To not push my child in to sport

[Backtothefutureagain]

Ds is just about to turn 6
He goes to a swimming class once a week
We tried him with football when he was 4-5yo and he enjoyed it for a month or so as he was with his friends but suddenly he didn’t want to go any more and he is still adamant he doesn’t like football, no interest when it’s on tv or if dh says let’s go and play football etc
Ds has become really in to his gaming, wanting to play on the switch a lot (was Dh’s console) which we allow with time constraints
My dh is concerned hes going to be a “gamer” rather than out playing sports with his friends. He’s always trying to suggest different sports clubs to ds and feels like we’ve somehow failed him!! I keep trying to reiterate to dh that ds is only 5 and there’s plenty of time for him to find sports he enjoys but if he isn’t in to sport I’m not really that bothered. AIBU in my opinion?
We try to keep him otherwise active, go out to the park etc when we can and he’s forever running around.

I think sport is good for kids, Exercise, friendship, teaches them to lose gracefully and how to work in a team etc.

Having said that, I was never sporty and I'm still not now. I game but I'm sociable, I'm a healthy weight and I have a lot of friendships through gaming.

At 5, there's still plenty of time to do both, Change preference or even end up doing something completely different.

I wouldn't worry

How about trying something like Beavers?
Lots of fun outdoors, crafts, games, camping etc but not sporty as such.

My eldest sounds similar to your DS. We've now settled on swimming and Cubs.
He is starting to take an interest in football now though as his peer group all play so you might find that things change as he gets older.

He just needs to find a sport he enjoys, even if it's an unusual one. I tried my daughter in countless sports (athletics, swimming, dance, figure skating etc etc) and the ones she actually truly loved were rock climbing and horse riding. Unfortunately we had to give up the rock climbing because of time constraints, but she is still massively into equestrian sports, now has her own pony that she competes on and rides every day after school and every weekend. It's nice for kids to have a sports hobby. It just might br an unusual (and in our case very expensive 😒) sport

I don't think you need to be pushing him into a sport, but having outside interests and activities is useful for physical, mental and emotional development. And while I have a fairly casual attitude to the use of consoles compared to many people, I wouldn't want a 5 year old spending the bulk of their time gaming.

Activities that are popular around here include:

Rugby, football, tennis, swimming, karate/martial arts, cubs/beavers/guides, yoga, tech classes, dance, gymnastics, parkour. Local gyms do various kids groups and activities that are usually a mix of sport stuff and just hanging around drawing pictures.

If he's out and about doing stuff, going to parks and other places, moving regularly and has friends, I wouldn't be rushing to get him into other things if he's happy. But it really is about a balance.

I couldve written this myself although hes never liked football. He loves gaming too. He has swimming lessons and seems to enjoy it and I've just started him at cubs but he isnt that bothered with that either.
He had a taster session of karate and liked that then the price went up and sadly I cant afford to send him. I think hed like gymnastics but again it costs a fortune

Your son swims, no doubt rides a bike or will, why worry about sport? Not everyone is into sport and to try and force it is inhumane. He'll find things that interest him and that he is good at as time goes on.

It never bothered me because neither me nor my husband were keen on sport (though husband liked motor sport). My son didn't care but he was excellent at music and science/technology. He is also quite fit; walks, swims and cycles when he has time.

You can't fit a square peg into a round hole so relax, or rather, tell your husband to relax. It really doesn't matter in the scheme of things (unless you are a PE teacher :-) ).

Does your DH participate in sports as an adult? Do you keep active?

The thing is, sports are good for DC, and there is a bit of an element of having to push through some reluctance to get better and it therefore be more enjoyable if you’re not naturally gifted. But no child should be forced into something either.

My DC are not terrifically sporty but they do active hobbies and that is a priority to me. My DH and I aren’t naturally sporty, and I see that it’s a disadvantage to my DC because if we were more of the kickabout a footie in the park sorts then our DC would be better at football, or if we practised tennis with them or whatever. As it is we encourage their active activities and we each do something active ourselves to keep fit - but I know if we did more they would do more. Children learn by what we show them is important and enjoyable.

Keep offering lots of choice. It’s not all about football - there’s martial arts, climbing, Park Run, dance, you name it.

There are ways to be active other than sport, as long as he's getting exercise and fresh air I don't think it really matters.

You have either a team sport (the usual suspects) or a more individual sport like martial arts, dance, fencing,......

Sports are good. "Gamer" is not a sport 🤷🏻‍♀️ nothing wrong with it but you can't compare apples with hammers!

I think it's fine not to necessarily be sporty but I don't think he should be gaming. I never allowed my ds a console during his primary school years. If they have one, it always becomes their first choice as an activity.

I do think 5 is way too young for computer games. He should be playing with toys

I think 5 is too young for gaming, too.

I personally would remove all gaming consoles from the home. It’s a bad habit that will only get worse the longer you facilitate it. He’s 6. He’ll get over it.

yabu
imo children should do one structured sport and one art activity per week.

there are lots of different sports about - go to taster lessons.

Hard to vote on this!

5 is a bit young for computer games/ sustained screen time full stop. He does need to be out and about doing physical activity and getting fresh air.

It doesn’t need to be sport as such - doesn’t need to be a competitive or team sport. What about something like climbing? That’s got a “puzzle” element that he might enjoy. Or anything really that’s not looking at a screen (like I’m doing now!)

I don't think you should push him into anything but I wouldn't have a 5 year old playing consoles. They are addictive and there will be plenty of time for them after enjoying childhood.

Or something like kung fu/ a martial art

Sports is good for children, studies have found that children who participate in sports do better academically and also have better discipline, plus social skills and health benefits.

I don’t believe he should be gaming at 5 years of age.

My 10yo did rugby for a year, athletics for a year, tried judo and aikido. Stopped them all.

He loves swimming, but is skinny and finds changing too cold in winter (can't say I blame him) plus with long hair it's horrible getting home and you can't use a hairdryer at the pool due to covid (not sure the men's has sockets in the changing room, plus teasing...). But, he'll continue with classes after Easter in time for summer and going to the beach (we're in a hot country). Just once a week after school.

He loves his bike and skateboard, although he hasn't quite got the hang of it. And he loves running around the park with mates, beach with the dog, and hiking with the dog - partly cos he likes finding sticks shaped like guns, sitting on a tree stump to eat his packed lunch and wild peeing

So he gets plenty of exercise.

He hates football, always has. Has an interest in basketball, but doesn't want to practise he's not a fan of ball games, tbh. He did love athletics, but since they've gone back after lockdown, there are no competitions for his age group so his motivation has gone. Yes, still 2 years later.

He's just tried sailing with school and loved it, so again we can try with this after Easter, or perhaps a summer club.

He bloody loves horses (and donkeys!) but that's waaaaaaay out of our price range. Again, maybe a summer thing for a month.

He's on the waiting list to go to scouts in September.

At age 5 your ds has got plenty of time to try new things.

You might find when he gets to 9 or 10 he gets into football. From seeing my DC's classmates, I'd say that's the age a lot of boys seem to get football obsessed. My Ds wasn't hugely keen on football at 5 but was mad about by the end of primary school. He's nearly 14 and plays three times a week now. It's been such a positive part of his life

I think gaming and sport can be interests of the same person but you can't force a child to do something they have no interest in.

My son started swimming lessons aged 6, primarily because I have reduced eyesight and he wanted to go swimming and I was afraid I couldn't see him. But he loves it so much he goes to lessons weekly now for 5 years.

He has no interest in a swim club or competing even though he is a very high standard. He doesn't like any team or competitive sports.

He's just started a martial art class after a coach gave demonstration at his school. I said sure you can go along for a trial. I didn't give any encouragement really, it's what he wants. I was surprised really.

Outside of these sports he and his friends are mad on gaming. I'm so sick of Roblox. But he plays with friends, he is active in his own interests and he does his homework and joins in family activities when I say.

I don't think 6 is too young for gaming, my son started playing wii sports and Lego video games at that age. Strict time limits are what needed at all ages and other interests will come with time and exposure (friends doing it etc)

It's not essential for a child to enjoy / be good at sports, but 6yo seems very early to give up on the idea and accept that he's more into gaming than sports. There are lots of sports other than football to try.

I don't think you should push him to excel at sport, but I do think you should limit screen time (strictly, at his age) and push him to participate and try a range of sports.

If he doesn't like football, he can try tennis or mini athletics. Can he ride a bike? Then get him out with a few friends riding bikes. If he's competitive get him into junior parkrun - he can check the results online and see how his performance improves when he does it every week. There is literally something for everyone and he will be out in the real world being active and gaining social skills.

Games are designed to be addictive and my DS would always choose them over other activities, even though he loves those activities. It is frightening how strong the pull is, but as a parent you have to say "No."

As long as he can ride a bike safely and reasonably well I wouldn't worry about anything more structured , on top of swimming, if he is not keen.
As long as he can do both of those he won't miss out on time with friends through primary and secondary.

None of mine were really into sports, and definitely not football or rugby. They did enjoy karate when they were younger, and one of them does fencing now as a teen.

They all went through all sections of Scouting though, which was great for getting them active and out and about.