To think I've scraped a pass?

[M24L]

Recently passed my driving test first time with 4 minors, DH has drove for the past 25 years so it was about time i got it done.

But the question is aibu to think it was just a Lucky day?

I was absolutely crying when I had passed as all my hard work paid off but recently while being in the car with DH hes picking up on things I'm doing wrong "constructive criticism" and I take on board what he says and Try to resolve it but part of me feels like should I have passed?

DH passed before we had kids so he was a young driver and had noone criticising his driving whereas now we have 2 young kids who will be in the car with me at all times so I am very cautious.

I'm not sure if it's normal to feel like this or if it was just a lucky day for me to pass.

Mistakes are putting the car into the wrong gear (couldn't seem to find 4th gear from 5th) not being in the right gear going around a corner, stalling a few times and being hesitant at junctions.

YABU - all new drivers feel quite nervous and make mistakes it will all come to you.

YANBU - you shouldn't be making mistakes gear are something you should know inside out.

Drive without him to gain confidence, or have a few confidence-boosting sessions with your ex-instructor.

YABU DH is NOT helping you, he's shattering your confidence.
Practice WITHOUT him there, I wouldn't even drive AT ALL whilst you grown in confidence.

He needs to shut ul

Your DH sounds like a twit, even experienced drivers make mistakes occasionally. Passing your test does not mean you are a perfect driver, it means you demonstrated enough that you are safe on the road. The real learning starts now, and you will build confidence as you go (as long as you don’t have someone nitpicking every little thing)!

Even drive at all with him there

Ask your husband to stay out of it unless he thinks you’re going to do something dangerous. You can’t expect to be the most expert driver if you’ve just passed your test, your husband has years or decades of practice. Most likely him nitpicking your minor harmless errors won’t help your confidence.

Your husband sounds like a dick. I agree you need to drive without him to build confidence.

Your problem is not your driving. Your husband is being a cunt.

You just have different driving styles, and dh needs to leave it alone.
My DH drives totally different than I do, and if we started nit picking at each other it would make things very tense.
You both have driving licenses, so really at this point his "constructive criticism" is no longer required.

Tell him to fuck off. Driving lessons basically get you through the test and the real learning comes after that. Just keep driving on your own and you will get there. It's all about practising then slowly you will become a competent and confident driver.

Perfectly normal to be hesitant, stall a few times etc just after you've passed. In fact, I'd say it took me a full year before I felt absolutely confident driving anywhere and on any type of road. I will freely admit I was quite a rubbish driver for the first few months and yet I sailed through my test and passed first time.

His criticism will knock your confidence, you can drive to the required standard, you will gain in confidence the more you drive. I expect your DH has acquired some bad driving habits over 25yrs, as most of us do.

I made lots of silly mistakes when I first started. I struggled with changing cars as I’d only ever driven my instructors car. I was competent to be on roads but still needed a lot of practice.

If I’d had someone constantly pulling me up on all mistakes I would have been a nervous wreck (luckily DP didn’t drive at that time).

Take the car out during a quiet time of the day and just drive around the local area to practise some more. Tell DP he can walk if he doesn’t shut up.

Some people (more often men) are shit passengers.
Also people whove been driving a long time can make a lot of errors and have no idea they are due to complacency.

Trust yourself. Getting used to a different car can take time. (I hate driving DHs car as all the biting points, gear positions, feel of the pedals is all different)

If you ignore the criticism from your dh, what do you think? Some degree of independent learning is to be expected post test but if you're consistently unable to change or select gears and regularly hesitant to a degree where it could be unsafe, then maybe you need a few lessons. With a professional, not your dh. It's mostly confidence. Are you getting time to go out alone and practise?

Oh god those are totally normal things to happen when you're a new driver! They're not 'mistakes' that will have any impact other than maybe a red face if you stall.

Tell him he needs to keep his mouth shut as he's shattering your confidence.

I agree though if you're nervous a few more lessons with an instructor now you've passed (I did Pass Plus, not sure it's a thing anymore) will help a lot, especially with motorway driving.

Congrats OP!

Your husband is a dick.

Actually, your driving must be pretty good to pass first time. Congratulations!
I expect as a parent driving your DC around you will be quite cautious, as is sensible for everybody, but especially a new driver.
If DH is affecting your confidence, don't drive when he's in the car until you are a bit more practised.
As a matter of interest, did he pass first time?

To be fair, I think you only really properly learn to drive after you pass your test. You’ll learn to read situations that you’ll not have come across in lessons.
Your dh is not helping though. He needs to butt out and you need to learn how to drive by analysing and reading the roads and other drivers by yourself. He’s interrupting this extremely important development. Drive without him.

Thank you all for your replies.

At the moment we only have one car so I'm taking him to work and collecting him so I can get the kids from school so I'm having loads of driving on my own as well and I feel confident when it's just me and tbh I feel like I dont make mistakes when im alone I do feel that with him in the car there's an added pressure but I feel I'm maybe doubting myself also.

When I collect him from work I'm always saying oh I made no mistakes today etc but then I start thinking am I making mistakes or doing things I shouldn't and I just think I've done OK because he's not there pointing out mistakes or am I really doing OK.

@DelphiniumBlue it took him 4 trys before he passed.

You've passed your test so you've gained A Man Who Drives Better Than You Do.

An ex used to do this to me. I put him out of the car and fucked off home without him.

Tell him if he can't keep quiet he doesn't get in the car with you. Or to fuck off. Depends how polite you're feeling.

I have been driving for 20 odd years but when my boyfriend was in the car I kept making silly mistakes as he kept commenting, I really dont think he realised he was doing it until I pulled up and told him to either shut up or get out. Occasionally he will still do it, like saying he would go a different route or giving me directions as I am driving to somewhere I know. Then I just say "Do you want to walk?!" and he apologises and shuts up.

I agree that he is your biggest problem here, 4 minors is a good pass!

I’d be telling him to STFU or walk.

When I collect him from work I'm always saying oh I made no mistakes today etc but then I start thinking am I making mistakes or doing things I shouldn't and I just think I've done OK because he's not there pointing out mistakes or am I really doing OK.

Goodness he has done a real job on you. Is he normally unsupportive to the point of making you feel this way? It's not way a caring partner would act. He has eaten away at your confidence before you even got a chance to build it, just to make him feel good

When my dd passed I used to mentally cling to the door but outwardly smile

That is what supportive people do