To not give my DD a tablet when she’s two?

[Sparkles8912]

My DD is 21 months old and doesn’t yet have a tablet for watching shows/ playing games etc. I’m being made to feel a bit of the odd one out by friends and family whose little ones seem to be on a tablet all day. We’re constantly told how clever my nephew (similar age) is for being able to play games etc on his tablet and how much he learns with it and friends have said similar about their DC.

I really wanted to keep screen time to a minimum and not give her a tablet until she’s a fair bit older but now wondering if I’m being unreasonable and depriving her, so considering one for her second birthday.

This just depends on your friendship group. Of the dozen or more 3 years olds I know, none has a tablet - I can say that with complete certainty. I don't buy the argument about learning about using tech either. At pre-school age they need to learn to entertain themselves using what is around them.

My 2 year old has a tablet.
She watches cbeebies on it because we thought it better to have a tablet which can be put away than a big tv on the wall in the play room.

I get the argument against having them on a tablet 24/7 but people seem to think a tablet is much worse than a tv?

@Thejoyfulstar yes this is what I do currently, the changing back is always packed full of little toys etc to keep him entertained.

Thanks everyone this has made me feel better, I was beginning to feel like the odd one out. We don’t have tablets ourselves (although obviously spend far too much time on my phone so it is a bit hypocritical!) so I figure the longer we can hold out without getting him one the better as at the moment he can’t ask for something we don’t have!

To add to my previous message.
I get that some people are totally screen free, but if you are going to allow screen time; why is a tablet worse than the tv?

@ForkedIt apparently because when you’re watching tv you’re watching with them on a bigger screen so it’s not so much a passive/ all encompassing activity whereas when they watch on a tablet they’re usually just watching by themselves and aren’t aware of everything else going on around them. But that’s just something I read on a tech account I follow on is that I am on so not sure how accurate it is. I guess it’s all too early to know the impact of screens really.

Tablets are awful for kids. Yes, they go quiet, which is why they start school unable to speak, hold a conversation and still shit themselves. It wrecks their attention spans and makes them miserable when the tablet is taken away. Those games are designed to be addictive. It's the whole central tenet of mobile game design.

Your family sound classless. Ignore.

During the first lockdown, my DD was 2 years old and I stupidly let her use my tablet. She became absolutely addicted and it was scary to see! I stopped her using it after a few months and have reintroduced it a little now that she's 4 years old. She is allowed 10-30 mins a few days a week. I have to say that taking it away was 100% the right thing for her. She went back to imaginative play with her toys.
My older DD is 8 and got a tablet for her birthday. We limit her time on it but she doesn't seem to have the desperation to be on it much like her younger sister.
If you have no reason to introduce one (car/plane journey or hospital stay) then just don't, there's so much time for that later.

@Thirkettle

Tablets are awful for kids. Yes, they go quiet, which is why they start school unable to speak, hold a conversation and still shit themselves. It wrecks their attention spans and makes them miserable when the tablet is taken away. Those games are designed to be addictive. It's the whole central tenet of mobile game design.

Your family sound classless. Ignore.

If your kid is raised on a tablet from 6 months and has 0 interaction, maybe.

There's a wide spectrum of children. Very few start school unable to speak and not toilet trained.

Those who do either have additional needs or are severely neglected. The latter should have been removed from the family home long before they reach school age.

Tv and interactive touch screens affect the brain in different ways

but people seem to think a tablet is much worse than a tv?

They effect the brain in different ways, also they are looking at the screen much more closely. I'm also not sure why you'd have a TV in a playroom though, surely a playroom is for play? To my mind tvs belong in the living room and watching them should be a somewhat shared experience.

I wouldn't have any screens in the playroom

Interactive screens are more addictive as they produce a dopamine hit in the brain

For goodness sake, she doesn't need screens until she is a teenager and will use them for homework. Give her real, age-appropriate toys and she will be just fine. If not cleverer than your nephew who will end up a gormless screen gawper. Makes my skin crawl to see toddlers with tablets.

Stick to your gut and hold off. Science is behind you.

@Momicrone yep I have no doubt I’m addicted to my phone!

I think screens stunt imagination - and I’m speaking as someone who has them. I think they can be useful and using them is not inherently “bad” but they do seem to feature quite highly in bad parenting. There will be plenty of time to learn about them when they’re older - it’s not as if they’re going to miss out on a job in big tech because they didn’t have access to screens at 2.

My now 11yo DD got a hand down ipad when she was 6, and even though we were strict with screen time limits etc, I think that was too young looking back. There's no way a little 2yo needs a tablet.

We had a few days at a hotel about a month ago on what they classed as a ‘toddler break.’ In the restaurant my 2 year old was one of the only children with no tablet. I know they have their uses and can be godsends in certain situations but at the moment my child doesn’t know what a tablet is and we’d like to keep it that way as long as we can.

I lent my 18 month old mine during lockdown when i was working, for survival. No games, she would watch cartoons and children´s vlogs. it was her only contact with other kids during the 48 days straight we were at home and then because there was no school and she didn´t get to play with other kids. She is 3.5 now and i still lend her it but no games. And no, she doesn´t have her own.

Stick to your guns!!

Unless your child is in hospital a lot or has some other specific need, then no they really don't need them & are better off without them.

The interactive nature of them makes them so 'rewarding' to play with, but it isn't good for developing brains!!

Ignore what anyone else says (IRL) it's not really 'clever' for small kids to know how to turn them on, find their game & play it, despite many parents thinking it makes their child advanced🤣

Now, I need someone to take mine off of me 🤣🤣

Well we're not giving our DD one until 10 yo and no phone till high school and then only texting no Internet.

I do agree that screens need limits but I am wary of people saying 'do colouring/reading instead.at cafes'. I'm sure this works for some toddlers but despite my best efforts neither of mine had the slightest interest in colouring/drawing/craft and my older one had no interest in books at all despite not having a tablet. So the two things aren't necessarily linked, they were just boisterous children who mainly liked running around loudly and it was extremely tricky to manage them in any situation involving sitting still (eg cafes) and taking books or colouring would definitely not have helped! (For anyone with a similar toddler, my oldest is now reading really well so don't despair!)

No 2-year-old needs a tablet.

There’s so many great things to buy a 2-year-old. Don’t do something just because “everyone else is”.