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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not give my DD a tablet when she’s two?

112 replies

Sparkles8912 · 11/03/2022 07:31

My DD is 21 months old and doesn’t yet have a tablet for watching shows/ playing games etc. I’m being made to feel a bit of the odd one out by friends and family whose little ones seem to be on a tablet all day. We’re constantly told how clever my nephew (similar age) is for being able to play games etc on his tablet and how much he learns with it and friends have said similar about their DC.

I really wanted to keep screen time to a minimum and not give her a tablet until she’s a fair bit older but now wondering if I’m being unreasonable and depriving her, so considering one for her second birthday.

OP posts:

Newmumatlast · 11/03/2022 19:18

@Lazypuppy

Its not a choice between no screen time and on a tablet 24/7, there is a range. My DD has had one since she was 2, and its great for kids games and her tv shows so i don't have to watch them and can watch my tv for a change! She only normally has it in the evenings before bed and on the weekend days here and there if we are having a day at home. Its easy to limit, but theres no need for them to have it at 2yo.

Remember with all the technology, this is the kids world they will be living in and they will need to learn how to use all these things at some point

Agree. My 2 year old has one. Was never my parenting plan but when I saw what they can do and that you can restrict access I thought why not. She isnt on it all the time. She has games which are mainly educational like numberblocks and finger tracing etc. She can do very simple maths and figures out how to play the apps all by herself. If I want to watch a programme on TV she can watch one on her tablet. And she will need to use tech at school and in life anyway.

I don't agree with kids being on them all the time or as a substitute for parenting but they can be used very well alongside.

Foldinthecheese · 11/03/2022 19:23

@CyranoCyrano what a funny response! You haven’t seen the alternative for my children because that would be literally impossible. Just as you have seen children who have used tablets and are still imaginative and good conversationalists, I have met many who are not. I have met many who don’t want to play with friends because they would rather use their tablets, or who can’t sit nicely at a table without having a screen in front of them. I said in my previous post that this is a parenting decision I have made that has definitely been the right one for us. I never suggested that I was speaking for anyone else, just sharing my own experience and perspective.

CyranoCyrano · 11/03/2022 19:42

[quote Foldinthecheese]@CyranoCyrano what a funny response! You haven’t seen the alternative for my children because that would be literally impossible. Just as you have seen children who have used tablets and are still imaginative and good conversationalists, I have met many who are not. I have met many who don’t want to play with friends because they would rather use their tablets, or who can’t sit nicely at a table without having a screen in front of them. I said in my previous post that this is a parenting decision I have made that has definitely been the right one for us. I never suggested that I was speaking for anyone else, just sharing my own experience and perspective.[/quote]
I tnink it’s a funnier response to assume your children are they way they are because of no tablets. You have no idea if this is the case. You are attributing a lot to your ‘parenting decision’ being the right one when equally you could have had controlled tablet use and the same outcomes. That’s all I’m saying.

PaperMonster · 11/03/2022 20:24

Not unreasonable at all. My child had no screen time until she was three - I got called all sorts because of this, was told this was abusive!! Got told I was holding her back as computers and screens were in a child’s future. But, I’d researched and read about the impact of screens in the early years and I felt uncomfortable with her having early screen access. Has it held her back? No. Quite the opposite. She has a natural aptitude for IT and is quite comfortable and proficient in its use. I also don’t put any limits on its use other than a time for screens to go off for the day, so we’ve never had any real issues with her coming off it or being addicted to it.

tokyo1 · 11/03/2022 20:44

My 2yo DC doesn't have one and I've never had any comments on it either. I'd rather delay it as much as possible. We may play a video on our phones in very rare circumstances like a flight or long car journey but that's as far as it goes. We don't have a TV either so my family think we're very weird but he's allowed to watch it at grandparents but apart from a few glances, he's very disinterested in it when there. Parent how you see fit. Forget the comments.

RidingMyBike · 11/03/2022 22:52

You don't have to give them one- it isn't obligatory! DD doesn't have her own and she's six! She didn't watch any tv until around 22 months, then we introduced CBeebies bedtime story. She watched more during the lockdowns though. She now very occasionally (couple of times a month?) goes on our family tablet to do Reading Eggs or the CBeebies games. I don't see any need for her to have a tablet of her own.

Smellyporcupine · 11/03/2022 23:06

@ForkedIt

My 2 year old has a tablet. She watches cbeebies on it because we thought it better to have a tablet which can be put away than a big tv on the wall in the play room.

I get the argument against having them on a tablet 24/7 but people seem to think a tablet is much worse than a tv?

Mine too. We don't have the tv on in the background all day long like quite a few friends with small kids do. Mine get iPad time and that's it, once a day. We don't watch Tv.

The only negative is with iPad is that they change stuff more easily. That can have pros and cons. Keeps them engaged, but I'm on the fence about whether it affects their attention span.

To me screen time is any screen.

morechocolateneededtoday · 12/03/2022 07:55

They definitely do not need their own tablet so young. As others have mentioned, tablets do have their uses, particularly when travelling, if in hospital etc to keep them still or distract them. Without a doubt, there is no skill they are missing out on without access to one.

I am first to admit DD (now 5) was exposed to more TV than I'd like, particularly when I was sick whilst expecting DS. She didn't get to watch TV until she was 1 then Cbeebies was on in the back ground all the time. She was a fussy eater and it was this stage where her grandparents thought it was a brilliant idea to use the tablet while feeding her so she would blindly eat all meals. I was too exhausted to protest and we had some awful habits. I put a stop to it all when on mat leave with DS and haven't looked back.

They are now 3 and 5. We do enjoy watching TV, both them and as family but we have parental locks so they cannot watch anything without asking us. We used tablets over lockdown for reading eggs and DD now has a mathletics account from school which she gets access for but that is it. If we go for a meal (or anywhere else they need entertainment) we have paper, pens, dobble and a pack of cards. The last 2 are usually adequate. Now holidays are likely to happen, they will be allowed to watch on planes but we still plan to stop there.

As for skills, both have IT lessons at nursery and school and the lessons focus on a proper keyboard and mouse stills for both of them. They do not deal with touch screens as they are intuitive and children will pick them up anyway

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 12/03/2022 08:37

My ds is a month older than your dc and he hasn't got one, nor will be getting one anytime soon. If we have had a long day and end up in a cafe or a restaurant and he is really starting to kick off, I let him watch my phone. It keeps him interested for all of 10 minutes.

Wheelerdeeler · 12/03/2022 08:42

Those parents are saying that to make themselves feel better.

My almost 5 year old has none, doesn't play games on my phone etc.

He watches TV.

There is no need for personal devices & small screens so young.

Notbeinfunnehbut · 12/03/2022 08:50

@Thirkettle

That’s quite a disabilist post , children who attend school untrained often have undiagnosed SEN ,

Peachy7 · 12/03/2022 09:00

My nephew wasn't allowed one until he was 8, my niece still isn't as she's 6 and isn't allowed to go on his. They're an easy way of keeping kids occupied. My friends kids are the nicest kids in the world until they're told to get off them. They're designed to be addictive. Give them normal 2 year old toys/books etc

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