Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

999 replies

TinLeaf · 11/03/2022 17:25

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
stevalnamechanger · 11/03/2022 21:03

@Theunamedcat

Request that they put it in writing the exact nature of the distress caused by a sanitary towel
This then loop in HR

This is disgraceful

Sswhinesthebest · 11/03/2022 21:03

I think you should be more discreet personally. Condoms shouldn’t be embarrassing but I don’t want to see them being walked across the office either, or acne cream or anything a bit personal.

Endoftether2000 · 11/03/2022 21:05

I was once advised by a colleague (younger woman than me) by email to close my bag as she could see my sanitary products. I emailed back that it did not concern me, so don't feel like she had to pay it much mind.

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 21:05

I think you should be more discreet personally.

Why would you think that unless you think periods are shameful?

And are you having sex in the office? Because otherwise I don't understand why you're bringing condoms into it.

tigger1001 · 11/03/2022 21:06

@KittenKong

I’m chortling at a thread I saw on twitter yesterday where a company is providing facilities (and assuredly ‘break time’) for, ummm, special ‘me time’ self care breaks (yes it’s what you think).

So if they think carrying a tampon through the office is outrageous, it could be much much worse.

There was a thread on here about that too!
LondonQueen · 11/03/2022 21:06

I would start leaving them on my desk for all to see!

Aprilx · 11/03/2022 21:06

@TheKeatingFive

I think it’s uncouth to walk across the office with a sanitary towel in your hand tbh same with a loo roll.

So what would be a 'couth' way of bringing a loo roll to the bathroom if you needed to do that?

I have worked for thirty years and have never needed to bring my own loo roll with me to the loo. Most workplaces provide it and it is in there already.

To OP, I find this puzzling, you must have been waving it around in some way or how would anyone even notice, were you trying to make a point?

I don’t think there is any particular reason why you should have to hide it, but I don’t think it being a natural function is any reason not to be discrete either. We have lots of natural body functions, it doesn’t mean we need to share them with our colleagues. I wouldn’t dream of announcing I was going for a poo and neither would any man I have ever worked with, despite what some people have suggested men do on this thread.

ButtockUp · 11/03/2022 21:08

[quote AffIt]@ButtockUp

All men know that women bleed.

If you are actually the age you say you are, then I'd be surprised if you think this.

I'm in my 40s and I STILL have male contemporaries who have almost literally no fucking idea of how the female body works.

Perhaps you work in a very progressive area, but in my experience, there is a literal fuck tonne of men out there who a) don't know and b) don't care.[/quote]
Rest assured that they do know.
And why should they care? It’s a normal bodily function.
No one should care, but walking around with a tampon or a pad is just silly .

MrsMcNally · 11/03/2022 21:08

@TheKeatingFive

I think the sneery insult accompanied by laughing emoji speaks for itself.

Think what you like. I believe that the internalised misogyny on here is depressing beyond belief and I'm expressing those feelings.

Report me if you think I'm breaking guidelines.

I don’t think you’re breaking guidelines and this isn’t the school playground where I’m going to run to the teacher. I just think you’re being unnecessarily rude and disrespectful.

I agree with a huge amount being said about how periods are nothing shameful and that if anything there should be action taken against the men who complained and more over the manager who felt it was reasonable to raise this with the OP. I agree that the misogyny is very depressing.

I also find it depressing to see some women on here being so nasty and unkind and disrespectful to other women under the guise of feminism.

Anyway, time to assert my own boundaries about spending my time on things that positively affect me, something this thread is no longer doing so I’m out.

OP I hope you can resolve this and get the apology you very much deserve from your manager.

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 21:09

Most workplaces provide it and it is in there already.

Well that's exactly the point isn't it?

They don't do this with sanpro. Despite being used by 50% of the workforce.

But just theoretically, if the office ran out and someone had to take a loo roll in with them, how should they do it? Coyly hidden in a bag?

katepilar · 11/03/2022 21:09

@PatchworkElmer

I always think it’s more obvious when people carry bags to the toilet 🤷🏻‍♀️
Thats what I often think about too! If I have a pocket, I will use it but if not, I just carry it my hand. As I used cloth pads I even come back with a soiled one which is folded into a neat packet.
tillytoodles1 · 11/03/2022 21:10

I had a box of tampax in a bag on my desk as I'd bought them on my way to work. My boss came in, thought they were sweets, and said "ooh can I have one" and grabbed the bag. I burst out laughing at the look on his face, as although he was married with two kids, he looked horrified and threw the bag back on my desk.

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 21:11

I just think you’re being unnecessarily rude and disrespectful.

Well obviously enough I disagree and as the mods are the ultimate arbitrators I pointed you in that direction. If you have an issue, report. Otherwise just respond to my points.

nannybeach · 11/03/2022 21:12

The is the exact opposite of a recent post on here saying we should all have bins in our bathrooms, because otherwise it's upsetting for women who have periods to be forced to use another bin somewhere else!

greasyshoes · 11/03/2022 21:13

It's usually women who take offense to periods. Men are largely indifferent because we have absolutely no experience of it.

The only place where men are offended by periods is on TV.

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 21:14

The is the exact opposite of a recent post on here saying we should all have bins in our bathrooms, because otherwise it's upsetting for women who have periods to be forced to use another bin somewhere else!

Are we missing the very distinctive difference between used and unused sanpro here?

Takeaway2021 · 11/03/2022 21:16

My husband and I travelled a lot in our 20/30s whilst our friends had children and bought houses, saying they would travel when the children left home, we now own a house and have a 12 year old and still travel, Covid permitting, my friends children have grown, they rarely leave the Village, travel if and when you can, life is sort.

tigger1001 · 11/03/2022 21:17

@TheKeatingFive

Most workplaces provide it and it is in there already.

Well that's exactly the point isn't it?

They don't do this with sanpro. Despite being used by 50% of the workforce.

But just theoretically, if the office ran out and someone had to take a loo roll in with them, how should they do it? Coyly hidden in a bag?

My work have started providing it. And have said it's there to be used - not just an emergency supply. It's not something that's hidden in my work anyway - have been asked if I have spare if someone started their period unexpectedly. I kept some in my drawer.

But the supply of toilet roll is kept in a cupboard outside the toilet and should be replaced if finished. Sadly laziness seems to dictate that people can't be bothered with that 🙄 or maybe this thread shows they are embarrassed 🙈

Coffeeonmytoffee · 11/03/2022 21:17

Make a hat or Tampax and pads. That way you'll look nice and be practical. These people need to get a grip.

Jewel52 · 11/03/2022 21:17

Some of the posts here demonstrate why we have period poverty. Women don’t choose to have periods, they’re biological and, as many other posters have pointed out, no different to needing the toilet. I hope the OP takes this to HR. In my eyes anyone staring at s woman because she’s carrying a tampon/sanitary pad is the same as the pathetic idiots who take photos of women breastfeeding. Just grow up ffs

Endoftether2000 · 11/03/2022 21:17

AprilX I worked with someone that used to advise of a two o clock drop. Lovely lady and was a daily entertainment in the office. It was an advisory to avoid the facilities. Maybe some people are bought up to less conscious of bodily functions 🤔

Coffeeonmytoffee · 11/03/2022 21:18

A hat of Tampax and pads!!

BurntO · 11/03/2022 21:18

@nannybeach can you really not see the difference? I wouldn’t carry my sanpro through office because of my own insecurities and fear of being judged but I fully support anyone who does as it shouldn’t even raise an eyebrow. There’s also a difference between unopened and unused san pro and use sanpro….

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 21:18

My work have started providing it. And have said it's there to be used - not just an emergency supply.

That's awesome

DoobryWhatsit · 11/03/2022 21:21

@Blossomtoes

Be careful though it could reduce the strength of arguments for single sex toilets as women are very comfortable with men knowing they are having a period.

Exactly that. Every argument I’ve ever seen for retaining single sex loos has included privacy for menstruating women yet it seems that 86% of women couldn’t care less.

I have mixed toilets at work. I promise you that walking quickly past a male colleague whilst carrying a tampon is not at all the same as actually actually shoving it up your fanny with a man in the next cubicle (or worse, waiting impatiently outside the door for you to finish)