I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

It’s not professional- bit like going to the bathroom to freshen up at work holding your toothbrush.

Again another weird comparison. Brushing your teeth in the morning and at night are sufficient, unlike sanpro which needs to be changed every few hours 🙄

I think your manager was wrong to discuss this with you and the others were ridiculous to report.

For me personally, I would feel undignified walking through a workplace with something I would consider private.
Same as I wouldn’t take medication at work in view of people. As it’s just personal.
That’s just my view though and I don’t care what others do.

YANBU, and how sad another woman would shame you like that. I’d carry a box next time

I ran this scenario past my husband, more in shock than anything. He was like, is the poster a pain in the arse? Otherwise I can't see any reason that grown men would act like literal cunts. Actually complaining about having seen a wrapped sanitary towel is a bit weird.

How is your relationship with these colleagues? Have there been other incidents where they've done stuff like this?

I might be in a minority but I don’t get why you would want to advertise to everyone who cares that you are in your period.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Equally, why advertise? There is nothing wrong with being discreet and keeping things private.

Being discreet does not mean you’re ashamed. I guess in an age of social media where nothing is private, I can see why it’s an insult to be asked to be discreet.

[quote LimeSupper]@youvegottenminuteslynn hmm reading your post, I feel like you think that by saying people have lower standards in the office these day, Im saying they’re less good people / lower status people on some way?! Im just saying some people have more self-regulatory behaviour tendencies in a workplace than others - it’s really not a judgement call. It’s a difference of opinion. Perhaps that’s not worded right but I certainly couldn’t care less what others carry around I was just sharing my own views too.[/quote]
Yes, you saying that people aren't being self regulatory absolutely implies a value judgement that the behaviour being discussed requires regulation. Perhaps you worded it poorly but that's exactly how it sounded.

@Why2why

I might be in a minority but I don’t get why you would want to advertise to everyone who cares that you are in your period.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Equally, why advertise? There is nothing wrong with being discreet and keeping things private.

Being discreet does not mean you’re ashamed. I guess in an age of social media where nothing is private, I can see why it’s an insult to be asked to be discreet.

How is holding it in your hand advertising it? She wasn't waving it about, just had it in her hand and walked to the toilet.

@Why2why

I might be in a minority but I don’t get why you would want to advertise to everyone who cares that you are in your period.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Equally, why advertise? There is nothing wrong with being discreet and keeping things private.

Being discreet does not mean you’re ashamed. I guess in an age of social media where nothing is private, I can see why it’s an insult to be asked to be discreet.

She didn't want to "advertise" it.

She just wanted to change her tampon / towel in the loo so carried a tampon / towel with her.

Would you say that walking to the loo is "advertising" that you are going to wee? Of course not. It's just going to the toilet.

Yes it's very bizarre for anyone to have complained. People do like to complain about pretty much everything though...I think it just all reads a bit like a thread someone wants to go viral so they can write an article about periods in the weekend papers for the umpteenth time.

PMSL

Sorry but I think YABU. Why do you want to announce to the office you're on your period? Seems bizarre to me

I might be in a minority but I don’t get why you would want to advertise to everyone who cares that you are in your period.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Equally, why advertise?

How did carrying something in your hand translate into 'advertise' in your head?

Also applies to 'announce'

@TopSecret99

Sorry but I think YABU. Why do you want to announce to the office you're on your period? Seems bizarre to me

Did she "announce it"? No!!

She didn't stand on her chair, shout out her plan to use a tampon / towel and expect applause.

She just went to the loo and was carrying a tampon / towel she needed.

Anyone who thinks that is "announcing it" is either being absolutely ridiculous or expressing themselves very, very poorly when it comes to vocabulary.

Are you "announcing" you're going to wee when you go into the toilet at work? No! You're just going for a wee!

Actually, there's something to be said for keeping tampons and pads in a pouch to take with you...You wouldn't have to worry about others being embarrassed if you left it on your desk and you could easily take it into meetings in case you needed to dash out

@youvegottenminuteslynn I didn’t say people can’t follow certain rules of etiquette themselves though, I mean that some people don’t want to, don’t see the need to, don’t think it’s important or actively want to behave more freely in the office. I don’t agree and am more reserved with my personal matters.

@Cherryblossoms85

Yes it's very bizarre for anyone to have complained. People do like to complain about pretty much everything though...I think it just all reads a bit like a thread someone wants to go viral so they can write an article about periods in the weekend papers for the umpteenth time.

This thread will be in the Daily Mail, I can guarantee it.

@alexdgr8

i think in an office ie workplace environment, it is best to be discreet. and it is not so difficult. handbag/pocket/up sleeve of cardigan/ envelope. going to the loo is nothing to be ashamed of either, for any use, but why not have some dignity and self respect and respect for others, and not impose the details on colleagues. i think thing have swung too far. maybe common sense and common decency will prevail eventually.

An envelope 😂😂😂

Why not pop it inside a spare pitta bread? 😂😂😂

@Susu49

Actually, there's something to be said for keeping tampons and pads in a pouch to take with you...You wouldn't have to worry about others being embarrassed if you left it on your desk and you could easily take it into meetings in case you needed to dash out

You "wouldn't have to worry about other people being in embarrassed" if those other people grew up, stopped paying enough attention to someone's hands to notice they're carrying something small to the loo and got on with their work rather than those other people displaying incredible sexism in expecting women to put someone else's outdated perception of periods being shameful above their need to just change a tampon / towel during work hours.

Let’s face it, we’re all announcing our period now that it is impossible to buy unfragranced towels.

[quote LimeSupper]@youvegottenminuteslynn I didn’t say people can’t follow certain rules of etiquette themselves though, I mean that some people don’t want to, don’t see the need to, don’t think it’s important or actively want to behave more freely in the office. I don’t agree and am more reserved with my personal matters.[/quote]
Again, you're saying it's poor etiquette to carry a tampon / towel to the loo. So still a value judgment. So much shame around periods is depressing. I'm sorry you feel that way.

@Susu49

Actually, there's something to be said for keeping tampons and pads in a pouch to take with you...You wouldn't have to worry about others being embarrassed if you left it on your desk and you could easily take it into meetings in case you needed to dash out

Pictures didn't upload so here are the links:

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/834667146/jam-rags-tampon-bag-period-pouch?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tampon+handbag&ref=sr_gallery-4-14&organic_search_click=1

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/834665570/bag-of-bullets-tampon-bag-period-pouch?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tampon+handbag&ref=sr_gallery-4-23&organic_search_click=1

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1099260151/super-discreet-period-tampon-bag-period?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tampon+handbag&ref=sr_gallery-3-8&organic_search_click=1

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/848569025/minge-management-kit-tampon-bag-period?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tampon+handbag&ref=sr_gallery-3-14&organic_search_click=1

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1155945055/fanny-hammocks-period-pouch-menstrual?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tampon+handbag&ref=sr_gallery-3-27&organic_search_click=1&frs=1

@youvegottenminuteslynn I’m sorry you can’t value other people’s opinions

For some reason this makes me angry - what is wrong with people? I would honestly be tempted to get a bag that says in big letters "sanitary towels" on it, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to carry your ST's on the way to the toilet. How ridiculous

@youvegottenminuteslynn see my update