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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

999 replies

TinLeaf · 11/03/2022 17:25

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
AncientWhitedogpoop · 11/03/2022 19:17

Oh my gosh it's managers like that that remind me why I don't miss working in the office.
I used to put a tampon up my sleeve or down my boot to go to the loo. You could always guarantee as well that someone would stop you to ask you a question while you uncomfortably rustled your arm and held it with the sleeve all the way down your hand Blush We shouldn't have to do this!

MrsMcNally · 11/03/2022 19:17

@TheKeatingFive

It’s not being prudish or sexist, if a bloke walked around visibly holding condoms I would be a bit confused not because I think sex is shameful but because I don’t want to think about my colleagues having sex

Why are you comparing this to sex? Confused

I gave condoms as an example of a personal care item and it was the first one that I thought of that may be very likely for a man to carry.

Why is sex an inappropriate comparison, as another completely normal and not at all shameful bodily function that still may not be appropriate to discuss in the workplace? I don’t see what’s so wildly wrong with that?

Replace with any other normal bodily function or physical activity if you prefer!

You ignored the other example I gave of deodorant - normal and not shameful but I don’t want to think about my work colleagues’ sweat. Is that more ok with you?!

ABitOfAShitShow · 11/03/2022 19:18

What a bunch of fucking nonsense. Idiots.

I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

Please do this. 😂

AffIt · 11/03/2022 19:18

@ButtockUp

All men know that women bleed.

If you are actually the age you say you are, then I'd be surprised if you think this.

I'm in my 40s and I STILL have male contemporaries who have almost literally no fucking idea of how the female body works.

Perhaps you work in a very progressive area, but in my experience, there is a literal fuck tonne of men out there who a) don't know and b) don't care.

Zerrin13 · 11/03/2022 19:18

I had periods for 44 years! I never carried sanpro in my hand and I've never seen anyone else do it either. If I did see a woman carrying a pad to the toilet I wouldn't feel it was a problem at all. Any man complaining about this needs to fuck off with his lily livered delicate disposition.

stuntbubbles · 11/03/2022 19:18

@ButtockUp What a lot of purple prose you’ve used to make up something that never happened. The OP carried a sanitary towel in her hand: there was no wafting, waltzing, waving, advertising or forcing.

And if someone needs to carry out a bodily function at work, be it changing a sanitary towel, injecting, pumping breast milk, changing a stoma bag, of course they can carry their item to their destination. What the fuck do you want people to do? We can’t all stuff our paraphernalia in the A4 envelope mentioned earlier – have you seen the price of paper, or encountered the power-hungry colleague with the key to the stationery cupboard? Fuck’s sake. Perhaps your imaginary factory workers could keep their eyes on the machinery lest they lose a limb, rather than eyeballing their imaginary colleagues. Ditto OP’s colleagues could bust a ball to do some work instead of staring at a 3.5” piece of plastic in her hand.

TryingPrettyHard · 11/03/2022 19:18

What the actual fuck? Who is offended by an unused sanitary towel??? Oh sexists.

CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark · 11/03/2022 19:18

I wouldn’t do it personally. But it’s equally not right for you to be pulled up on it as you’ve done nothing wrong.
Weird situation for everyone involved

ThreeRingCircus · 11/03/2022 19:18

I personally wouldn't carry a sanitary pad on show for the reasons that @ButtockUp said BUT how closely are these men watching you to actually notice what you're carrying and how weird must they be to actually raise this with a manager! To be fair I also blame your manager for even bringing this up with you.

Instafreak231 · 11/03/2022 19:18

I’m sorry but walking around the office with a sanitary towel is just weird. Why would you do that? It’s a private bodily function, how would you feel if a colleague kept on announcing they were about to do a poo?
Sorry I think it’s really weird to do this - and I think all the people up in arms on this thread need to just chill. Periods, pooing, shaving, waxing are all nothing to be ashamed of. But I would do them in private.

RagzRebooted · 11/03/2022 19:19

I know this is unpopular but actually I do agree a bit with this. It’s not professional- bit like going to the bathroom to freshen up at work holding your toothbrush. It’s sort of a bit sloppy looking. At home that’s fine.

It's unprofessional to brush your teeth at work? One of my colleagues does this, she doesn't even lock the door and the toilet she uses is in the hallway, I frequently walk in and find her brushing her teeth. We laugh about it. I actually thought it was such a good idea, that I brought my own toothbrush to work and keep it in my desk (I do shut the door when I use it though!) for days where I have something strong for lunch.

People have very funny ideas about 'acceptable behaviour' and generally it's women using them to police other women.

BeHappy91818 · 11/03/2022 19:20

@TheKeatingFive

The internalised misogyny on this thread is revolting
Because there’s no Misandry on this thread either….

But MN is full of man haters so no surprise really 😂

HelenMirrensWeightedBlanket · 11/03/2022 19:20

I love you. Please do this, OP

ofwarren · 11/03/2022 19:20

@Instafreak231

I’m sorry but walking around the office with a sanitary towel is just weird. Why would you do that? It’s a private bodily function, how would you feel if a colleague kept on announcing they were about to do a poo? Sorry I think it’s really weird to do this - and I think all the people up in arms on this thread need to just chill. Periods, pooing, shaving, waxing are all nothing to be ashamed of. But I would do them in private.

She didn't walk AROUND the office, she walked TO the toilets!
She didn't announce anything!

Dnaltocs · 11/03/2022 19:20

Surely this is made up. Does Mumsnet need this type of undignified following?
Why would anyone walk around a public area, with an obvious ST in their hand. No no no!!! Where is their self worth? Just because we can doesn’t mean we should.

This is just a step too far. We have dignity, well some don’t obs.

herecomesthehotsteppa · 11/03/2022 19:20

"Dear Manager
Cc:HR

Having reflected on our conversation regarding my colleagues discomfort whilst watching me walk towards the restroom with a clean sanitary towel in my hand I would like to suggest a way forward. A menstruation station complete with various types of sanitary protection should be made available in the female restroom, provided by and topped up by the company. This would ensure no colleagues will be subjected to seeing san pro outside of the restroom environment.

Love and other indoor sports,

OP"

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 11/03/2022 19:20

I think we really need to summon Maxi Padd, the Menstrual Menace to teach these dimdumbs a lesson.
I'll even do some artwork at some point.

Should I have a floophy white gown - or should it be red? White and reds a bit risky - I'll look like Ms Claus!

rwalker · 11/03/2022 19:21

Right or wrong as seen by the replies on here some people don't like it .

If I was doing something that other people didn't like I'd stop it .

Clymene · 11/03/2022 19:21

@MrsMcNally - do you think it's appropriate for colleagues to have sex at work?

Is it appropriate to have periods at work?

Oneofthosedreadfulparents · 11/03/2022 19:22

@Hugasauras

But why does knowing someone is on their period even matter? What difference does it make to you?

I understand if you don't want people to know you're on your period and that's your choice. But I don't understand caring about whether someone else is on their period or not Confused How does it affect you in any way? Does it change your interaction with another woman if you know there is blood currently coming from their uterus? I genuinely can't work it out.

Quite right. I have a member of staff who's menopausal. She's not embarrassed to tell me when she's having a shit day, because she knows it won't embarrass me. So we do what we can together to make her day easier. And everyone moves on happier. The more we normalise periods and menopause and cramps and bleeding, the less of an issue they become. I get that that is impossible for some people, but don't shame others for either not feeling that embarrassment, or wanting to make a positive difference.
AchillesHeelys · 11/03/2022 19:22

Tell them that you won’t need to carry any unsightly sanitary towels around anymore as you’ve decided to take up free bleeding.

tigger1001 · 11/03/2022 19:22

"Have some class about you. Not everyone needs to know you are on your period. We all know it happens but no need to inform everyone in the office."

Where in the op did she say she informed everyone in the office she was having a period?

She went to the bathroom to change her san pro. No announcing.

BeHappy91818 · 11/03/2022 19:23

@tigger1001

"Have some class about you. Not everyone needs to know you are on your period. We all know it happens but no need to inform everyone in the office."

Where in the op did she say she informed everyone in the office she was having a period?

She went to the bathroom to change her san pro. No announcing.

She didn’t need to verbally announce it considering people have eyes
WeKnowFrogsGoShaLaLaLaLa · 11/03/2022 19:23

In my school there are sanitary products in every classroom, visibly. They're in every office, available everywhere and this is exactly why - to normalise them!

theworstwife · 11/03/2022 19:23

Moving a sanitary towel to the toilet in my hand is not advertising anything, it’s not trying to make a statement, it’s not being indiscreet or undignified. It is moving a sanitary to where I need to use it for a normal bodily function for millions of women. So many of these comments are bonkers, why do you give a shit about other peoples periods? Also why would you care about other people knowing that you’re menstruating? Unless you think periods are dirty and shameful…

So many of these backwards comments are similar to women breastfeeding in public. Stupidly I thought we had moved forwards