I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

The really fabulous thing these days is though, you don’t even need to carry your sanitary pad visibly to the bathroom to make sure those creepy guys are offended by your period because Always have very kindly monopolized the market and provided us really strong cheaply scented sanitary products and very rarely any other option available, so everyone can smell we’ve got our periods anyway. Happy days. Enjoy being discreet everyone!

@Bunnyfuller

The 1950s are alive and kicking on MN tonight 😂😂😂🙈

Aren’t they just?!

Yes, deffo carry it in a clear bag so you've done what she asked by putting it in a bag. Plus I'd leave a box of Tampax on my desk but I'm a bit belligerent like that!

You could flip it back to her and ask why the company isn't providing free san pro just as it provides free toilet roll. Staff amenity and all that

Blew my mind on visiting in USA back in the early 90s - free san pro in the loos

I am pretty old and quite private/ shy as a rule and, while I think that they are ridiculous and wrong to complain, I wouldn't carry a sanitary product OR toilet paper openly across a workplace or anywhere public. Sorry to go against the majority opinion!

Anyone uncomfortable with a woman holding a sanitary product needs to grow the fuck up and I'd say to my manager they need to provide sanpro in the toilets then and I'd go as far as to say its discrimination that they even spoke to you about it since its not something men have to do.

Appalling.

And a box of feminax and female hygiene wipes on my desk!

@SparkleSpangle

While I think it is ridiculous anyone complained. There is something to be said for being discreet. Obviously you are going to have a period but do you need to let everyone know. Just put it in your pocket.

Why be discreet? This is so annoying. Like when women should breastfeed 'discreetl'. Erm no

Ridiculous!

I remember a similar situation nearly 30 years ago where a male manager boasted proudly that he could always tell which female staff members were on their period as they always took their handbags with them to the loo.

Our office was in the city centre so lots of staff used to shop on their way into work or during their lunch breaks. What happened was that every female member of staff, and brilliantly women managers who were the same grade as him, then took every bag they had - their handbag and every shopping bag - with them to the loo. It went on for weeks. He was suitably embarrassed enough to never speak such nonsense ever again.

Yes, if it gets mentioned again, suggest they provide free sanitary products to your liking in the loos to solve the problem of those poor delicate men that "shock/horror" have to think about women having periods when they see a feminine hygiene product.

Pop it on your head🙂

I would complain. Why shame a woman for having a period? Are we going to pretend periods don't happen? I would complain to HR for being told off and for being made to feel ashamed for something a woman's body naturally do. infuriating! Honestly it sometimes feels like this country is going backwards.

I bet some people on here would have proper conniptions if they saw a pregnant woman advertising the fact she's had sex

To the pearl-clutchers on this thread: I have male and female friends who are T1 insulin-dependent diabetics and have to inject themselves at points throughout the day.

How do you feel about them 'flaunting' their insulin kits en route to the bathroom and being blatantly obvious about the fact that they HAVE to insert needles into to their bodies?

@tigger1001

"I gave condoms as an example of a personal care item and it was the first one that I thought of that may be very likely for a man to carry.

Why is sex an inappropriate comparison, as another completely normal and not at all shameful bodily function that still may not be appropriate to discuss in the workplace? I don’t see what’s so wildly wrong with that?

Replace with any other normal bodily function or physical activity if you prefer!

You ignored the other example I gave of deodorant - normal and not shameful but I don’t want to think about my work colleagues’ sweat. Is that more ok with you?!"

Sex isn't a bodily function and it's not something that generally happens in the workplace, certainly none I have been in. So not a comparison at all.

As someone further up the thread said, a comparison would be if a man was going to the toilet and knew there wasn't any toilet roll and took some into the bathroom. Would he be expected to hide it? To have dignity?

Deodorant- I often see colleagues carrying deodorant to the bathroom. No big deal. Some put perfume on at their desk. No
One bats an eyelid

I really don’t have the energy to argue with persistent nitpicking but just refer to my previous posts.

And fwiw I would indeed be a bit if a man strolled off to the toilet carrying loo roll because immediately I’m (albeit fleetingly) thinking of him poo-ing.

Just accept and respect that people feel differently to each other. There’s no need to be so belligerent because not everyone agrees with you, FFS.

Stick them to their computers and office windows next time.

I'd be tempted to put in a formal complaint to HR about your manager suggesting you should be more discreet. I'd love to see what argument they can come up with to shame a woman for having her period.

@drigon

I am pretty old and quite private/ shy as a rule and, while I think that they are ridiculous and wrong to complain, I wouldn't carry a sanitary product OR toilet paper openly across a workplace or anywhere public. Sorry to go against the majority opinion!

Nor would I

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

This made me burst out loud laughing. What a phenomenal image. Please do this ASAP op.

@Bordois

I bet some people on here would have proper conniptions if they saw a pregnant woman advertising the fact she's had sex

Conniptions is such a great word

@100problems

In my life I have never been embarrassed by periods, but equally I would never walk around a workplace carrying a sanitary towel. What I do on or in the toilet stays between me and the toilet.

^^. I don't see why you're choosing to be SO obvious! Then act surprise when you make oeople uncomfortable. People don't need to know you're on your period, anymore than they need to know you intend to do a poo. Advertising not necessary!!

Personally, I'd just put it in a bag or pouch and not think twice about it.

@MrsMcNally some people do feel differently, but why not challenge yourself to think why you feel like that? Do you think periods are inherently shameful, disgusting and require hiding? Why else would the slightest sign that someone might have one bother you.

In terms of ‘personal hygiene’ would you feel equally uncomfortable seeing someone carrying a personal packet of tissues because they have a cold? If not, why?