I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

Didn’t see this. I’ll put on the music.

Wow ! I think that's shocking !! Who even cares ! All woman have periods it's nothing to be ashamed off ! Wow

@Bordois

How many women take their handbags to the toilets with them when they arent on their period?

This reminds me of a conversation at work many years ago, before the menstrating roller skater graced our tv screen and such topics were taboo.

Paul(17) - is gillian going home?
Me - no, to loo I think
Paul - but she took her bag
Me - yes
Paul - I really think shes gone home, I need her for something
Me - [trying to stop myself from laughing] ok, let me explain, once a month a women's hair gets really messy and they need to take their bag to the loo for their hairbrush to brush it
Paul - 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Its ridiculous 30 years on a women can't walk through an the office carrying a wrapped towel.

I think I’d follow up the conversation with an email so your boss can clarify what was said + paper trail just in case it goes higher
And then carry on as before

You’re done nothing wrong op- unless it was dirty or you were waving it around or in peoples faces

ST are tiny these days - your colleagues must be taking a lot of notice of you

Found a suitably discreet bag for you

@AKASammyScrounge

I would never walk about carrying an ST like that. Mine are always discreetly in my bag. I cannot see the point of making a public display.

How, exactly, is walking through an office with a towel in your hand "making a public display"?

@Forshorttheycallmecomp

Buy a copy of Emma Barnet’s book Period (www.waterstones.com/book/period/emma-barnett/9780008308117) and leave it on your desk, or offer it to re-educate your colleagues…

Good idea. Op could also take a copy of it to the loos every she goes to the loo with the title proudly visible. These men are clearly ogling and from accounts on this thread, men have no issue with taking books and newspapers to the loo so they’d not be able to complain.

"She didn’t need to verbally announce it considering people have eyes"

Who should have been working.

People go to the toilet. People see others going to the toilet. We can assume they are going to relieve their bladder or have a poo. But it's not seen as "advertising" just observing someone going to the toilet. Why is this different?

If you were close by, I could give you a massive tenapad to walk through the office with. That’ll make the Pearl clutchers have a funny turn and swoon! I’ve heard it all now! A clean sanitary pad tucked in your hand makes people uncomfortable!

@MotherWol

Found a suitably discreet bag for you

Oh yes!

Maybe launch a counter complaint about the people staring at you every time you get up from your desk to use the loo. That WOULD make me uncomfortable. Creeps.

I'd be very, very tempted to decorate my desk with tampons.
Tell your manager that you are not ashamed, and the people complaining are the ones with the problem. Also tell her that if she tries to shame you again then you will make a complaint to HR.

What fucking century is this?!

I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

Please do this 🤣🤣🤣

Considering the size of my handbag, it would be a lot less discreet to take my bag with me than a single pad. Especially as I'd only be taking my bag for a week each month - totally obvious!

I still can’t believe there are women here who think it’s not on to walk with, showing a sanitary towel in case it offends men or maybe even women. Are women supposed to fold it over, scurry quickly past with it?

Buy yourself some nice tampon jewellery to wear to the office.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1071265166/needle-felted-tampon-jewellery?click_key=142936d39eb74f1672133b9ffa515e7ac374ac02%3A1071265166&click_sum=5a147c4c&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tampon+necklace&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&frs=1

Showing my age here no doubt but when I was growing up I noticed that my mother kept a mysterious package in the airing cupboard.
Later on when I got my period I realised that this is where she sanitary towels live, rather than the bathroom.

On a different note, I had a boyfriend once (as adults) who had a job stacking shelves in a supermarket when he was a teenager.
One day, he found what I suppose was something like a lilette? (small wrapped non applicator-type tampon) on the floor in the shop. He didn't know what it was, opened it, and thought it was a cute little mouse-type badge thing so he hung it on the button of his overalls and merrily kept on with his day.
One of the cashiers took him aside eventually and explained gently to him why they were all crying laughing all day 😂

Come on, you know us ladies shouldn’t give any outward sign of being sexual beings - next you’ll be wearing a cream blouse over a black bra!

Going against the grain here I wouldn't walk through the office with a sanitary towel in my hand. I wouldn't walk through with a toilet roll or a can of deodorant either.

I'm not ashamed about f my periods and don't keep sanitary towels hidden away at home but I'd rather be somewhat discreet with my personal hygiene around my work colleagues for my own privacy.

I do think the people complaining are utterly pathetic and should get over themselves

@MrsMcNally

In any case, much as I wouldn’t openly carry personal care products in my office I also wouldn’t dream of complaining if someone else did and I can’t imagine our HR manager entertaining this kind of complaint for one minute because it’s pretty obvious that anyone is entitled to carry sanpro to the toilet. So I don’t think the OP is unreasonable to be shocked that this was raised with her but anyone must know that some people would be raising an eyebrow even if they said nothing. It should be entirely the OP’s personal choice if she cares about that. I wouldn’t make the same choices as her but unlike some of the other posters on this crazy thread I can see and respect other points of view.

@MrsMcNally - there is nothing wrong at all with carrying personal care products in the office! Nothing wrong at all!

If you carry a whole box of tampons around, a single tampon, a mooncup, a packet of sanitary towels or a single sanitary towel from your desk to the toilet there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

@ofwarren

Out of interest - How do you buy your sanitary towels? You know that there are men in the shop and THEY MIGHT SEE YOU CARRYING SANITARY TOWELS! Do you hide them in your bag and take them out when you're at the checkout ( and look around to see if there are no men in the area?

And God forbid a MAN is the person on the till!!

I remember cringeing when having to buy sts in a pharmacy and a man was serving

I was 17. Things were different

I wouldn't care now

I'm on the side of being private but equally wouldn't bat an eyelid at anyone carrying one to the loo. So I'm helpfully on the fence

@Instafreak231

I’m sorry but walking around the office with a sanitary towel is just weird. Why would you do that? It’s a private bodily function, how would you feel if a colleague kept on announcing they were about to do a poo? Sorry I think it’s really weird to do this - and I think all the people up in arms on this thread need to just chill. Periods, pooing, shaving, waxing are all nothing to be ashamed of. But I would do them in private.

She did do it in private. I mean, you got that part right? She was on her way to the bathroom. Just checking…

I misread at first and thought you were carrying a used one to dispose of it, and in that case I think it would be unreasonable if people could see and tell what it was you were carrying. But a clean, unused one?

Honestly, I'd probably carry it in my purse or slip it into my pocket (or failing that, just carry it discreetly hidden in my hand), but that's for my own sake. There's nothing disgusting about an unused sanitary towel! What a strange thing to complain about!

Who knows what these people would think if they walked into my local library because you can pick up free sanitary towels and tampons at the entrance. Someone might have to bring them round with a dose of smelling salts.
Carry on as you are OP.