Page 16 | I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

TinLeaf · 2022-03-11T17:25:06+00:00

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead. I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

lemmein · 11/03/2022 19:12

It’s not being prudish or sexist, if a bloke walked around visibly holding condoms I would be a bit not because I think sex is shameful but because I don’t want to think about my colleagues having sex, on the toilet etc.

You'd have a point if she was carrying a giant dildo to the loo!

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 19:12

Because sex is also a natural bodily function

And one that's totally different to menstruating 🙄

Here's an equivalent that might help you get it. Man goes to the loo, but knows that there's no loo roll there so he needs to bring some. Would you expect him to coyly put the loo roll in a bag?!?

LovedayCL · 11/03/2022 19:13

Because sex is also a natural bodily function?

No it’s not a bodily function. It’s a private act that you choose when to perform. It has zero to do with biological functions that women have no choice about. Come on…

ofwarren · 11/03/2022 19:13

@Oneofthosedreadfulparents

My son and girlfriend (mid teens) were discussing periods and the reproductive cycle in my car last week. Just a casual conversation, that had sprung up out of something else. It made me feel so thankful that they were able to have honest conversations, and hopeful that young women might have to cope with less stigma than my own generation.

Exactly. My teen DS has bought mine from the shop for me and my 2 younger DS see it on the shelf in the bathroom and know exactly what it's for.

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 19:13

Women are really their worst enemies.

They sure the fuck are

woodhill · 11/03/2022 19:13

@ButtockUp

I'm sorry, but being my age, I find this to be total nonsense. It's like you're saying "hey , check me out! I'm on my period!!!" There's absolutely no need. All men know that women bleed. Same as all women. Why would you want to advertise that you're on your period? Periods are normal. Why do you want to advertise that you're having one. It's like you're forcing a response. Do people waltz through the office with their incontinence pads ? Do people stroll through a factory floor with a spare stoma bag? Do diabetics waft through a shop floor waving a syringe?

These things are personal. Personal to each of us.
These are normal things but they're personal to us.
Carry on wafting your pads but expect to be pulled up on it.

Yes

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/03/2022 19:13

@dementedma

On this, our business is over two floors with toilets on both floors. Only the downstairs loo has a sanitary bin. I think this is wrong. Women working on the upstairs floor have to either put stuff in the paper towel bin, carry used sanitary wear downstairs, or put it in your pocket/bag. I was told the company just needs to provide a bin somewhere in the building, not in every loo. Who is right?

No idea of the legalities. This is disgusting. The bins need to be in a readily accessible place. How is this readily accessible if a woman has to go downstairs each time to change her sanitary towel to access the bin? Some women need to change every hour.

Bunnyfuller · 11/03/2022 19:14

The 1950s are alive and kicking on MN tonight 😂😂😂🙈

BeHappy91818 · 11/03/2022 19:14

@Clymene

The reason some posters think the OP is unreasonable is because they're ashamed.

Ridiculous comment. I’m not ashamed of having a period and I have no hang ups about it but I just don’t need to let everyone know every time I’m on.

Metabigot · 11/03/2022 19:14

I was told off for this in a job 15 years ago by a female boss.

Ridiculous then, Ridiculous now

TheKeatingFive · 11/03/2022 19:14

The internalised misogyny on this thread is revolting

SexyLittleNosferatu · 11/03/2022 19:14

@blueberryporridge

Have a bit of decorum and be a bit more discrete.

Grow up. Just grow the fuck up. I despise misogyny but nothing is more depressing than when it comes from women. Decorum can get to fuck.

Hugasauras · 11/03/2022 19:15

But why does knowing someone is on their period even matter? What difference does it make to you?

I understand if you don't want people to know you're on your period and that's your choice. But I don't understand caring about whether someone else is on their period or not How does it affect you in any way? Does it change your interaction with another woman if you know there is blood currently coming from their uterus? I genuinely can't work it out.

Thecommentsmakemechuckle · 11/03/2022 19:15

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

This is truly magnificent wordsmithery 👏🏻

SexyLittleNosferatu · 11/03/2022 19:16

@TheKeatingFive

The internalised misogyny on this thread is revolting

It's awful isn't it.

EveryCloudIsGrey · 11/03/2022 19:16

I find this situation very unlikely. I wonder if the OP is being pranked by her colleagues. Otherwise it just seems too odd that there are 3 men in an office who would care enough to think this was something to complain about.

The only other scenario where it might add up would be if the OP were literally waving about an unwrapped sanitary towel and was trying to wind them up.

What type of workplace do,you work in OP

What are the chances this will be in the Daily Fail. 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

lemmein · 11/03/2022 19:16

@ButtockUp

I'm sorry, but being my age, I find this to be total nonsense. It's like you're saying "hey , check me out! I'm on my period!!!" There's absolutely no need. All men know that women bleed. Same as all women. Why would you want to advertise that you're on your period? Periods are normal. Why do you want to advertise that you're having one. It's like you're forcing a response. Do people waltz through the office with their incontinence pads ? Do people stroll through a factory floor with a spare stoma bag? Do diabetics waft through a shop floor waving a syringe?

These things are personal. Personal to each of us.
These are normal things but they're personal to us.
Carry on wafting your pads but expect to be pulled up on it.

Why are you using the word 'wafting'? If it's so offensive to carry sanpro in your hand to the toilet why are you needing to exaggerate to express that? There is nothing in the OPs post suggesting she was 'wafting' anything

tigger1001 · 11/03/2022 19:16

@Clymene

Keeping periods private and pretending they don't happen is one of the reason women are discriminated against in the workplace. We are affected by our periods. They can affect our mood, can mean we're in pain, are tired or not quite as sharp as normal.

At a time when organisations are finally waking up to the impact that the menopause has on women, it's profoundly depressing that menstruating women are supposed to be discreet.

A period is not 'going to the toilet' either.

100% this!!

People were always hiding menopause as well and suffering silently. You still read about it on here where women don't want to bother the doctor as it's "natural" and just suffer.

Lots of companies are actively doing menopause training. Wonder what the poor menfolk who get offended at the thought of a woman having a period think to that?

DinaofCloud9 · 11/03/2022 19:16

Hmm I'm really surprised by the comments. I've never seen anyone walking through the office carrying a sanitary towel.

My initial reaction was to think keep it private I don't particularly want to know if someone has their period and I don't want them knowing I have mine. Now I'm wondering why I feel like that.

Flawedperfection · 11/03/2022 19:16

Unless it’s a heavily soiled one (hygiene!) I can’t imagine who’d have a problem with you carrying around as many sanitary towels as you like!

You should line them up on your desk without packaging, OP- say they’re from the zero waste bulk store. That’d show ‘em. Bloody men, eh?

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 11/03/2022 19:16

I'd lodge a complaint with HR. Especially against your manager who should be defending your right to carry sanitary products to the bathroom. As a senior member of staff, they should know better.

It may seem overkill but it's ridiculous that they've raised this and they need to learn that it's inappropriate.

ivykaty44 · 11/03/2022 19:17

Same as carrying loo roll, surely? Utter bonkers.

^^this

put in a complaint

ofwarren · 11/03/2022 19:17

@ButtockUp

I'm sorry, but being my age, I find this to be total nonsense. It's like you're saying "hey , check me out! I'm on my period!!!" There's absolutely no need. All men know that women bleed. Same as all women. Why would you want to advertise that you're on your period? Periods are normal. Why do you want to advertise that you're having one. It's like you're forcing a response. Do people waltz through the office with their incontinence pads ? Do people stroll through a factory floor with a spare stoma bag? Do diabetics waft through a shop floor waving a syringe?

These things are personal. Personal to each of us.
These are normal things but they're personal to us.
Carry on wafting your pads but expect to be pulled up on it.

This is a bit ableist to be honest.
Are you saying incontinent people, people with stomas and diabetics should hide their medical equipment?
Where does that stop? My son had an enteral tube for years, should he have worn a balaclava to cover it up? Only used his feed at home?
I bet you are one of those who are disgusting by breastfeeding in public.

D0lphine · 11/03/2022 19:17

Hi manager. I've been thinking about what you have said in my previous meeting.

As you know periods are natural for a woman my age and aren't something I'm ashamed of. I therefor don't see my holding a pad on the way to the loo is not inappropriate.

Holding a tissue to blow my nose would be perfectly acceptable; it is a hygiene product to assist with a normal human function. Holding a sanitary towel is just the same.

My suggestion is that the men who complained attend some diversity training to understand period stigma and address their evident gender bias.

Teastheword · 11/03/2022 19:17

@BunPunch

Wow. 14% voted YaBu?? Women are really their worst enemies.

I am discreet (use a special purse) but have thought bringing a bag makes it even more obvious!

My office now puts free emergency sanitary towels and tampons in the toilets - request that.

But if it's a special purse for pads won't people see the special purse and realise you keep pads in it? So you need to put it in a non-, special bag really. Although people might wonder why you keep taking your bags to the loos.....