I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

Ok so from now on you want a big plain white tote bag with SANITARY TOWELS written in big letters and sing the Body Form song as you dance about (or put on your skates!),

I always used to just pop it in my hand. People always wonder when you have a bag with you. I only took a bag if a bunch of men were in the office, right by where I remove a pad. Nowadays I have to use incontinence pads and they are mega huge so I pop them in my waist band, but if you were obsessed with watching me, I am sure I could be picked up on cctv taking one out of my bag!!!

When working in my 20s and 30s, I would have been more discreet for my personal dignity, not the men’s. That was a fair few years ago and male banter was far more widely accepted.

Personally I think you need this nifty storage facility.

I find that my take on this is much the same as breastfeeding. If people don't like seeing, how's about just not bloody looking?

We're a family of three women, one male, and there is san-pro clearly visible and available in both toilets. If some delicate little flower takes a pet because of that - that's their problem. It was very handy, apparently, when DD was having a party and a friend got caught unexpectedly short. . .

Nocutenamesleft,
no, i would not want anyone's daughter to be
shamed for something she has no control over;
but how does that follow from what i have written ?

I'm now at the stage in life where this would make me up the ante and keep a box of sanpro visible on my desk and literally make a big deal out of taking one to the toilet with me every single time then if another complaint is raised to ask for it in writing then immediately raise a grievance for discrimination based on my sex as per EA2010.

However I'm a cantankerous middle age woman who has zero fucks left to give so that's probably not helpful.

Shaming women for a biological function that we cannot control belongs in the last century.

I'm very surprised that I have never seen a woman carrying a sanitary towel. It appears everyone, apart from a few pearl clutchers, does. Must be more observant.

Be careful though it could reduce the strength of arguments for single sex toilets as women are very comfortable with men knowing they are having a period.

Suggest they supply pads in the loos then. If they're so bothered they can pay for the sexist solution.

Imagine having the audacity to speak to a manager about your colleague taking hygiene products to the loo.

though its many a long day since I had periods I thought most came wrapped these days anyway? have people nothing better to do ie work than stare at their colleagues

So hang on. Op shouldn't have one remotely visible in her hand but also they shouldn't be on.display in a bathroom either.

If they can't be in the bathroom.where should they be

Now did you warn them they may be triggered before you got the pad out of your bag? Maybe their Mammy never sat them down and told them to cop the hell on! honestly - what on earth is wrong with seeing a pad/tampon!

Where are all these tampon/towel flashing women then, advertising their period? Who amongst you can say you do exactly that?
Women take bags into the loo's for any number of reasons, brush hair, touch up make-up, have a quick blast of Impulse or even just to keep their bag safe, whatever. I mean, we all know what goes on with our bodies but is it really progress to say that we shouldn't be discreet about it. Grim.

oh fgs why cant I do links!

@countbackfromten

I am horrified by how many women posting on this are misogynistic.

There is nothing wrong with periods.
They are a natural process.
Stop acting like they are shameful because they aren’t.

Read Period by Emma Barnett - we have to tackle period shame because it leads to harmful behaviours, shames girls into thinking it is disgusting and wrong and means issues like period poverty don’t get the attention they deserve.

I just don't want to advertise the fact I'm on

I would definitely asks for this in writing and their suggested actions. No woman or girl should be shamed for having a period. What is possibly offensive about seeing a sanitary towel - insanity! All this shit about being ‘classy’ and ‘discrete’ - if you want to go mousing around saying sorry for being female go right ahead but don’t impose your internalised misogyny on others.

@Viviennemary

I think your manager is right. I also hate them being on display in people's bathrooms. Same as a man leaving a pack of durex on his desk. Just no.

Do you hide your toilet roll too?

Wtf? Wear Tampons as earrings please next time you're in the office!

Agree you should ask for the complaint in writing. Utterly ridiculous. Do these men have partners?!

I don't think there's anything wrong with periods, or shitting or pissing, I just don't want to know what everyone is doing in the loo!

Stop acting like they are shameful because they aren’t.

They're not shameful but neither do I think they are anyone else's business.

@Viviennemary

I think your manager is right. I also hate them being on display in people's bathrooms. Same as a man leaving a pack of durex on his desk. Just no.

FFS it's not even remotely the same.

@Floomobal

I think it’s a bit unnecessary to walk across an office holding sanitary towels. Likewise if someone didn’t like toilet paper, and walked across the office with a pack of wet wipes, allowing everyone to know they were going for a poo. Unnecessary. Yes, it’s natural bodily functions but that doesn’t mean the entire office needs to be involved

How is the whole office ‘involved’ with OP walking to the loos with a small sanitary towel in her hand? Genuine question. Why are these two men scrutinising her so determinedly as she walks to the loo that they can not only see she is holding something small, but work out what it is? Apparently repeatedly. Do they not have work to do?

If it was another woman who complained, I might consider it…but men 🤦‍♀️
I would turn the request back to her, and point out if the company provided sanitary products like they do loo roll in the toilets already, or provided women with small lockers to leave their products in, you’d not have to carry the blasted things around. And no one would be “embarrassed”
Ask why women are being discriminated against by not providing basic sanitary items like they do loo roll? It’s no different in terms of being an essential item. We’d not dream to ask people to bring their own loo roll in
I am glad to hear all you women with guts being open, I spent most of my working life shoving items up my sleeve…it’s a pain to take a handbag in when there is no where to put it by the sinks in most works loos

@Viviennemary

I think your manager is right. I also hate them being on display in people's bathrooms. Same as a man leaving a pack of durex on his desk. Just no.

I never used to have pads on display. But since dd is a teen I put packets of pads on display in the main bathroom and downstairs cloakroom for dd’s friends to use so they don’t have to ask. Dd has started her period a couple of time when at friend’s houses and has liked being able to get pads without asking her friends so I am reciprocating in kind.

I’ve been working in an office environment for many years and not once have I seen anyone carrying sanitary products to the loo. There is such a thing as being discreet.

I’m trying to picture a world where no subject was treated with discretion at work.

What if it was common for men to make this part of every day conversation? “Oh, you’ve got your period do you? My wife has hers right now, too! Etc, etc.”