?

Hippolyte · 11/03/2022 18:36

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I'm sorry I disagree completely - its not professional at work at all, I don't want to see workers of ANY sex carrying personal hygiene items across the office in full view of everyone. Its the office you're not at home. There is absolutely NO reason that you can't put it in your bag or a washbag, none whatsoever. I really do think people have forgotten how to behave in public. Would you peel your top off in the office and change it for another one in view of everyone ff's.
Hardly akin to stripping off is it?! Seriously get over yourself!!
Luredbyapomegranate · 11/03/2022 18:36

I know you are shocked but this is absolutely hilarious.

I suggest you order the biggest bags marked private that you can from Amazon. I would also stick up some period poverty awareness leaflets in the men’s loos. Maybe use a moon cup as a paper clip holder.

I am not prudish but I personally favour discretion for bodily functions, just because I don’t want to think about other peoples, so I’d be discrete-ish whether I was carrying a loo roll or a tampon, but that’s my choice - there is no reason you should have to if you don’t want to.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 11/03/2022 18:36

@Viviennemary

I think your manager is right. I also hate them being on display in people's bathrooms. Same as a man leaving a pack of durex on his desk. Just no.
You are the absolute queen of internalised misogyny.
Userengage · 11/03/2022 18:37

Yeah, discretion all the way, be like a lady, don’t let them see that you may not be sexually available right now because you’re on, the poor guys.

Hide your san pro “up your sleeve “ (FFS) so that they have to take bets on what you’re going to the loo for. Is it a poo, piss or period?

And for those taking your handbag to the loo, that is not in any way discreet. You might as well cheerlead your way through the office, twirling your tampon. Every bugger knows, believe me.

FlyingGeeseAgain · 11/03/2022 18:37

@SparkleSpangle

While I think it is ridiculous anyone complained. There is something to be said for being discreet. Obviously you are going to have a period but do you need to let everyone know. Just put it in your pocket.
This
reesewithoutaspoon · 11/03/2022 18:37

@Molly3132

This is about shaming women for being on their period and it's disgusting. I am losing my faith in my own sex reading this thread!
Yep, it absolutely is. Why are periods disgusting and dirty and women should pretend they don't happen. God forbid you are discovered to be on your period. The absolute horror. Its blood. It's the exact same blood that comes out of a nose if it bleeds or your finger if you cut it. Why is it dirty and disgusting, it is the same misogyny that says breast milk is disgusting, yet cow breast milk is absolutely fine and not disgusting.
EmoIsntDead · 11/03/2022 18:37

@DixonD

I actually think YABU.

Periods are gross (I know, I have them), and personal, so I think that sort of thing should be kept private. I wouldn’t want to be aware when others are on their period in the office either. Nobody needs or wants to know this.

Sorry OP, I’ve had periods for nearly 30 years but I wouldn’t appreciate this in the office. I hide mine up my sleeve 😁

Pssst... your internalised misogyny is showing 🤫
ofwarren · 11/03/2022 18:37

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I'm sorry I disagree completely - its not professional at work at all, I don't want to see workers of ANY sex carrying personal hygiene items across the office in full view of everyone. Its the office you're not at home. There is absolutely NO reason that you can't put it in your bag or a washbag, none whatsoever. I really do think people have forgotten how to behave in public. Would you peel your top off in the office and change it for another one in view of everyone ff's.

So you think a toothbrush, deodorant, soap, tissues etc should be hidden?
How can you compare carrying a small sanitary towel in your hand to someone getting their tits out at work??

SleepingStandingUp · 11/03/2022 18:37

I'm assuming not a used one to take home and wash...

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 11/03/2022 18:37

Perhaps transport them like this?

I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!
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