“Did you get to work on time?” AIBU to find it annoying when DH says this?

[Daffodilsbythebrook]

I met DH (who obviously wasn’t DH then) in 2017, when I was 37, had been working full time since I was 22.

Had a period where I wasn’t working as lockdown and maternity.

Now every day he asks me if I got to work on time. It’s so patronising, or am I being prickly and it’s a normal question?

It's the sort of question that would irritate me if I was feeling stressed or grumpy and wouldn't irritate me on a much better day.

DH sometimes comes to the living room door and says will you set a timer for 30 mins (on Alexa which is next to the sofa). On a good day I set the timer, on a bad day I just glare at him and wait for him to say the words himself since at that point he is the same distance from Alexa as I am.

I find that my own mood usually dictates my responses to the minute details of life.

@newhomenewlife47

I think it's a perfectly normal question to ask. DH will often ask me if I got to work okay, because often dc will mess about in the morning and I see it as him checking they were all okay and we all got to school/work on time/ok

Exactly this. It’s a bloody nightmare getting out of the house in the morning!

Is it his way of making a bit of small talk? Or is he simply wondering if there's a lot of traffic about? Either way, he's taking an interest and being caring. My husband always says "Drive nicely", every time I go out. I sometimes reply "No, I'll drive like a bastard" but I know he cares.

YABU, I don't really see the issue - I don't get how it's any different to "how was the traffic this morning" or "did you get to work okay?" - I think it's just another way of saying the same thing.

The only way I would ever see it as patronising would be if you'd made a habit of being late for a while and so he was having a snip but as you've said you've never been/rarely are late, I don't really understand how it would be taken as anything more than the questions above

I'd be displeased about the same question every day.