I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

I just meant that I think it’s clear that standards of etiquette in the office are lower now.

And my question is whether carrying sanpro is a part of that

I don't really get why it's so hard to put my personal items in a bag. I also don't walk about with make-up or toothpaste or toothbrushes or spare tights or spare pants of there's been a mishap. I put them in a little bag because I don't really need everyone knowing what my business is.bi mean if she wants to let it all hang out, cool but I somewhat struggle to believe it's a real post. Seems more like a PR exercise.

@fastingworks I agree! I was on antibiotics this week, not embarrassing but private. I wouldn’t have walked through the office with them, I just kept them in my handbag and discreetly took one when needed.

A PR exercise to promote what? Fannies?

@Cherryblossoms85

I don't really get why it's so hard to put my personal items in a bag. I also don't walk about with make-up or toothpaste or toothbrushes or spare tights or spare pants of there's been a mishap. I put them in a little bag because I don't really need everyone knowing what my business is.bi mean if she wants to let it all hang out, cool but I somewhat struggle to believe it's a real post. Seems more like a PR exercise.

Nobody is saying it's "so hard" to put a tampon in a bag, they're saying it's completely unnecessary. Because it is.

@TheKeatingFive I said including carrying sanitary products through the office??

I wouldn’t have walked through the office with them

But why would you have needed to?

This thread has reminded me that growing up when we bought sanitary towels, the local shop would always put them in a brown paper bag. I remember feeling very embarrassed when buying pads as a teenager.

Nowadays I feel relief that I can walk into my local shop and pick up a packet of biscuits and a pack of sanitary towels and walk back to my car holding them in my hands, without the shop assistant offering me a bag anymore than she would offer me a bag if I bought two apples.

If it had always been like it is now, this thread would never exist.

I think if be tempted to counter and complain that you're feeling unduly scrutinised by the male gaze, porentially akin to sex discrimination or harrassment- a sanitary towel in a wrapper is surely not much bigger than a lightly closed fist, how closely are they watching you?!

At the least I would probably email to thank your manager for raising the concern and requesting further information back around exactly what the complaints that have been raised are.

I said including carrying sanitary products through the office??

Okay, so those who do that have lower standards. Clear.

What's not batshit about this thread is that 85% think YANBU and only 15% think YABU

@TheKeatingFive why would I have needed to walk with my antibiotics?? To go to the kitchen and take them with water for example? I also have to take them at a certain time of day and I move around the building in my job at different parts of the day. I just had them in my bag and kept a bottle of water on me.

I've got a terrible urge now to find a random office on Monday and go in juggling a sanpro, a condom and a packet of Imodium just to see who has a fit of the vapours (would have to be a random office as my colleagues would immediately take it as an open invite to share stories about the last time they had the shits).

@youvegottenminuteslynn

So would you openly carry an incontinence pad to the bathroom? They are a necessary function for many that happens to take place during the work day because, you know, biology.
Or is pee embarrassing?

You can tell it's Friday night on Mumsnet

To go to the kitchen and take them with water for example? I also have to take them at a certain time of day and I move around the building in my job at different parts of the day. I just had them in my bag and kept a bottle of water on me.

If it's somewhere you're going that you'd normally take your bag, then yes that makes sense to keep them in it.

@EveryCloudIsGrey

You can tell it's Friday night on Mumsnet

Honestly more fun than the pub

@Cherryblossoms85

I don't really get why it's so hard to put my personal items in a bag. I also don't walk about with make-up or toothpaste or toothbrushes or spare tights or spare pants of there's been a mishap. I put them in a little bag because I don't really need everyone knowing what my business is.bi mean if she wants to let it all hang out, cool but I somewhat struggle to believe it's a real post. Seems more like a PR exercise.

That's great that you put things in a little bag, but would you complain to the manager about someone who didn't? That's what the AIBU is about

Absolutely ridiculous. My office didn't even have a sanitary bin. I work for the ultimate misogynist, I didn't quite know what to do on my first day when I needed to throw my tampon away so I wrapped it in tissue and put it in the open bin.

Only to find out later the bosses wife cleans the toilets and the bins. The boss who is most definitely minted and clearly hasn't got much respect for his wife as he'd rather save on paying for a sanitary bin service and make her clean up an open bin, His wife does not look happy about the arrangements.

I thank my lucky stars everyday I'm wfh now.
I think when it comes to these kind of things we are a few decades behind where we should be on these things in some work places!

[quote LimeSupper]@TheKeatingFive why would I have needed to walk with my antibiotics?? To go to the kitchen and take them with water for example? I also have to take them at a certain time of day and I move around the building in my job at different parts of the day. I just had them in my bag and kept a bottle of water on me.[/quote]
And it's fine you'd do that! What isn't fine is thinking someone has lower standards or is doing anything vaguely wrong if they want to just carry their antibiotics to the kitchen to take them. Nobody should have any more issue with that than they would with a tampon / towel. As I said, if someone is paying that much attention to what someone else is carrying to the loo they need to reassess their priorities. And crack on with work.

I think you need to channel your inner Jen from IT Crowd when aunt Irma visits 🤣

Ah, just in time for 1st April, to wear a ‘lil-let’ on each ear as a dangly earring.

Start with light flow & see if anyone notices.

Would you peel your top off in the office and change it for another one in view of everyone ff's

But OP isn't taking her tampon out and changing it in view of everyone

The comparison would be OP walking to the toilet holding a top that she intends on changing into, which is perfectly fine?

@youvegottenminuteslynn hmm reading your post, I feel like you think that by saying people have lower standards in the office these day, Im saying they’re less good people / lower status people on some way?! Im just saying some people have more self-regulatory behaviour tendencies in a workplace than others - it’s really not a judgement call. It’s a difference of opinion. Perhaps that’s not worded right but I certainly couldn’t care less what others carry around I was just sharing my own views too.