I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

but why not have some dignity and self respect and respect for others, and not impose the details on colleagues.

Details?! If they're shocked a woman needs to change tampon / towel during the working day they need to have a biology lesson and grow up.

They should be no more offended by the 'detail' shared by someone carrying a tampon / towel than they would someone just going into the loo, where they will presumably use the toilet. Do you think that shows a lack of dignity, self respect and respect for others? Is that imposing the details on colleagues? No. It's needing a wee so going for one.

Periods should be no more shocking or offensive!

Is it really any different to seeing the cleaning staff take new toilet rolls into the loos? I nearly always take my handbag anyway as have elemental fear of shiny nose and like to powder it etc but have on occasion had item in my hand and partially concealed by it.. I really can't imagine how that could be offensive to anyone with any maturity or sense. Any HR or employment lawyer worth their salt would make mincemeat of this complaint.

[quote Susu49]@youvegottenminuteslynn see my update[/quote]
Oh, noted

[quote LimeSupper]@youvegottenminuteslynn I’m sorry you can’t value other people’s opinions [/quote]
No, I don't 'value' sexist opinions. Very happy not to thanks.

Calling someone’s opinion sexist because it isn’t the same as your own

@LimeSupper

Calling someone’s opinion sexist because it isn’t the same as your own

No, I'm calling it sexist because it's sexist.

People who have said they wouldn't personally carry it I have no issue with and think their personal choice is as valid as anyone else's.

People who have said they think it shows a lack of dignity, respect, etiquette and is an example of poor standards I absolutely don't "value" the opinion of.

I value opinions that are different to mine, unless they are harmful to people e.g. sexist.

@EvelynBeatrice

Is it really any different to seeing the cleaning staff take new toilet rolls into the loos? I nearly always take my handbag anyway as have elemental fear of shiny nose and like to powder it etc but have on occasion had item in my hand and partially concealed by it.. I really can't imagine how that could be offensive to anyone with any maturity or sense. Any HR or employment lawyer worth their salt would make mincemeat of this complaint.

Or the companies who come in and exchange the sanpro bins.

Or the companies who come in and exchange the sanpro bins.

I think some posters would like them to do this under the cover of night while the villagers chant "shame" at them by the sounds of it.

@MistySkiesAfterRain

Why not pop it inside a spare pitta bread?

Proper LOL

@Divebar2021

I work in a pretty male dominated industry and I can’t imagine any of my colleagues being phased by the sight of San pro. The problem is the continued secrecy around the whole issue largely perpetuated by women I imagine, has instilled in some people the idea it must never be mentioned. Imagine what it would be like if men had periods?

What nonsense. There's no secrecy around menstruation which can be blamed on women. It is an issue that only affects women and we must decide whether to publicise it or not. Which is why I dislike the idea of the OP's male colleagues complaining about her. On the other hand, I dislike the coarseness that some on here are displaying. I suppose it is up to every woman to decide for herself what is appropriate while at the same time letting men know that their thoughts on the matter are of no account.

it or notn issue that only affects women

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Or the companies who come in and exchange the sanpro bins.

I think some posters would like them to do this under the cover of night while the villagers chant "shame" at them by the sounds of it.

I like to keep a bell at my desk for this purpose GOT got nothin on me

Haven't RTFT (I need to go to bed!) but for those that prefer to be discreet and put their San pro in a bag/purse/pocket etc, how is it embarrassing what someone else does with theirs. I generally use a menstrual cup so no need to take anything to the loo. I work in a (non office) environment , most days with only male colleagues. I used to put sanpro in a small zip up purse but I still felt self conscious as I thought it was obvious why I was taking a purse when normally I wouldn't take anything. However, in reality I'd be surprised if anyone even noticed. We are all coming and going from the workspace throughout the day and most people are too busy working to notice what other people are carrying when they leave or enter the room unless it's chocolates or cakes

I certainly wouldn't have an issue if someone was carrying Sanpro and I can't imagine why anyone else would be remotely bothered by knowing when someone's period was...?

@Thewindwhispers

To me, a clean sanitary towel is the same as clean loo roll: unremarkable and boring.

To my Irish relatives and also completely seperate Irish friends, sight of a sanitary towel is shocking and offensive and somehow similar to displaying condom packets and all bathrooms should keep sanitary items hidden in closed drawers or in baskets with lids. I don’t really get it but different families/cultures seem to see them very differently! 🤣🤷‍♀️

Talk about a sweeping generalisation of one nationality!!

Jesus. Haven't rtft but honestly didn't think anyone thought like this now. Did a whole presentation on the cost of sanitary products for my students(teenage boys with various special needs) for international women's day the other day. Some of you may be shocked to hear that none of them swooned and needed the smelling salts. In fact they all looked bored and said they already knew it all. They restore my faith in humanity. If I ever need to take a sanitary pad out of my bag in front of them or take painkillers and they ask me why I just tell them and don't hide it, why should I its nothing to be ashamed of. OP I hope you complain.

Coarseness?

I certainly wouldn't have an issue if someone was carrying Sanpro and I can't imagine why anyone else would be remotely bothered by knowing when someone's period was...?

Absolutely this!

It’s not sexist to say that people behave differently in offices these days and have lower standards of etiquette. That includes, as already said, applying makeup, eating at desks, dressing informally, all sort of things including carry sanitary products, medication or incontinence pads across the office. Some people think this is a good move and we should all be able to carry these things without feeling embarrassed - great. Others would rather not - also great. There’s nothing sexist about that. I’m not shaming women who do, I’m talking about the difference they see in front of my eyes and sharing my opinion which was just simply that I couldn’t myself.

My workplace has free sanitary products in the female toilets. It pops up on emails every so often as a reminder and none of the men bat an eyelid!!

@LimeSupper

It’s not sexist to say that people behave differently in offices these days and have lower standards of etiquette. That includes, as already said, applying makeup, eating at desks, dressing informally, all sort of things including carry sanitary products, medication or incontinence pads across the office. Some people think this is a good move and we should all be able to carry these things without feeling embarrassed - great. Others would rather not - also great. There’s nothing sexist about that. I’m not shaming women who do, I’m talking about the difference they see in front of my eyes and sharing my opinion which was just simply that I couldn’t myself.

No, your point wasn't "just" that you wouldn't do it yourself.

You repeatedly described carrying sanpro as something that is below a "standard" that is acceptable to you. Something that is an example poor etiquette.

I can only think that you're explaining yourself very poorly if you don't think that's what your posts say.

Absolutely unbelievable in this day and age.

I’ve only repeatedly replied because your and another poster repeatedly berated me for saying my original point 😂 oh I give up, I’ve shared my opinion.

Ridiculous. I'm sorry that happened to you. Tell her to watch the new TV advert which addresses this very problem for girls, and tell her to get over herself!
We are women - we bleed so that we can have babies, perhaps remind those stupid people (I suspect men) that they wouldn't have children if we didn't have periods!
This one

I would do as she says and make sure you take your bag with you, but also carry a mooncup next time. (Clean/ used whatever you like) Then see if they still complain about the sanitary towels. 😀

Well my office provides free sanpro for all so wouldn't need to carry it.

I think if you're ok doing it then that's up to you but I've never seen anyone do this is an office before and would think it weird if you came over to my desk holding it whilst chatting to me. But maybe that's my own hang up.