I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

[quote LimeSupper]@TheKeatingFive people may assume I probably have a period, but no they don’t know that for a fact. Not every woman does and certainly not every woman regularly. I’m happy for them to assume it probably happens but not know any details about it. My colleagues probably assume I wear knickers but wouldn’t know if I do for certain or what type because it’s not up for discussion/ carried through the office.[/quote]
Seriously, what are you talking about???

@TheKeatingFive

I’d give up now. No one on this thread is allowed to express a view other than total agreement with @TheKeatingFive**

I thought you were off?

If you want to actually counter my points do so.

What can I say - your posts are like the metaphorical car crash that you can’t look away from. Have you stopped for one second in your wild and aggressive posting to pause for breath and consider any of the very valid points being made by other posters? You’re taking over the thread attacking every poster individually who dares express an opinion. Just accept that some of us don’t agree with you, that’s life. You’re entitled to your views and we’re entitled to ours.

[quote LimeSupper]@Drivingishnthat is a quote from my very first post so it was clear from the of. I do think that standards have slipped, that’s my opinion. Yours is different, that’s ok for you to express too. I said in my first post that it’s fine for lots of people but I couldn’t myself.[/quote]
Yes, I perfectly understand you were giving your opinion, I was disagreeing and discussing the reasons why. Constantly re-stating that it's your opinion is both redundant (I wasn't accusing you of using someone else's opinion!) and misses the 'discussion' part of this being a discussion forum . If we were all to state our opinions and not much else this would be Facebook.

You’re taking over the thread attacking every poster individually who dares express an opinion.

As I have said quite a few times now, if you think I'm breaking guidelines report me.

Otherwise quit policing my posts.

If I was OP, I’d rollerskate through the office with several dogs while wearing spandex & singing ‘it’s my life’. Different sanpro, same message.

@TheKeatingFive I don’t think it’s that controversial to say workplace etiquette standards have dropped, is it? I mean, in a variety of ways. People dressing more informally, discussing more topics, eating at desks, all sorts of things. I said I couldn’t and wouldn’t do a number of things others in my office do. For many though, they think it’s better this way and are more comfortable being more relaxed in the office. It’s just a difference of opinion. It’s not about berating others, I personally couldn’t care less if a woman carries a tampon or plucks her eyebrows in the office to use an earlier example, but it’s not something I would do.

@GreenWheat

Personally I think it's rather akin to announcing you're just off for a poo. TMI for the office and discretion is better for all office toilet trips.

She's presumably carrying a sanitary towel which is wrapped in her hand? She isn't announcing that her pad is leaking and she's off to change it?

I’d give up now. No one on this thread is allowed to express a view other than total agreement with @TheKeatingFive otherwise they get laid into about what the actual equivalent examples are. Didn’t you know that toilet paper is the ONLY comparable example to sanitary products and you’re WRONG and will be told so if you make any other comparison
Well, the non-loo roll comparisons have included:

Condoms
Diarrhoea
Urinary incontinence
Breast pumping
Stomas
Changing your top
Farting
Diabetes
Coming to the office with wet hair
Bras
Prostates
Hairy balls
Deodorant
Toothbrushes
Syringes

None of which are equivalent, some of which are ableist, many of which are fucking insane, all of which make me wonder what collective understanding there is of what a period actually is…

@Sswhinesthebest

I think you should be more discreet personally. Condoms shouldn’t be embarrassing but I don’t want to see them being walked across the office either, or acne cream or anything a bit personal.

Why would anyone be carrying condoms or acne cream across an office?

@TheKeatingFive

You’re taking over the thread attacking every poster individually who dares express an opinion.

As I have said quite a few times now, if you think I'm breaking guidelines report me.

Otherwise quit policing my posts.

Mumsnet won’t ban you for being an arsehole. If they did that every time there would be no such thing as AIBU.

Who on earth are the 15% who voted YABU?

@TinLeaf bloody brilliant that you do this. Tbh I usually shove up my sleeve or something but I’m not going to anymore. Half the population have periods - it’s not personal business it’s bloody normal.

This has reminded me of a new tv Ad where a dad buys towels for teenage DD and tosses to her like it’s a chocolate bar, no fuss.

Your manager has made a huge mistake.
The complainees are dinosaurs.

I don’t think it’s that controversial to say workplace etiquette standards have dropped, is it? I mean, in a variety of ways. People dressing more informally, discussing more topics, eating at desks, all sorts of things.

You raised that in specific relation to the example of women holding sanpro in their hand on the way to the loo.

So do you see that as a 'drop in standards'? Or not?

Anyone seen an individual walking through an office, auditorium, bar, restaurant etc with a colostomy bag or breast pump, even a condom?
Never, but tbh I wouldn’t notice especially with condoms as they are small.
I would be really curious if my colleague regularly walked out of the office with a condom in his hand several times per day. Maybe some did I just didn’t notice.

Get a Nerf gun and fire Tampax at them. Idiots 🙄

@nannybeach

The is the exact opposite of a recent post on here saying we should all have bins in our bathrooms, because otherwise it's upsetting for women who have periods to be forced to use another bin somewhere else!

That was about carrying handfuls of used tampons wrapped in bog roll through a house to be deposited in a kitchen bin. Some people are comfortable with this, some aren't. It's not the same as a wrapped, unused tampon or pad

Mumsnet won’t ban you for being an arsehole. If they did that every time there would be no such thing as AIBU.

Well I'm pretty sure they'd delete some posts before going for the ban, but no matter.

Great, let's crack on.

@Theunamedcat

Request that they put it in writing the exact nature of the distress caused by a sanitary towel

This is good.

@stuntbubbles

I’d give up now. No one on this thread is allowed to express a view other than total agreement with @TheKeatingFive otherwise they get laid into about what the actual equivalent examples are. Didn’t you know that toilet paper is the ONLY comparable example to sanitary products and you’re WRONG and will be told so if you make any other comparison Well, the non-loo roll comparisons have included:

Condoms
Diarrhoea
Urinary incontinence
Breast pumping
Stomas
Changing your top
Farting
Diabetes
Coming to the office with wet hair
Bras
Prostates
Hairy balls
Deodorant
Toothbrushes
Syringes

None of which are equivalent, some of which are ableist, many of which are fucking insane, all of which make me wonder what collective understanding there is of what a period actually is…

Reading with interest.

Can I ask why loo paper is any more of a valid comparison than some of the things listed above?

How is weeing or pooing anything like having a period other than they’re both toilet related?

And if toilet paper is a valid comparison why isn’t say immodium from diarrhoea? I don’t understand this thread…

Of course some of the comparisons are bonkers but some seem very logical to me. There’s nothing identical to periods so a vague comparison is all we can get.

No need in my office. There are free towels and tampons in all the loos. Maybe suggest that to your manager as a way of supporting the sensitive flowers who can’t cope with the sight of sanitary towel packaging.

@TheKeatingFive I just meant that I think it’s clear that standards of etiquette in the office are lower now. Some think that’s a brilliant thing and want to embrace it, other people are more reserved about certain things, including openly carrying sanitary products through the workplace.

Condoms shouldn’t be embarrassing but I don’t want to see them being walked across the office either

But it's not equivalent! Sanitary protection is being used for a necessary function that happens to take place during the work day because, you know, biology.

Condoms would be embarrassing as an equivalent (something being carried to be used at the time) as it would mean you were off to shag someone in the loo during the work day.

This thread is absolutely batshit.

Periods aren't something shameful. San pro is necessary.

If someone takes the time to complain about this to a manager they haven't got enough to do and they aren't focusing on being a decent employee. They're being a prick. And a sexist one at that, whether they are male or female themselves.

I think it's probably best to carry in your handbag.l wouldn't carry a single toilet roll,hairbrush,make up bag or headache tablets unless in a handbag or pocket.
I'm quite private.

Can I ask why loo paper is any more of a valid comparison than some of the things listed above?

I'll tell you.

It's a hygiene aid you need for a bodily function you do in the loo. Exactly like sanpro.

I don't think any of the others fit that exact description.

Not read all 31 pages, so not sure if it's been mentioned, but there's an ad on at the moment about period shaming you could send to the boss and complainers abancommercials.com/uk-ad/36974/always-help-stop-period-shaming-always-rethinkyourreaction-advert

@Wideblueyonder Actually, I agree – I don’t think loo roll is an equivalent and it’s usually there in the loos anyway, for communal use, vs sanitary protection which is usually self-supply. There is no comparison, which in part is why I think all the equivalents on this thread are bizarre and unhelpful, and also why I don’t see why carrying sanpro openly is an issue, and why I think OP’s manager has behaved appallingly here.