Anyone else feel that they have seen the light with regard to aesthetics and beauty ideals

[Letmetakeaselfie]

Maybe not fully seen the light, but I'm getting there.

I saw a promotion for heavily discounted lip filler near me, I've never had it before and thought I would give it a try.
I got to the clinic and saw the women who worked there.. it sounds horrible to say but they all seemed to have duck lips. In any case it was various obvious that their lips were false, they were protruding from the side.
Just said I couldn't do the appointment anymore and left, I understand they weren't happy.
I suppose I just had a what am I doing moment, and I bet if I had them and liked them I'd want to keep having it, then it'd be something else.
Looking on Instagram and such, there are so many women with very full lips, heavy microbladed eyebrows, heavily contoured face and a nose ring, and overall doll-like features.
I've spent a lot of time wondering if I'd look better if I had xyz aesthetics treatment but I'm staring to see it's not worth it, has anyone else felt like this and maybe stopped having fillers and other treatments?

I also want to add I have no idea how the fuck people afford to pay for all this stuff. Just getting the basics - nails, lashes, hair colour, tans - on a regular basis is hundreds of pounds. And that's before you get in to the cosmetic treatments. I do think a lot of people must be wondering around with some hefty debts all in the name of vanity.

@Celoo

I also want to add I have no idea how the fuck people afford to pay for all this stuff. Just getting the basics - nails, lashes, hair colour, tans - on a regular basis is hundreds of pounds. And that's before you get in to the cosmetic treatments. I do think a lot of people must be wondering around with some hefty debts all in the name of vanity.

To be fair people spend on different things. We pump shocking amounts into kids activities which we could definitely do cheaper. Also cars and holidays. Some of my friends who keep up with the tanning/nails etc don’t have or do those things.

I probably could afford it if I cut back on other things. On another note I don’t know if I could be bothered! I find the hairdresser a huge chore - wish I found it relaxing like some do!

@Ohhelpicantthinkofaname

I’ve never felt the need for any cosmetic treatment. I’ve never even had my nails or brows done professionally.

I’m happy enough with the way I look. People spend their lives chasing a perceived beauty standard, and half the time it just makes them look strange.

Basically if you don’t like me the way I am that’s your issue not mine.

All of this.

I feel so sorry for young girls who feel the need to attempt to change themselves like this.

@mnetting, I agree that those are just men who feel bitter at life and like to degrade people who they can be women. Don't not do anything you want to in case some arsehole man has something to say about it, when getting pissed with his mates.

@purpleboy

There are definetly good lip fillers, but I guess there the ones you don’t notice so much unless you know the person before.

@mnetting

I worked as a bartender when I was younger and honestly the way men laugh and talk about these overly made up woman and woman who've had work done, I'd never want to be seen in the degrading way they mock them.

Avoiding the mockery of unpleasant inadequate men (who strangely still seem to be all over very glam women if the get half a chance) is not a valid basis on which to make decisions about your appearance. Make your own mind up, and avoid looks you don't like for you, not because you think men don't like it.

@Wavypurple

I had an appointment with a plastic surgeon a few weeks ago to consult about Botox/filler/something that will make me feel a bit less shit. I’m 24 and all of my friends (literally all of them) have either whole face Botox or cheek/lip filler.

On the way home honestly nearly cried because rather than trying to upsell me he basically said that I look like a completely normal human being and that until I’m older he probably wouldn’t be willing to do much and asked me to go home and really sleep on it. Made me feel so much better and was probably my saw the light moment.

You're 24 and literally all your friends have had these quasi-medical cosmetic procedures -- I'm aghast. You were so lucky to have come across a plastic surgeon with ethics. Please listen to him, he was telling you you don't need anything done at all. There should be more like him. But it seems many of these procedures are carried out by beauticians who've done a short course in injectables - and that's all. I know a lovely young women who has significantly altered her looks for the worse by having multiple lip fillers done at a local salon.
In 20 years time you'll look at photos of yourself at 24 and be amazed at how lovely you looked but didn't know it. I'm not being patronising, this was my exact experience.

Is it not the case that some of these 'tweakments' can look good from a certain angle in a still photo or in the mirror but make a face in motion look a bit under-responsive? Also, it feels like once you're on the merry-go-round, it's hard to get off because you've set yourself a standard that requires maintenance.

I saw a promotion for heavily discounted lip filler near me, I've never had it before and thought I would give it a try.

Why would you try bargain lip fillers?!

I don't have fillers or botox. But think that they can look nice. Cheap filler will probably look shit though. You get what you pay for. One of my colleagues has decent looking lip fillers, she pays £330 a time.

It’s so sad women don’t want to look the age they are.

*There is more of a trend for this now with "glass skin" and a huge emphasis on skincare on tiktok etc.

but the whole glass skin thing is just another unattainable (for most) beauty standard masquerading as natural beauty.*

It’s just layering different moisturisers that work for your skin. Many women have been doing this for years and it stems from Asian Skincare.

Saying that, it’s easier for those who have little acne on their skin.

I know what the process is, but achieving supposed 'glass skin' is just never going to happen for the majority of women who try this 14 step Korean routine every night. Because most people will have some texture to their skin, or some visible pores. No amount of 'essences' and snail mucins will change that.

I feel lately like there's no point in using all the anti-wrinkle potions I've got - I'm in my forties, I'm going to get wrinkles, especially as I don't ever plan on having Botox or fillers. I'll still look after my skin and use a moisturiser and SPF, but I think I'm accepting that I can't turn back the clock.

Ditto my grey hairs. I've stopped dying them, partly because I can't be arsed, but mostly because not having grey hairs is still not going to make me look like I'm in my 20s.

I think basically I still want to look after myself and make the best of myself, but I'm gradually stopping equating that with looking young.

I noticed in my Pilates class the other day the number of women who'd clearly had cheek and lip fillers and Botox. None of them looked "young", they looked like older women who've had work done. There's a freshness to youth that just can't be emulated. Older women can still look absolutely stunning - I know many who do - but they don't look like young women. And that should be ok.

I saw a good quote somewhere that said, 20 year olds are getting Botox to look like the Kardashian’s and the Kardashian’s are getting Botox to try and look like they’re 20 again!

It’s so true.

Reminds me of the lyrics to sunscreen which in my opinion should be mandatory to learn in school.

• Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked - You are not as fat as you imagine*

I know what the process is, but achieving supposed 'glass skin' is just never going to happen for the majority of women who try this 14 step Korean routine every night. Because most people will have some texture to their skin, or some visible pores. No amount of 'essences' and snail mucins will change that.

Of course, but it is also a guide. No one is actually expected to do all those steps. It’s based on your own skin. It’s a choice, not an expectation and other than tik tok where else is it expected. Do you actually see people doing it outside of social media?

[quote BigOlDingleSlinger69]@purpleboy

There are definetly good lip fillers, but I guess there the ones you don’t notice so much unless you know the person before.[/quote]
I'm sure your right, maybe I just have an eye for it, because even the subtler ones look naff to me. But I'm so against them in principle that it probably colours my judgment.

Personal choice I guess but I'm a fan of a more natural look.

I also find it quite sad that 20 year olds think filler etc are necessary.

I am in my 50s and have never had any fillers or botox. Of course I have some eye wrinkles and more laugh lines etc. But wouldn't I look more odd if I didn't have any at all?

I am actually enjoying being my age. I take care of my skin, with day to day care. But I think I look quite alright, yet I look my age.

Each to their own. I’m not, never had been, interested. I look alright as I am 🤷‍♀️

Surely people are kidding themselves that expensive fillers aren't noticeable? I think you can always tell - you can see them on pretty much all the Hollywood A-listers, and I assume they're paying for the best.

TheLeadbetterLife

Surely people are kidding themselves that expensive fillers aren't noticeable? I think you can always tell - you can see them on pretty much all the Hollywood A-listers, and I assume they're paying for the best.”

I love Dolly. She could hardly move her face on telly interview this morning, though.

@DillDanding

I don’t have stretch marks either. But I am just not the type to say ‘ooh look at that lovely reminder of being pregnant’ or ‘I love my laughter lines, incipient jowls and grey hairs’. I take my hat off to anyone that does, but also find it hard to believe that people genuinely love the signs of ageing and decline.

Not everyone is so insecure! I couldn’t even tell you how many stretch marks I have. It’s irrelevant to my life. It’s a bit sad you look at your body as ‘in decline’ and feel the need to get regular Botox.

At the moment a high profile look is very popular. YANBU to not want anything done (all power to you).

But to those posters saying you’re embarrassed on behalf of clients who have that, don’t be so bitchy. People are not stupid, they know what they look like.

@MrsSkylerWhite

TheLeadbetterLife

Surely people are kidding themselves that expensive fillers aren't noticeable? I think you can always tell - you can see them on pretty much all the Hollywood A-listers, and I assume they're paying for the best.”

I love Dolly. She could hardly move her face on telly interview this morning, though.

Dolly is an extreme though, and she is completely open about all the surgery she's had. There are virtually no high profile actors (of both sexes) who look like they haven't had any work, and fillers are the most obvious thing, after eye lifts.

@TheLeadbetterLife

Surely people are kidding themselves that expensive fillers aren't noticeable? I think you can always tell - you can see them on pretty much all the Hollywood A-listers, and I assume they're paying for the best.

So what if you can tell? Who are you to judge?