I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

@GreenWheat

Personally I think it's rather akin to announcing you're just off for a poo. TMI for the office and discretion is better for all office toilet trips.

I agree. There’s absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about periods but I also wouldn’t walk across the office visibly carrying a loo roll, a deodorant, waxing strips…any number of personal care items. I’d shove them in a pocket, bag, or up my sleeve. Because for me personally I think it’s absolutely reasonable to have some boundaries around what’s appropriate, particularly in a workplace.

It’s not being prudish or sexist, if a bloke walked around visibly holding condoms I would be a bit not because I think sex is shameful but because I don’t want to think about my colleagues having sex, on the toilet etc.

I absolutely recognise that going by this thread I’m in the minority though, but that’s how I feel.

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

Have a bit of decorum and be a bit more discrete.

Has anyone, ever, in the history of the world said this to a man? 😂

@JohnMcCainsDeathStare

I've even thought of a drag name if you really want to glam it up - Maxi Padd! Fabulous and free-flowin' .............it's MAXI PADD!!

I let you have that for free!

Ha! That might be the first drag idea I’ve found funny

@DowntonCrabby

What a load of sexist shite, she should be ashamed of herself and the disservice she’s doing to feminism.

I’d be emailing her asking her to clarify the issue and cc HR in.

I would also do this. Highly inappropriate

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the level of disingenuousness on this thread is off the scale.

@Blossomtoes

Be careful though it could reduce the strength of arguments for single sex toilets as women are very comfortable with men knowing they are having a period.

Exactly that. Every argument I’ve ever seen for retaining single sex loos has included privacy for menstruating women yet it seems that 86% of women couldn’t care less.

I don’t think the two are remotely similar. Let’s face it the majority of ‘gender neutral’ loos if MN is anything to go by do not meet the standards of floor length doors with individual sinks… not that I want to share these with men either.

So in the traditional rows of cubicles, I want privacy as I don’t want men to hear me ripping off the pad and disposing of it, finding there’s no bin in my cubicle, watching me cleaning blood off my hands and clothes or hearing me perform any bodily function actually.

Can anyone please tell me why seeing a woman with a pad in her hand makes men "uncomfortable"! What about it could possibly make them feel uncomfortable?

It’s not being prudish or sexist, if a bloke walked around visibly holding condoms I would be a bit confused not because I think sex is shameful but because I don’t want to think about my colleagues having sex

Why are you comparing this to sex?

@DixonD

I actually think YABU.

Periods are gross (I know, I have them), and personal, so I think that sort of thing should be kept private. I wouldn’t want to be aware when others are on their period in the office either. Nobody needs or wants to know this.

Sorry OP, I’ve had periods for nearly 30 years but I wouldn’t appreciate this in the office. I hide mine up my sleeve 😁

For fucks sake are you 14? , periods are not gross, they are a natural bodily function, the same as having a shit or taking a piss.

When someone gets up to go to the loo, do you think about them taking a piss? No, well it's exactly the same for a woman having her period.

There should be no issue with a grown woman walking across the office with a sanitary towel in her hand. Hide it up your sleeve? Behave

Women have been shamed for centuries because of their periods, language like dirty, gross, unclean, and filthy is used to describe them. Girls are still dying in period huts today. Women and girls are treated differently because of their periods in certain religions today.

Do you know what I find gross @DixonD? Period shaming and backwards views like yours

PMSL at the suggestion to put it in an A4 envelope What kind of job have we done on women where taking a fake envelope as a prop into the loo is preferable to just carrying a wrapped and unused sanitary pad?

I really hope people are bringing up their daughters with a lot less shame around menstruation nowadays, and their sons to not give a second thought about a perfectly normal bodily function.

I would hate unisex loos

@blueberryporridge

Have a bit of decorum and be a bit more discrete.

How about the men have a "bit of decorum" and stop staring at a woman on her way to the bathroom!
It's discreet btw

The reason some posters think the OP is unreasonable is because they're ashamed.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the level of disingenuousness on this thread is off the scale.

I blame Jesus and Joseph trying to insist Mary was so immaculate when she clearly would have been having periods like the rest of us.

"agree. Periods are natural and of course we shouldn't be ashamed but that doesn't mean that other people want to know we're on one. It's only good manners to be discreet, especially if there's men around and it makes them uncomfortable. We don't want to know about their prostates and hairy bollix and stuff, do we? So, we should show them a bit of consideration too. It works both ways!"

Think of the poor men!!

Seriously if a man can't cope with seeing someone walk to the bathroom at work he has issues.

He's not seeing her change it. What's the difference of going to the toilet when having a period and not?

I unfortunately work near the male toilet -they are not discrete about doing a poo. And have zero thought to clean up/spray air freshener after themselves.

Are men so delicate that they cannot cope with knowing a woman might be on her period? What would they do if she floods while at work and they see blood on her clothes or on her chair? I can only imagine, seeing as they get so offended at the thought of her changing her san pro.

My son and girlfriend (mid teens) were discussing periods and the reproductive cycle in my car last week. Just a casual conversation, that had sprung up out of something else. It made me feel so thankful that they were able to have honest conversations, and hopeful that young women might have to cope with less stigma than my own generation.

@TheKeatingFive

I agree.

So what do you think there is to be said for 'being discreet'

Have some class about you. Not everyone needs to know you are on your period. We all know it happens but no need to inform everyone in the office.

During that ‘special time’ you should wear a red dress, preferably with some sort of slogan such as ‘unclean - perioding’. Do not carry you Sandro in your hand, instead have a large, shopping type bag, with a healthy variety of different varieties of tampons,liners, cups, tenalady and anything else you fancy (pampers). Make sure it is overfilled, and run to the loo, halter skelter through the office. Hopefully scattering fluffy white objects behind you. If you can manage once an hour, and mutter loudly ‘sorry, it’s like a fucking car wreck down there, like a scene from SAW’ and roll your eyes.

@stuntbubbles your reply made me laugh for about 5 minutes. The mooncups 😂😂😂😂😂

@Clymene

The reason some posters think the OP is unreasonable is because they're ashamed.

Yes and by having the temerity to not fully hide that she menstruates she’s ruining it for the rest of us and those poor men!

@TheKeatingFive

It’s not being prudish or sexist, if a bloke walked around visibly holding condoms I would be a bit confused not because I think sex is shameful but because I don’t want to think about my colleagues having sex

Why are you comparing this to sex?

Because sex is also a natural bodily function?

It’s not being prudish or sexist, if a bloke walked around visibly holding condoms I would be a bit confused not because I think sex is shameful but because I don’t want to think about my colleagues having sex, on the toilet etc

But they don't need to use those condoms in the office. And they have control over when they use them

@SparkleSpangle

While I think it is ridiculous anyone complained. There is something to be said for being discreet. Obviously you are going to have a period but do you need to let everyone know. Just put it in your pocket.

This!

I'm sorry, but being my age, I find this to be total nonsense.
It's like you're saying
"hey , check me out! I'm on my period!!!"
There's absolutely no need.
All men know that women bleed. Same as all women.
Why would you want to advertise that you're on your period? Periods are normal. Why do you want to advertise that you're having one.
It's like you're forcing a response.
Do people waltz through the office with their incontinence pads ?
Do people stroll through a factory floor with a spare stoma bag?
Do diabetics waft through a shop floor waving a syringe?

These things are personal. Personal to each of us.
These are normal things but they're personal to us.
Carry on wafting your pads but expect to be pulled up on it.

Wow. 14% voted YaBu?? Women are really their worst enemies.

I am discreet (use a special purse) but have thought bringing a bag makes it even more obvious!

My office now puts free emergency sanitary towels and tampons in the toilets - request that.