I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

@TheKeatingFive

My work have started providing it. And have said it's there to be used - not just an emergency supply.

That's awesome

It really is. All kinds available, and just in a basket in the toilets to help yourself with just a request that if you finish something tell the staff member responsible for buying and it will be replenished.

Meanwhile in the real world no women I know openly walk through the office with a fistfull of tampons/pads.

Just stuck them in a pocket or up your sleeve.
I don’t want any one knowing I’m on my period, it’s private.

You’re not doing anything wrong! Personally I wouldn’t do it as I’d not want people to know I was on my period particularly. Not because there’s anything wrong with it, or shameful, more because I’d feel on the back foot - people know something more personal about me than I know about them. If in an office of men, I bet there’d be a couple who’d clock it and use it as ammo - ‘ooh PMT’ etc. I wouldn’t want to give them that satisfaction.

I remember a boss wanting to limit sanitary bins to every second cubicle, or even to just one set of bathrooms to save costs. My colleague came to me to sense check it, "this is mental yes?" "Yes" she said she immediately blurted out no whilst basically laughing at him that she was then mortified and worried she hadn't actually thought it through.

@Sswhinesthebest

I think you should be more discreet personally. Condoms shouldn’t be embarrassing but I don’t want to see them being walked across the office either, or acne cream or anything a bit personal.

Surely someone walking across the office with a condom would be inappropriate because they're going off for a posh wank in works time or for a shag in the cupboard

@Sswhinesthebest

I think you should be more discreet personally. Condoms shouldn’t be embarrassing but I don’t want to see them being walked across the office either, or acne cream or anything a bit personal.

Where’s the correlation between a condom/acne product and a sanitary product???? Are you understanding the difference between what you actually NEED versus making a choice to bring certain items to work. Your comparison is ridiculous

Meanwhile in the real world no women I know openly walk through the office with a fistfull of tampons/pads.

While this is true to a certain degree, you should be asking yourself if this is reasonable and why it's normal for women to hide what everyone already knows is the case?

It's weird thst your manager brought you in the talk about it... Nearly illegal??
But I wouldn't carry one visibly around either... Wouldn't be waving toilet paper either.. In the office that is... But I'm probably a bit of a prude

Wouldn't be waving toilet paper either.

Well I don't think anyone's asking you to wave it, but if there was no toilet roll and you had to bring it in for some reason, would you just do that or would you feel the need to disguise it?

Is there any woman on this thread who openly walks through an office with a Tampon or a pad in there hand? Anyone? I have worked on offices 30 plus years and never known a woman walk around with a visible sanitary pad. I am calling this thread as BS unless loads of women pile on me and say it’s normal. I have never once seen it! Women younger and middle aged tend to be quite discreet in open offices where periods are concerned and if they are caught short without a pad or tampon tend to ask in a whisper if they need to borrow one.

This happened to me too! I did it one time as I was wearing a dress that didn't have pockets and had short sleeves as I do usually put it in a pocket or up my sleeve. They told me it was inappropriate and suggestive. Suggestive of what? Menstruation?

Though this was the same boss who called me in about dressing inappropriately for the work place. His examples were a variety of long sleeve tops or jumpers, even a couple of turtles necks. All of the examples had only one thing in common which is that they were fitted and sat against my body. So basically it was just inappropriate for me to have boobs.

Best comments so far -

• Tampon flapper dress with coconuts made from mooncups
• 'I'm on the blob!'
• Oooooh, Bodyform. Body formed for yooooou!'
• Bowl of San Pro like pick and mix
• Getting the wings out and making swooping noises
• Are you there God? It's me, Mumsnet

Personally, I'd be making a House of Cards made from sanitary towels, glue gunning it together and sitting it on top of my computer.

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

Let's all get one! We can dance around Tinleaf's office in them to distract her colleagues from the tiny sanitary towel in her hand.

Omg this is infuriating! I would be be raising a formal grievance against your manager for even having this conversation with you. It’s discrimination

My DH manages an office;he said if anyone complained about a member of staff carrying a sanitary towel to the toilet he'd be asking what the problem was as it's just sanitary protection and unless they were dumping their unused sanpro/sanpro rubbish anywhere other than the bin in the toilet then he sees no issues with it.

If they said their issue was they were offended by it then DH would be having a few words about equality and human rights with them.

Haven't rtft so sorry if someone has already suggested this.

On Monday ask for a meeting with your manager and make a counter complaint, say that there are men that stare at you while you walk to the bathroom and it makes you feel unsettled. Please can they be spoken to accordingly and made aware that they are displaying unprofessional behaviour.

I am calling this thread as BS unless loads of women pile on me and say it’s normal.

I don't think it is normal, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be.

I find the degree to which women are conditioned to keep the existence of their periods hidden from society quite shocking.

Meanwhile in the real world no women I know openly walk through the office with a fistfull of tampons/pads.
This is true because generally I use one tampon at a time rather than stuffing them in like a squirrel with nuts. But I do openly walk through the office holding one. I’ve no idea if other women do because I’m usually working rather than staring at people on their way to the loo.

I'm now 50, and have been quite happy to walk to the loo with a wrapped, unused pad in my hand. Anyone that sees it that knows what it is, generally knows what it's for. And. . .

Follow this up in writing OP. Get them in an email to state that they are against seeing any sanitary products, and ask them their reasoning in writing. Explain why you need them. That as a woman you menstruate, so you need to carry sanitary products to the toilet with you. This may happen a number of times a day. Ask them why it is so offensive to see an unused product wrapped in plastic.

I would also explain that as a woman, you find it completely offensive that they are trying to insinuate there is something morally wrong, with carrying around a product that is necessary in order for you to continue working when you are on your period. You were not waving them about. You have a period in the same way that you need a glass of water, or to eat your lunch. These are things necessary to survival. We have toilet roll provided, unfortunately, this is not the case for sanitary products.

I hope they squirm.

@BurntO

YANBU at all. How ridiculous. Why is it “broadcasting” when you’re on your period? If I walked through the office with a notepad am I “broadcasting “ that I have a meeting? If I have a lunchbox am I “broadcasting” I am off on my break? Or am I merely getting on with my day minding my own business and expecting everyone else to do the same

Thank you - my sentiments exactly

I’ve read most of the thread but can you put it in writing to your manager and just get her to confirm what she’s said? I feel like that kinda thing id wanna keep firmly in my back pocket for a potential later date

Not something I'd do nor would my daughters or dsil.
More to be respectful of other people's sensibilities than any shameful connotations.
Would you walk to the toilet with one in your hand mid flight to Spain (or anywhere) or on a coach trip or walk through a theatre foyer or restaurant with one?

@Clarabe1

Is there any woman on this thread who openly walks through an office with a Tampon or a pad in there hand? Anyone? I have worked on offices 30 plus years and never known a woman walk around with a visible sanitary pad. I am calling this thread as BS unless loads of women pile on me and say it’s normal. I have never once seen it! Women younger and middle aged tend to be quite discreet in open offices where periods are concerned and if they are caught short without a pad or tampon tend to ask in a whisper if they need to borrow one.

Maybe it varies by industry, but this is quite a normal thing to do everywhere I've been.

I prefer to be descete. Really don't care if others choose to wave their's about though. I'm amazed anyone actually notices. I find the notion of taking your bag to the toilet worse in terms of advertising your period.