I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

I’m not going to argue with you anymore, you’re clearly ignoring the point I’m making on purpose

Are you mixing me up with someone else?

No matter, you can't answer my point, that much is obvious 😂

@alexdgr8

i think in an office ie workplace environment, it is best to be discreet. and it is not so difficult. handbag/pocket/up sleeve of cardigan/ envelope. going to the loo is nothing to be ashamed of either, for any use, but why not have some dignity and self respect and respect for others, and not impose the details on colleagues. i think thing have swung too far. maybe common sense and common decency will prevail eventually.

I agree with you.

I’d sit at my desk like this lady.

I work with all men. I keep that stuff in the bathroom. When we built out the office I had cabinets installed for make up, pads and towels, plugs for hair stuff because I sometimes blow or curl my hair before going out and front back full length mirrors so you can see what you look like from all angles.

The next time they talk about their shits call them out on it. I’d wave a pad in the air or be like this lady.

Either your sanitary towels are the size of a moses basket mattress, or your colleagues stare at your hands very closely.

I think it's the second. They need to do some work

You're right, there's nothing wrong with periods and they are natural. However not wanting people to know I'm having my period or talk about it doesn't make me misogynistic! I don't think OP did anything wrong but choosing to put them in a pocket or up a sleeve isn't wrong either.
Sure, if that's how you choose to roll, more power to you.

But people are saying the OP was unprofessional, uncouth, lacking in class, to carry a clean, UNUSED, presumably wrapped pad in her hand on the way to the toilet and those people are the ones with the problem.

I agree with you.

You agree that having 'dignity and self respect' involves pretending you don't menstruate?

I’m chortling at a thread I saw on twitter yesterday where a company is providing facilities (and assuredly ‘break time’) for, ummm, special ‘me time’ self care breaks (yes it’s what you think).

So if they think carrying a tampon through the office is outrageous, it could be much much worse.

@MrsMcNally

I completely agree. And I haven’t used language like that at all yet a few posters are repeatedly laying in to me for asserting my own personal boundaries about what information I share with work colleagues about my body. And they’re doing it in the name of feminism

It's because of the way you phrased it. You said:

"Because for me personally I think it’s absolutely reasonable to have some boundaries around what’s appropriate, particularly in a workplace."

This could be interpreted in 2 ways: 1. That it's reasonable for individuals to have their own personal boundaries around what's appropriate in a workplace or 2. Personally thinking that it's reasonable to have established boundaries around what's appropriate in a workplace.

It sounded more like 2, but I assume you claim you meant 1.

I would leave a pack of them on my desk lol
Do any of these men have wives/ girlfriends? They are being ridiculous

I hope you're raising it with HR

I wouldn't do this....but I have been brought up wrong!

I have 2 sons who I have brought up to the best of my abilities as feminist....its a losing battle!
I as their mum have a responsibility to teach them that women and all that comes with our sex is normal and expected. Society over rules me.

@GrouchyKiwi

You're right, there's nothing wrong with periods and they are natural. However not wanting people to know I'm having my period or talk about it doesn't make me misogynistic! I don't think OP did anything wrong but choosing to put them in a pocket or up a sleeve isn't wrong either. Sure, if that's how you choose to roll, more power to you.

But people are saying the OP was unprofessional, uncouth, lacking in class, to carry a clean, UNUSED, presumably wrapped pad in her hand on the way to the toilet and those people are the ones with the problem.

I'm fully aware of that. The post I was replying to was talking about being misogynistic and I was trying to make the point that it's possible to think OP did nothing wrong and also prefer not to let other people know you're having you're period.

@TheKeatingFive

I’m not going to argue with you anymore, you’re clearly ignoring the point I’m making on purpose

Are you mixing me up with someone else?

No matter, you can't answer my point, that much is obvious 😂

Ok I’ll bite.

I fully agree with your point that a loo roll needs changing when it runs out. I’m just not seeing the relevance of that to the point that I was making, and which you quoted, which was that not wanting to do something doesn’t automatically mean shame. That’s where my point about nudity came in.

I think we’re having parallel discussions and you think I’m making entirely different points to what I actually am. But unlike a normal, intelligent or kind adult, your response is not to respectfully debate or ask questions, it’s to sneer and snigger like some kind of overgrown playground bully trying to get one over on everyone to make yourself feel big and clever.

A shining example of all that is depressing about mumsnet these days and why I’m pretty close to giving up on the site.

I can’t believe ur manager gave them the time or day or even told you !!

Ahh if only all our troubles were so small eh ! Imagine having so little in life to concern urself about that a sanitary towel is a big deal…. Must be fuckin bliss !! I’d be tempted to find out who it was and have a word with them ! Sad fucks

But unlike a normal, intelligent or kind adult, your response is not to respectfully debate or ask questions, it’s to sneer and snigger like some kind of overgrown playground bully trying to get one over on everyone to make yourself feel big and clever.

How was I doing anything like that? I was indicating a more appropriate analogy to the point that the OP raised.

Definitely raise this with HR.

Also sooooooo much internalised misogyny on this thread. Very depressing.

Can thankfully say my male friends and work colleagues are nothing like this. At my work we regularly ask the guys to buy tampons for us if they're going to the shop. People openly talk about periods as they realise how important it is to destigmatize something which has a hugely negative effect on women and girls.

YANBU at all. How ridiculous. Why is it “broadcasting” when you’re on your period? If I walked through the office with a notepad am I “broadcasting “ that I have a meeting? If I have a lunchbox am I “broadcasting” I am off on my break? Or am I merely getting on with my day minding my own business and expecting everyone else to do the same

I usually just put one up my cuff of my sleeve - I personally would not carry it through the office - maybe I am old fashioned!

I'd be telling my manager actually no, since I'm menopausal if carrying sanitary products is a no-no then you will simply free-bleed for the week and save the embarrassment for the menz.

How would she like to go about protecting the chair/carpet etc. Nothing to overt, or it might lead to the same level of embarrassment.

But I always was stubborn and sarcastic.

Yes Miss 😆

[quote ButtockUp]@lemmein
I did not use the word 'wafting' with sanitary protection.
Please read my post again. [/quote]
These things are personal. Personal to each of us.
These are normal things but they're personal to us.
Carry on wafting your pads but expect to be pulled up on it

@ButtockUp except you did

You should read your post again - bizarre!

It's up to the individual whether they want to be more discreet or if they don't mind carrying it. These men recognise what you're carrying so presumably their precious little eyes have seen it before and they all have mothers, after all.

@TheKeatingFive

But unlike a normal, intelligent or kind adult, your response is not to respectfully debate or ask questions, it’s to sneer and snigger like some kind of overgrown playground bully trying to get one over on everyone to make yourself feel big and clever.

How was I doing anything like that? I was indicating a more appropriate analogy to the point that the OP raised.

I think the sneery insult accompanied by laughing emoji speaks for itself.

@MrsMcNally

For those who can’t understand that not wanting work colleagues to know you’re on your period doesn’t automatically equate to believing that periods are shameful, let me ask you this - would you feel comfortable being naked at work? If not, are you ashamed of your body?

It’s very possible to assert personal boundaries without shame being on one side of that boundary.

Not wanting others to know you (as in the individual) is having a period is perfectly fine. That's an individual choice, that you get to make for you and you alone.

Comparing it to having sex in the workplace or being naked in the workplace is just odd.

Others don't get to say (as some have in this thread) that taking a san pro into the bathroom is advertising, lacking in dignity, unprofessional and they should take a bag, put it in an envelope etc.

If you take a bag into the toilet, people will likely guess anyway, if they care.

And ultimately that's the issue. Why did the men who complained care? Why would anyone care if they saw a woman take a san pro/ bag etc into the toilet? What possible difference does it make to their day? Or is it just a way to bully women in the workplace? Oh don't listen to her, she's on her period etc

The men complaining are the ones who should be getting pulled up for their discriminating behaviour but instead it's the op who got pulled up - by a woman.

I think the sneery insult accompanied by laughing emoji speaks for itself.

Think what you like. I believe that the internalised misogyny on here is depressing beyond belief and I'm expressing those feelings.

Report me if you think I'm breaking guidelines.