I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

@thenewduchessoflapland

My DH manages an office;he said if anyone complained about a member of staff carrying a sanitary towel to the toilet he'd be asking what the problem was as it's just sanitary protection and unless they were dumping their unused sanpro/sanpro rubbish anywhere other than the bin in the toilet then he sees no issues with it.

If they said their issue was they were offended by it then DH would be having a few words about equality and human rights with them.

Oh well if a man says so! How could he possibly have “a few words about equality and human rights with them” if they were offended? People are allowed to be offended. Look round MN at the ridiculous things that offend people.

This is true because generally I use one tampon at a time rather than stuffing them in like a squirrel with nuts.

This made me laugh so much!

More to be respectful of other people's sensibilities

But what would those 'sensibilities' be? Can't cope with the biological realities of women having periods? Is that really something we should be respectful of?

@LoisLane66

Not something I'd do nor would my daughters or dsil. More to be respectful of other people's sensibilities than any shameful connotations. Would you walk to the toilet with one in your hand mid flight to Spain (or anywhere) or on a coach trip or walk through a theatre foyer or restaurant with one?

Yes.. I would if I needed to? Why wouldn't I hold one going to the toilet on a plane? I'm very confused by this line of questioning. It's just a pad, it's really not scary.

@LoisLane66 Yes to all those scenarios. I can’t think of a single scenario where it would be inappropriate to carry unused sanitary protection to a loo in order to use it.

@Clarabe1

Is there any woman on this thread who openly walks through an office with a Tampon or a pad in there hand? Anyone? I have worked on offices 30 plus years and never known a woman walk around with a visible sanitary pad. I am calling this thread as BS unless loads of women pile on me and say it’s normal. I have never once seen it! Women younger and middle aged tend to be quite discreet in open offices where periods are concerned and if they are caught short without a pad or tampon tend to ask in a whisper if they need to borrow one.

I totally agree, worked for 40 years and never seen it.

@LoisLane66

Not something I'd do nor would my daughters or dsil. More to be respectful of other people's sensibilities than any shameful connotations. Would you walk to the toilet with one in your hand mid flight to Spain (or anywhere) or on a coach trip or walk through a theatre foyer or restaurant with one?

Yes...?

Op I'm a workplace union rep and if someone told me a manager had tried to pull this shit we would come down on them like a ton of bricks.

Yes.. I would if I needed to? Why wouldn't I hold one going to the toilet on a plane? I'm very confused by this line of questioning. It's just a pad, it's really not scary.
Right?! Much cleaner to just take the item you need rather than have to put your bag down on the filthy plane toilet room floor.

You could probably actually take them to a tribunal for disciplining you over this.

Complaining is just ridiculous. But then I also think walking with a sanitary towel on view is a bit undignified. They are pretty discreet these days and could easily be concealed in your hand.

@Clarabe1

Is there any woman on this thread who openly walks through an office with a Tampon or a pad in there hand? Anyone? I have worked on offices 30 plus years and never known a woman walk around with a visible sanitary pad. I am calling this thread as BS unless loads of women pile on me and say it’s normal. I have never once seen it! Women younger and middle aged tend to be quite discreet in open offices where periods are concerned and if they are caught short without a pad or tampon tend to ask in a whisper if they need to borrow one.

What exactly is your point??? That periods are something shameful and to be spoken of in a whisper??? How many more times does it have to be spelt out, ITS NOT SEXUAL, it’s just a biological function.

Unions...lol. I have no time for them. I am my own mouthpiece. Each to her own eh...

@DillDanding

Complaining is just ridiculous. But then I also think walking with a sanitary towel on view is a bit undignified. They are pretty discreet these days and could easily be concealed in your hand.

Undignified, whatever are you talking about???

Would you walk to the toilet with one in your hand mid flight to Spain (or anywhere) or on a coach trip or walk through a theatre foyer or restaurant with one?

Yes. It's a pad. Do you hide plasters? Do you refuse to hang your underwear up on the washing line in case somebody knows you wear pants?

How is anybody afraid of people knowing they menstruate?

I also wouldn't care if I saw someone carrying condoms. They're not offensive.

I am post-meno but would gladly come to your office and walk through your office every couple of hours carrying ever changing sanpro.

I can scrub up and look board- member like, and go for an entirely monochrome outfit, so a splash of plastic colour in my hand will look smashing!

It would never have occurred to me to carry them in my hand, be I defend your right to do so.

The BIG issue here is the men having the nerve to actually report it. What is that???

But then I also think walking with a sanitary towel on view is a bit undignified.

Why is it undignified to not hide the fact women have periods?

Anyone seen an individual walking through an office, auditorium, bar, restaurant etc with a colostomy bag or breast pump, even a condom?

To take another tack - if the shift from gendered toilets to gender neutral continues - how you take your Tampax to the bathroom will become a bit moot - the office etiquette issue will be changing your mooncup in front of your male boss.

They are pretty discreet these days and could easily be concealed in your hand.
Like, say, by carrying it. The OP wasn’t doing card tricks with it. The natural way of carrying it does pretty much conceal it, unless there’s going to be a drip feed about tiny fingers or monster gusset. The issue here isn’t “she should conceal it further”; it’s “why are her colleagues examining her so intently they’d even notice a sanitary towel in her hand anyway?”

@Theunamedcat

Request that they put it in writing the exact nature of the distress caused by a sanitary towel

this. email - on reflection, i feel quite distrubed by the idea that i have to carry a bag when i need to go to the toilet which i think is much LESS discrete than carrying a small item in my hand.

I would be grateful for clarification on the issue

get it in writing. they will back down. you will ultimately have evidence you could take to court. it's bloody disgraceful.

fuming on your behalf. we are really asking people to be discreet about smoething 50% of the population experience 12/13 times a year for 30-40 years of their lives? It's absolutely ridiculous

Anyone seen an individual walking through an office, auditorium, bar, restaurant etc with a colostomy bag or breast pump, even a condom?

I'm not sure what point you think you're making with your first two examples. Should people using a colostomy bag be expected to pretend they don't? Isn't that incredibly ablest?

@TheKeatingFive

I think you should be more discreet personally.

Why would you think that unless you think periods are shameful?

And are you having sex in the office? Because otherwise I don't understand why you're bringing condoms into it.

Periods aren’t shameful at all but there is a time and place.

Farting is as natural and normal as menstrual bleeding, but it’s not appropriate to go round doing that, even though we all do it.

Normal, not shameful but there are times when discretion might be better.

@LoisLane66

Anyone seen an individual walking through an office, auditorium, bar, restaurant etc with a colostomy bag or breast pump, even a condom?

How are any of these the same thing? Either way, I would not be offended by the first two. Bodily functions happen, and if they're on their way to and from an appropriate place then I don't care one bit. How are condoms included in this?

Farting is as natural and normal as menstrual bleeding, but it’s not appropriate to go round doing that, even though we all do it.

She's not 'doing' periods (or no more than normal). She's carrying a perfectly hygienic piece of sanpro in her hand.

@LoisLane66

Anyone seen an individual walking through an office, auditorium, bar, restaurant etc with a colostomy bag or breast pump, even a condom?

Breast pump, yes when working in an office. Said woman was taking it to a room to pump for her baby.
Colostomy wise, I've seen plenty on show on the beach or beside swimming pools. Do you expect people with a colostomy to cover it up?