To think we should all sleep in separate rooms?

[Pipsquiggle]

Lighthearted thread.

My DH has covid - his 2nd bout in 6 weeks - therefore I am sleeping in the spare room and I am bloody loving it.

Better quality of sleep, having my own bed, not worrying if I am waking up DH when I go to bed, waking up naturally......... I could go on.

Just wondered if anyone else felt the same.

I know mega posh couples who live in castles / palaces have their own bedrooms and I totally get it.

I’ve always preferred sex earlier than bedtime, so we tend to do it as soon as our 8yo is asleep.

We spent a miserable few years at the start of our marriage sleeping together because that's what you have to do, right? Separate rooms means divorce after all! But - he snores so loudly you can hear him two rooms over, he's as hot as the sun, and likes some ambient noise. I am noise sensitive, can't bear being warm at night, need total silence and darkness.

Eventually we started sleeping apart to just catch up on sleep, found we were so much happier, and stuck with it.

Hang out every night, get back into bed together every morning. Been almost 15 years now and still very happy. Sex and cuddles and affection all still great, more so after not being sleep deprived I think!

Having said as much - I expect humans were designed to sleep together for warmth really, and I wish it had somehow worked for us. It would make life a little easier and give us more room in our flat.

Separate rooms here. It's wonderful.

@WouldIwasShookspeared I slept in my own bed but could get in my mums if I wanted to, which I did if I had a bad dream.

@greenritta we aren’t a ‘sex then roll over and sleep’ couple and never have been. We tend to have sex early evening or during the day, so our sex life hasn’t been affected at all. If we ever did have sex right before bed which we have done rarely, then DH slips out to his bed after cuddles.

I’m amazed at how many of you sleep separately from your partners. This thread has been enlightening.

Personally I’m remaining beside my DH as neither of us snore and DCs have always slept well in their own rooms. I love a cuddle in the night and we often chat in the night if we can’t sleep. I can see others have reasons for not. Sleep is vital to our wellbeing.

Grasping - I'm equally amazed that couples actually choose to sleep in the same bed .

We've slept in separate rooms for about 6 years because DH snores unbelievably loudly and I've become a super light sleeper. Lack of sleep makes me homicidal.

I prefer it, I can relax and spread out and nobody wakes me up by snoring, tossing and turning and BREATHING. DH would prefer us to sleep together but I told him that was fine if he'd get to the doctors and sort his snoring out. Five years and he's still not made a doctors appointment...

Thinking about this more.
I read less because we share a bed and it's one of my greatest loves. Falling asleep mid chapter is bliss but only reserved for weekends as DH works early and hates light in the room. I need a bedroom/library setup for myself I think.

We've had separate bedrooms for about 10 years and it is a game changer. Very happy marriage of 18 years but we aren't compatible to sleep in the same bed. My DH is very hot and i like a cold bedroom, i toss and turn, he's a light sleeper. He snores on and off and i heavy breath from time to time.

The only time we share a bed is if someone comes to stay with us (once or twice a year) or in a hotel and even then we sometimes book a room with two double beds. Even at my parents, the room we use has two beds in it.

The fact that we get good quality sleep and neither of us wakes up wanting to kill the other is fantastic.

We're in a 3 bedroom house, no kids. two bedrooms are the same size and each have a king size bed in.

I sleep alone as my husband snores like a train. It causes issues when we go on holiday or to stay with family as they think it’s weird.

Grasping -Sleep is vital to our wellbeing.

As it is to all of us.

How that is acheived is up to the individual couple.

GirlOfTudor
Question for those who permanently sleep in seperate rooms... What do you do when you go on holiday? Book seperate hotel rooms? Book an apartment with bedrooms for each of you?

We normally go self catering but if we go to a hotel we book two rooms or at the very least a room with 2 double beds

@greenritta

I admit I didn't read every post but... sex? I enjoy the deed but I'm tempted to separate things. How does it work then? Seems impersonal!

This question is always asked on these threads it just takes a bit of imagination. My sex life hasn't suffered because we sleep seperately and it's always in his bed... If in a bed. It doesn't have to be.

@speakout

Grasping -Sleep is vital to our wellbeing.

As it is to all of us.

How that is acheived is up to the individual couple.

Yep - that’s what I said

Wow - this is fascinating. I never knew sleeping in separate rooms was pretty common place. I would love to do a nat rep survey on this

@pussycatunpickingcrossesagain

I'd sleep better if he wasn't breathing near me...

I'd sleep better if he wasn't breathing....

Since I started the peri-menopause, my sleep has become rather delicate. Our cleaner, who is in her 50s, told DH she was surprised we still slept together. It’s obviously pretty common as we get older.

@Xtraincome

Thinking about this more. I read less because we share a bed and it's one of my greatest loves. Falling asleep mid chapter is bliss but only reserved for weekends as DH works early and hates light in the room. I need a bedroom/library setup for myself I think.

I have a clip on reading light for this very reason. It's an amazing find. Cheap from Amazon, you can re charge it from a USB port. My husband also doesn't like light but I have to read...

The more I read this thread the more I think I want my own bedroom!

A few times (probably only about 3 in our 16 year marriage) I've slept in the spare room due to his rare snoring, and I loved it! We made the spare room cosy for guests (including TV, which ours doesn't have) so I got to have the bed and tv all to myself!

I don't recall ever sleeping in my parents' bed - I used to get in early morning after Dad had got up, for stories from my mum.

I was in the room next to them from very early on, in a cot - my first memory is of grabbing the Dentinox off the cupboard next to my cot and spilling it on the blanket (I liked the taste).

Then when my siblings were born, I was shipped off to the other end of the house, so I wouldn't be disturbed by their night waking.

I don't think that has affected how I like to sleep now - especially since I co-slept with my kids for many years - I'm pretty sure it's more because of the hours I keep, and the snoring, and the thinks-he's-in-a-dog-bed sleeping that DH does!

Sex - well we were never much ones for bedtime sex anyway because of the fact that DH likes to be asleep by 9 and I'm almost never in bed at that point - so we have other times of the day that we get together. Works for us!

DH and I both snore. It’s fairly normal for us to start out in the same bed then whichever of us is being kept awake will end up moving into the spare bed.
I like having the bed to myself.

Once we've had a child yes, before children, sharing a bed with a lover, even a partner, was great.

We were a co sleeping family until the children wanted to sleep in their own rooms. But even then we were always flexible about sleeping arrangements. OH snores, I am a light sleeper. He is a night owl, I love early mornings.
We adore each other and our relationship is solid ( been together 25 years) but sleeping apart is bliss- also doesn't hinder any aspect of our relationship,
I wake early to indulge myself in self care rituals, my bedroom is my sanctuary.

Guess what?

I have now caught covid .............. A few more nights of me in the spare room!