I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

I would send everyone a link to the new ad, where 3 young girls are period-shamed, by their father, brother and male school fellow.

There is absolutely NO reason that you can't put it in your bag or a washbag, none whatsoever.

You're making assumptions that everyone has a bag or washbag in the office.

The sight of unused sanpro isn't offensive.

@mbosnz

Um, did I miss where the OP bellowed to the room 'I'm off to the loo to change me pad now! I'm on my rag, yeah?!' She also hasn't squatted in the middle of the office (or indeed in the loo block) and changed her pad there. . .

Gloriously this has reminded me of the office manager I used to know who’d loudly announce “Off to wet me lettuce” every time she went for a wee.

Why can’t you be discreet with your towel ? There’s millions of women in the world and it’s not common to see a woman walking around with a sanitary towel . Ok May you don’t have pockets or a handbag so try an A4 envelope

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I'm sorry I disagree completely - its not professional at work at all, I don't want to see workers of ANY sex carrying personal hygiene items across the office in full view of everyone. Its the office you're not at home. There is absolutely NO reason that you can't put it in your bag or a washbag, none whatsoever. I really do think people have forgotten how to behave in public. Would you peel your top off in the office and change it for another one in view of everyone ff's.

I know this is unpopular but actually I do agree a bit with this. It’s not professional- bit like going to the bathroom to freshen up at work holding your toothbrush. It’s sort of a bit sloppy looking. At home that’s fine. However I don’t think it can actually be something for a manager to tell you off about

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I'm sorry I disagree completely - its not professional at work at all, I don't want to see workers of ANY sex carrying personal hygiene items across the office in full view of everyone. Its the office you're not at home. There is absolutely NO reason that you can't put it in your bag or a washbag, none whatsoever. I really do think people have forgotten how to behave in public. Would you peel your top off in the office and change it for another one in view of everyone ff's.

Get a grip. Walking across an office with a small packet in your hand is hardly unprofessional.

Women have periods. Big deal.

@yesterdayisgone

Why can’t you be discreet with your towel ? There’s millions of women in the world and it’s not common to see a woman walking around with a sanitary towel . Ok May you don’t have pockets or a handbag so try an A4 envelope

An A4 envelope? Are you for real?

@woodhill

Why don't you keep it in your bag.

I'm from the generation where it was more taboo and prefer some discretion

On what planet is it discretion to take a handbag from your desk to the loo? It's obvious why you're doing it and a handbag is bigger than a sanitary towel.

I too am from a generation where women were made to feel ashamed about their period but I honestly dgaf now.

Would you peel your top off in the office and change it for another one in view of everyone ff's.
That’s not equivalent at all. The equivalent would be carrying a spare top across the office and changing it privately in the loos. Which I expect most people would. I think you’re thinking of a comparison to someone changing a tampon at their desk, which isn’t the issue here. HTH!

Be careful though it could reduce the strength of arguments for single sex toilets as women are very comfortable with men knowing they are having a period.

Exactly that. Every argument I’ve ever seen for retaining single sex loos has included privacy for menstruating women yet it seems that 86% of women couldn’t care less.

@saraclara

Obviously it's a ridiculous complaint, but it's made me realise that in 40 year working life, I've never ever seen a colleague carrying a sanitary towel in her hand. And virtually all my colleagues were female.

Does anyone here, other than the OP, do so at work?

That’s because in those 40 years, you haven’t been checking to see why your colleagues are going to the loo, not like OP’s nosy colleagues. If they minded their own, they wouldn’t see the ‘offending’ san pro.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

It's not professional? Are you having a laugh?
And what personal hygiene items do men carry?
There's absolutely NO reason she can't carry it across the office in her hand!!!
Comparing someone peeling their top off to someone being on their period is ridiculous and you are basically shaming your own gender and have very warped views.

@yesterdayisgone

Why can’t you be discreet with your towel ? There’s millions of women in the world and it’s not common to see a woman walking around with a sanitary towel . Ok May you don’t have pockets or a handbag so try an A4 envelope

Should we write a fake address on the envelope just to make completely sure people are thrown off the scent?

I guess an envelope with an address window needs to be avoided too?

Honestly get evidence and take them to a tribunal. Ask your manager if she can email you the request as you are not quite sure you understand the issue or what she is asking if you! Or send her a confirmation email that reads as per our discussion… so there’s a written chain and then escalate. Totally incompetent management that should never have raised this and should have corrected the original complainant actually! Can’t believe people are so out of order!

Ok May you don’t have pockets or a handbag so try an A4 envelope

What do you think will happen if people see sanpro in the office?

I'm so shocked by that, and by some responses on here!! It's not unprofessional or inappropriate for an office. You'd walk across the room holding toilet roll to blow your nose, a plaster to cover an injury and all manner of things. Why not a tampon or pad?

I'm assuming you didn't go akimbo and insert in the middle of the office? 🙄

When I need to change my sanitary products at work, I just take them to the toilet with me. Why all this secrecy?! It annoys the hell out of me, I'm not ashamed of being a woman, of having periods and I'm damn well sure they'd rather see you cross a room holding a towel than blobbing around on the office furniture without one.

@yesterdayisgone

Why can’t you be discreet with your towel ? There’s millions of women in the world and it’s not common to see a woman walking around with a sanitary towel . Ok May you don’t have pockets or a handbag so try an A4 envelope

Are you taking the piss? Put a plastic wrapped clean bit of cotton into an envelope and take that to the toilet rather than the plastic wrapped clean bit of cotton?

Some of you are unbelievable.

You sound like a bit of an attention seeker.

Exactly that. Every argument I’ve ever seen for retaining single sex loos has included privacy for menstruating women yet it seems that 86% of women couldn’t care less

Holding a wrapped pad in your hand where no one should even notice you are holding it is much different to having to change it and clean up , fimd a bin to dispose of the old one and wash any blood off your hands

I know this is unpopular but actually I do agree a bit with this. It’s not professional- bit like going to the bathroom to freshen up at work holding your toothbrush. It’s sort of a bit sloppy looking. At home that’s fine. However I don’t think it can actually be something for a manager to tell you off about

People at my office do this all the time - I would rather they did to be honest as after lunch meetings can be painful otherwise. Never occurred to me to complain to their managers (as you say).

Gloriously this has reminded me of the office manager I used to know who’d loudly announce “Off to wet me lettuce” every time she went for a wee.

That is indeed glorious!

Personally, when i'm at work, I'm rather focussed on - my work-. Not my colleagues and what might be in their hands when they go to the bog.

I almost always take my handbag with me to the toilet. Am I the only one?

Obviously the manager is an idiot and the men are ridiculous. Still, I’ve never seen this and I’ll never do it.

@Aozora13

I had a (male) colleague who would take a paperback to the loo with him and no one felt compelled to mention it to his boss. Perhaps you could suggest they focus on their work rather than scrutinising what their colleagues are carrying to the toilet, especially if they’re upset by the sight of san pro.

As an aside, because of lockdown I didn’t get a chance to clear out my pedestal before going on mat leave and I’m sure my male mat cover will be delighted to be so well stocked with tampons…

There's used to be a guy in our office who would fo through people's desk drawers looking for biscuits or sweets. I always put tampons on top of mine... they were never stolen

I assume it must have been a used sanitary towel if it has caused that level of offence? And in that case you are completely unreasonable!!!

There is absolutely no way anyone would be offended by an unused sanitary product…surely?!