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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not give my DD a tablet when she’s two?

112 replies

Sparkles8912 · 11/03/2022 07:31

My DD is 21 months old and doesn’t yet have a tablet for watching shows/ playing games etc. I’m being made to feel a bit of the odd one out by friends and family whose little ones seem to be on a tablet all day. We’re constantly told how clever my nephew (similar age) is for being able to play games etc on his tablet and how much he learns with it and friends have said similar about their DC.

I really wanted to keep screen time to a minimum and not give her a tablet until she’s a fair bit older but now wondering if I’m being unreasonable and depriving her, so considering one for her second birthday.

OP posts:

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/03/2022 07:34

They have their uses, but not necessary at that age. And mine was 3.5 when she got hers, which is also young!

Lazypuppy · 11/03/2022 07:38

Its not a choice between no screen time and on a tablet 24/7, there is a range. My DD has had one since she was 2, and its great for kids games and her tv shows so i don't have to watch them and can watch my tv for a change! She only normally has it in the evenings before bed and on the weekend days here and there if we are having a day at home. Its easy to limit, but theres no need for them to have it at 2yo.

Remember with all the technology, this is the kids world they will be living in and they will need to learn how to use all these things at some point

Thejoyfulstar · 11/03/2022 07:40

People who work in big tech apparently don't give their kids devices because they know how damaging they can be. My kids get to use them the odd time but they are a last resort. When mine were younger I would pack a bag with little toys like cars, figures, duplo etc and a notebook and crayons of we ever went anywhere. I would rather leave that brain space free to develop creativity, hand eye coordination, early writing skills etc than have them hooked into a game that engages their brain in a very different way. I'm a big believer in letting children get bored so they have to find creative solutions to ease their boredom. The ipad does come out in certain circumstances but its not our first port of call. I'm an Early Years teacher by the way and value these early skills in children far more than how well a young child can play a game on a phone.

HistoricMoment · 11/03/2022 07:46

My eldest is 7 and doesn't have a tablet, no intention of getting one either. Of course a tablet can be educational but it encourages being sedentary, is bad for eye development etc., and doesn't teach them anything they can't learn from traditional play, books, playgrounds etc. As for learning to use technology - they'll learn that anyway. I grew up without a tablet, smartphone and computer and have no trouble using them!
I also don't want another screen to battle over. There's always whining when I turn off the TV.

Letsbekindplease · 11/03/2022 07:48

My nearly 3 year old doesn’t have one and I don’t know if I want him to have one. He isn’t getting one any times soon that’s for sure
We watch a lot of telly when we’re in the house, it’s always on but we usually are playing on the floor so he’s not watching it constantly. When we go out we keep him busy by speaking to him or go long walks so he doesn’t need one. I think on one occasion he had my phone to watch something but that was just to keep him still to eat his meal.

He plays on my phone but it’s only to look at pictures that I have.

Nothing worse than seeing kids sitting on a tablet not speaking to anyone. My niece and nephew are like this. Can’t get a conversation out of them and when my boy wants to play they aren’t interested.

stuntbubbles · 11/03/2022 07:50

I barely even know what a tablet is! 3yo doesn’t have one. Can’t think of any child I know who has a device.

EdgeOfACoin · 11/03/2022 07:50

It takes about 5 seconds to learn how to use a tablet. No child is going to be deprived if they don't use a tablet at 2. At that age children are better off improving their motor skills.

The World Health Organisation recommends no screen time at all until the age of 2, and very strict limits thereafter.

Ikeptgoing · 11/03/2022 07:50

You can parent how you chose to OP. And if that is no tablet devices for your 2 year old that's a legitimise parenting choice . Don't let anyone criticise something you have thought through , just reply that you have made a different parenting decision and it's up to each of you to decide for your own children what is best for them.

I have older DCs and I think 2 years old is too young for playing games on a tablet. My DCs were allowed to use line for very limited time from primary school age. And got their own phones from secondary school age.

Even then it's blipping difficult to get them off their phones or tablets. I regret not having rules of limits to smartphone /tablet use as they grew and not having a rule that remained that phones charge downstairs from near bedtime/ overnight until were 17! Take a top tip from an older mum!!

Darbs76 · 11/03/2022 07:52

I really wouldn’t. My kids are 18 & 14 so they missed the tablet craze at a young age. Eldest didn’t get a phone until 11 whereas really young kids have them now. There’s plenty more educational games etc without needing screen time. This is the first generation being glued to screens (and some parents impose no screen time limits on young kids) so we are yet to see how it pans out over their lifetime and any effect it can have, I guess either negatively or postively

Joinedforthis22 · 11/03/2022 07:53

We’re constantly told how clever my nephew (similar age) is for being able to play games etc on his tablet and how much he learns with it and friends have said similar about their DC.

I always think parents say this to relieve the guilt that basically it's letting a screen parent your child.

Your child will not be at a disadvantage for not having a tablet, they are super easy to use, none of us had tablets when we were little and yet here we are on our smart phones etc.

I think screens have their place and I've used my phone as a distraction for my toddler but I don't pretend it's good for her, it's just easy for me!

Momicrone · 11/03/2022 07:54

None of my kids have their own tablet

Footnote · 11/03/2022 07:55

My nearly 5 year old doesn’t have one and I don’t give her mine. I would if we took a flight, otherwise no. I brought mine for her when she was in hospital recently but never took it out of the bag as she was happy colouring. I don’t suppose she would be happy colouring and reading in restaurants etc if I regularly gave her the tablet.
I first got a tablet aged 30 and I’ve learned to use it just fine. There aren’t many skills involved in being a user of these devices. People seem to be carrying that over from the 80s and 90s when you needed more skills to use computers, but now they are idiot proof.

SelfIdentifiedRightsHoarder · 11/03/2022 07:58

Personally I wouldn't at such a young age. I'm not against screen time, my daughter will watch TV while I'm cleaning or cooking dinner sometimes. She's been unwell this week so she's had a lot more time watching TV than normal. But when we are at home she will happily play independently with her toys, drawing, building blocks etc, but whenever I take her to a friend's house (2 sons, both have tablets) all 3 of them just sit there staring at the tablets or fighting over them and she cries when it's time to put it away for food or because we are leaving. Doesn't seem healthy to me

LairyMaclary · 11/03/2022 07:58

Not at all. My two year old is in hospital regularly due to repeated bouts of viral induced wheeze. She has a‘hospital tablet’ with Disney + , some interactive books and a colouring app on it, because convincing her she needs to stay on a bed with oxygen up her nose is otherwise very tricky. She has no access to it otherwise.

OfstedOffred · 11/03/2022 07:59

My children won't be getting tablets of their own until at least secondary school. I allow them to use mine occasionally (long car journeys etc). Eldest is now 5 and occasionally uses it for phonics & maths games school recommend.

Tablets are primarily for consumption of media, they require minimal skills and children can acquire those skills more productively elsewhere.

LoganberryJam · 11/03/2022 07:59

The less screen time the better for a child under 3 IMO.

popwithit · 11/03/2022 08:02

If you don't ' need ' it yet. Don't use it and don't let anyone guilt you into using it. Wait as long as you can I reckon.

My two year old has way too much time on the tablet. It's not her tablet, it's mine. But I wish she didn't. I'm exhausted and ill a lot, so it sometimes ends up being the only option. She does learn a lot from it and has cool games that also teach her stuff. But I would really prefer if she didn't have as much screen time at all. I just think it's better and more natural not to have as much screen time.

Don't start if you don't have to !

oblada · 11/03/2022 08:03

I don't care for tablets and my 4 kids (18m, 5, 8 and 10) only use a tablet to watch movies when we travel long distances (well the older 3 do anyway). My 5 yrs old also had Osmo games on the tablet so every couple of weeks we try to spend an hour on it as they are nice interactive games. I don't see any need for anything else to be honest.

pinkstripeycat · 11/03/2022 08:03

It’s not clever playing games on a tablet.

It is clever being able to play games and learn without a tablet and let the child use their mind and think for themselves.

I have one child (eldest) who had a handed down game boy at the age of 3 and one who didn’t. Now in their teens the eldest is obsessed with Xbox. He is easily distracted by tech and would let it rule his life if we weren’t strict. The youngest isn’t bothered about tech. He has a very inventive mind and has a much longer attention span when studying.

pinkstripeycat · 11/03/2022 08:04

They can learn from a tablet but they can learn so much more not staring at a screen and having person to person interaction

girlmom21 · 11/03/2022 08:07

My 2 year old had a tablet for Christmas. They have a big one at nursery and she loves it but she hardly uses her own one.

She's very clever but that's because of her interactions (and good luck, probably), not because she can move her finger around on a screen.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/03/2022 08:09

I don't see the difference really in a child having their own device and regularly using the parents. In the fact the child one is likely to have better parental controls...

Its about limiting the use and not becoming reliant on it.

Its also easy to say 'not to X age' when they are young until they need them for homework in Infant school!

EarlGreywithLemon · 11/03/2022 08:17

Our 2.3 year old doesn’t have one, and doesn’t use ours (except for grabbing the phone if you’ve taken a photo of her to look at herself ). Absolutely no plans to get her one any time soon (by which I mean, many years).

HoneyFlowers · 11/03/2022 08:20

Please do not get her one. Teach through traditional toys and books.

MrsMop1964 · 11/03/2022 08:22

I once saw a very young child making pinching movements with their hand on the page of a book as if trying to zoom in. Parent thought it cute but I felt a bit sad that they seemed more familiar with the concept of a touch screen than a physical book.

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