Anyone else feel that they have seen the light with regard to aesthetics and beauty ideals

[Letmetakeaselfie]

Maybe not fully seen the light, but I'm getting there.

I saw a promotion for heavily discounted lip filler near me, I've never had it before and thought I would give it a try.
I got to the clinic and saw the women who worked there.. it sounds horrible to say but they all seemed to have duck lips. In any case it was various obvious that their lips were false, they were protruding from the side.
Just said I couldn't do the appointment anymore and left, I understand they weren't happy.
I suppose I just had a what am I doing moment, and I bet if I had them and liked them I'd want to keep having it, then it'd be something else.
Looking on Instagram and such, there are so many women with very full lips, heavy microbladed eyebrows, heavily contoured face and a nose ring, and overall doll-like features.
I've spent a lot of time wondering if I'd look better if I had xyz aesthetics treatment but I'm staring to see it's not worth it, has anyone else felt like this and maybe stopped having fillers and other treatments?

Overly contoured faces, big lips, long straight hair - there is no individuality at all. So sad.

It's curiously aging too. You sometimes see these 'influencer' types without all the makeup and grooming and they look years younger

Yes, I find this too. It's weird that young women want to do this, it makes them look much older.

With all these face alterations: once the face starts moving (or trying to, in the case of Botox) everything looks weirdly out of sync and unnatural. It is obvious every single time. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have procedures and to having them done. And it's nothing wrong with other people knowing you've had them done (a bit like colouring hair: it's obvious it's been coloured, it's not a big secret, but it usually enhances the appearance).
But the fact remains that once a face starts moving (expressions, talking, laughing etc) everything looks unsettling and most unnatural. And instead of bringing out the beauty it makes everything look rather grotesque. Completely defeats the purpose. On a static face, in the mirror, photographs, it may well look perfect and that is what the owner of that face sees. In reality, the others looking from the outside and interacting with this person are faced with a very unnatural result. Which is fine, but the owner of that face is completely deluded. That's the problem. However it us their face and they can do and believe what they want.
And then you have the badly done lip fillers etc that look wrong all the time.
It's sad that, especially young women, buy into this aesthetic. But it's a trend and it is their choice.
Don't get me started on the Nike eyebrows - appalling look.
I personally don't like this current trend, which has been going on for ages. But that doesn't matter. I just wish women would embrace their original natural look and work with that. It just creates unnecessary turmoil and this mad desire to change and copy without the best of end results. There's balance in what nature created and people grow into their features as they mature. But everyone is different, aiming to standardise the look, disrupts this natural equilibrium.
And to younger women, having work done, I'd say they build themselves up for more dissatisfaction in the future. It is an unsustainable lifelong maintenance regime and, on top of it, they'll have to deal with the usual changes that come, very slowly, with age. They'd never be truly happy in their own skin bar a week here and there.

But I don’t wear make-up, & I can’t be bothered to have anything done to my face. I don’t think it would add anything to my life TBH.

This. I got bored with makeup back in the 90s & I’m not interested in sticking needles in my face, it’s fine as it is.

I might be way off but I think the worst affected (influenced by social media) age group is 24-30. I'm 30 and lots of my friends already have botox and fillers regularly. The younger girls (19-22) at work seem more in a mindset that it's all about the weekend pictures and the filters- still problematic but I've noticed they very rarely wear any makeup to work. One girl puts her extensions in on a Friday if she's going out but the rest of the time they are fresh faced. My age colleagues wear makeup daily, including me. Bit off topic but maybe things are shifting a bit?

Young women who favour an enhanced look are generally very happy and confident with the enhancements. I don't suppose they would want or expect a bunch of middle aged 'natural' women to admire them, and probably think those women look just as awful, as the other way round. If they even notice them at all. It's two entirely different lifestyles and cultures.

I don't admire then or not admire them - I just think no one looks like themselves when they are so made up.
It seems sad that men can stick on a shirt and tie, haircut and off tehy go and women have to change their lips. eyelashes, brows, add extensions to their hair. Can't just be themselves like men can.

I am hopeful it’s shifting (especially the awful lip filler trend).
Speaking to young teenagers 13/14/15 and they are not keen on lip fillers/loads of make up etc. I agree late 20s seem to be the worst age for overdoing it.

@Polyanthus2

I don't admire then or not admire them - I just think no one looks like themselves when they are so made up. It seems sad that men can stick on a shirt and tie, haircut and off tehy go and women have to change their lips. eyelashes, brows, add extensions to their hair. Can't just be themselves like men can.

Of course they can. This thread is full of women who wouldn't do any of these things and given they hate the done look so much, are presumably very happy with themselves in their natural state. There's no need to feel sad for women who choose to enhance their appearance. They know its not compulsory. They do it because they want to. The same as other women get their ears pierced or have tattoos.

BigOlDingleSlinger69
@OfstedOffred

Frances Mcdormand looks old and hasn’t really aged well, though to be fair she always looked similar. I really don’t think most people are trying to look like a homeless Frances Mcdormand in Nomadland.“

I think she’s gorgeous. The most gorgeous thing about her though is that she probably doesn’t give a toss what anyone else thinks of her looks.

Frances McD - no 11s or forehead wrinkles at 64?? I think she does care what she looks like. Praising people for looking eg amazing, when they've actually had treatment annoys me.
I'm sure actors don't have much choice if they want the parts but let's not pretend it's 'natural'.

@Letmetakeaselfie
This is a very interesting question that you pose!
I would say, however, that the aesthetic you describe isn’t found to be beautiful by many people. Horses for courses I suppose!

@purpleboy

“I honestly can't say I've ever see decent lip fillers,”

But how would you know if you had? 😉
I mean, yes, I’m sure that you’ve seen some shockers, but if you met someone who’s lips had been done well and with a restrained hand, you wouldn’t be able to tell, surely?

I feel like it easier to like a natural look when your face is normal looking. I have an inherited collagen deficiency... It's all very well saying embrace what God gave you but when that's a turkey neck in your early 30s it's a bit harder!

A lot fewer positive role models and a lot more sexism was just accepted day to day. Fucking lad culture in the 90s. Certainly a shit ton of beauty messages and peer pressure. Loads of drugs and alcohol. Loads of pressure to be slim- really, really skinny in fact with gazelle legs

Not my experience at all. We had fantastic role models, Sigourney Weaver in Alien? Princess Lelia ?, even the female leads in E.R, Gillian Anderson in the X-Files? Andy McDowell ( and for that matter Kristen Scott Thomas) in Four Weddings? Thelma and Louise ? Strong independent funny women who were not defined by how they looked.

@Neurodiversitydoctor

Andy McDowell and Princess Leia were in large part defined because of how they looked.

Frances McD - no 11s or forehead wrinkles at 64??

Some of us are lucky. I have no 11s whatsoever and some very slight forehead lines above my left eye - I can raise my left eyebrow independently. I’m 70 next year.

Unfortunately the area round my mouth is a train wreck but you can’t have everything.

I complete disagree with Leia being defined by her looks especially in a new hope. Carrie Fisher wasn't supposed to be stunnigly attractive. The bikini scene is one of the reasons the Return of the Jedi is my least favourite- that and the fucking Ewoks.

All that drag Queen stuff has never appealed to me - it looks bloody awful.

I hate that so many women feel that they’re not good enough, that they need constant make up, fillers, Botox, plastic surgery. It’s so depressing. We should be throwing off the shackles of this expensive crap, not embracing it.

I don’t even wear make up anymore - it’s incredibly liberating.