To not give my DD a tablet when she’s two?

[Sparkles8912]

My DD is 21 months old and doesn’t yet have a tablet for watching shows/ playing games etc. I’m being made to feel a bit of the odd one out by friends and family whose little ones seem to be on a tablet all day. We’re constantly told how clever my nephew (similar age) is for being able to play games etc on his tablet and how much he learns with it and friends have said similar about their DC.

I really wanted to keep screen time to a minimum and not give her a tablet until she’s a fair bit older but now wondering if I’m being unreasonable and depriving her, so considering one for her second birthday.

It’s not necessary. And it establishes a habit of screen time which is damaging. Most people who work in tech (I know plenty) do not give their kids tech this young because they know this.

When she’s a lot older she can have structured time on your tablet.

Research on no screen time until after two is massively flawed if that is your rationale for no tablet. Just because it’s a WHO guideline doesn’t mean it’s underpinned by proper analysis(it’s not!)

Just like threads about food get competitive undereaters, you can guarantee threads about tech get competitive underusers who only allow their child to watch TV once a month for ten minutes and they won’t be getting a tablet till 18.
Time controlled and supervised use of a tablet is fine and perfectly normal. I wouldn’t use it in a restaurant or instead of playing, drawing, cooking or social interaction but as an addition they can be fun and educational. The pre school we use utilises them from age three for basic coding games which the children really enjoy. Reading eggs is also an excellent app for phonics and maths, in addition to reading real books obviously.
At 2 a child certainly doesn’t need their own but occasional use of a family tablet is not going to cause them to start school mute or any of the other ridiculous hyperbole pp have suggested.

For me the big thing is what are they not doing when they're on tablets/ screens. Are they missing out on active play, being outside, colouring, reading etc.

Fortunately for me when DS 11 was a toddler, tablets hadn't really taken off and I was on a Blackberry type phone. We swerved screens until he was 1. I then had a hard pregnancy/ birth around the 18m-2.5 zone. A lot of it fell over a long, hard winter and I ended up on crutches. I did use TV for sanity's sake but at least with TV you are sharing the content and can talk about it. Content is also regulated. When I got mobile into the summer, I phased out his TV time each week.

At 9 & 11 my two watch youtube on the TV and that's better than the tablets. I can see what they watch and can vet content. They have to negotiate taking turns. I've learned about their interests and played games with them as a result. That's better than staring at the same content on their own device 2 feet from their face.

Tech exists and it's pretty hard to hold it off indefinitely (especially at school when it can lead to social isolation), but the later you introduce it and manage the content, the better.

I bought one for when my now 3.5 year old turned 2. We used it a bit over the first month and now I genuinely have no idea where it is! Last time we used it was for a 6 hour car trip to put a movie on for him. Didn’t buy a second when my youngest turned 2

I was going to come on to say Calpol is easier [misses point]

My DD occasionally played on a tablet from aged 2, I always felt really strongly that it wouldn’t be ‘her’ tablet. It’s a family device. Even now at aged 7she doesn’t have her own, we have 2 iPads but they are both family devices. I feel if the tablet was hers as a Christmas or birthday gift we would have less control of the time spent on it.

Don't give in! My DC has their own tablet but we got it for them aged 7. Had the same guff from family members about how their kid was so bright because they knew how to use a tablet age 1 .

I encouraged mine to colour, draw, read, meet with friends, play... even now they use the tablet mostly to listen to audio books. They use it for the odd game and a lot of the homework is on apps nowadays.

You're doing right by your child, you know what's best.

It's sad that people think clicking apps on a screen makes a child cleverer than a child who's never used a tablet isnt it.

Do these people just say it to make themselves feel better?

Saying "my child's cleverer than yours" is a twat move anyway

My eldest (of 3) is 5 and still doesn’t have one. I’m a teacher and can tell which children have been glued to screens from an early age as they are often the ones lacking in concentration and gonversational skills. Controversial maybe but that’s my opinion. Children need hands on play, building blocks, jigsaw puzzles, playdough, real books etc; not tablets! Stick to your guns, sounds like you’re a great mum!

Conversation skills I meant!

You can't be serious? A tablet for a 2 year old! DS is 5 in a few months and I wont be getting him one then either. Far, far too young. Dont listen to your family. I inwardly cringe when I see small children shoved in front of tech.

@Flickflak

Our six and seven year olds have no access to devices.

Anyone who says they need access to understand technology is kidding themselves. Those devices are built so toddlers can understand them and one of my kids won the year level coding prize last year only by using a computer in computer class twice a week.

Kids need to learn to communicate, use their imaginations, entertain themselves, to hold a pen properly and to PLAY.

Two year olds being given devices or device time as a normal part of their daily routine have lazy parents.

👏👏

My DS started using our tablet around 3, but doesn’t have his own or use it very often. We download a film on to it for long car journeys or sometimes he is allowed to watch it in my office if I have a meeting when my DH is out. Now that he is in school they give him spellings to do which would either need to be done on the tablet, phone or my work laptop so he uses the tablet.

DD 2 doesn’t have one and she’s not that interested in mine, she likes looking at pics of her teacher on my phone (theres some serious mutual adoration going on there) but thats it. Bloody loves the tele though, not sure throwing a tablet into the mix would be helpful.

I think if as PP said she had long stints in a hospital or on a plane I probably would but otherwise we read books and play with her (and try to get her to entertain herself). There are a whole bunch of things like fine motor skills which will be neglected if they are on tablets for too much of the day plus the damn thinks are addictive (totally addicted to my ipad). When she’s a bit older I probably will and get her using maths and literacy games.

We have one tablet in the house and young DC sometimes watch things on iplayer on it or do drawing on the paint app. But we are very clear it belongs to mummy and daddy not them! They have to ask to use it and the answer is definitely not always a yes.

I don't see the need for young DC to 'own' that kind of device tbh. A family one is plenty.

@ForkedIt

To add to my previous message. I get that some people are totally screen free, but if you are going to allow screen time; why is a tablet worse than the tv?

I think it’s because being on a tablet is a solitary activity. Dd does watch tv but we do talk to her about whats going on whiles she’s watching.

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/11/211108130847.htm

Our 6 and 2 year olds do not have tablets and have never had a go of ours or our phones. DP thinks it's best to keep them away from screens as long as we can. Our 6 year old does use a tablet at school occasionally but has never asked for one, yet.......

My dc aged 3.5 and 2 don't have a tablet and don't use my phone. I don't judge what others are doing as every situation is different and they will all end up tech addicts anyway.

But for myself, I prefer them to play with toys. They have so few years to be kids and play with toys, why rush through that? It's also to make my life easier, to avoid tantrums and tears when I would tell them to put it away. If there isn't one in the house and they've never used one, they can't miss it.

We have one tablet in a family of four, officially it's mine and the kids (2 and 4) know that but they are occasionally allowed to use it for age appropriate games (mostly just the CBeebies app). I don't want them to have their own for a while but am happy for them to use mine as and when

My daughter got a tablet at age 4.5. Not as a birthday or Christmas present as I didn't want to make it seem exciting and desirable to play with it all the time. My younger daughter is nearly 2 so she has used the tablet as well.

They use it for a phonics game, and she plays cbeebies playtime Island and a Hey Duggee game. Its limited to 30 mins per day (turns itself off after this time) and she probably plays it on average 2 days a week.

The screen time argument can be a bit black and white at times.

We have three tablets; one with a bluetooth keyboard that my children like to use to type letters on the screen sometimes. Another one is really just used for audiobooks and music, another that my son uses to watch TV on if he wakes up early. They rarely have them during the day but we do have the TV on a lot in the background. I'm being more mindful of switching to radio at the moment though.