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Original poster

Anyone else feel that they have seen the light with regard to aesthetics and beauty ideals

168 replies

Letmetakeaselfie · 09/03/2022 12:54

Maybe not fully seen the light, but I'm getting there.

I saw a promotion for heavily discounted lip filler near me, I've never had it before and thought I would give it a try.
I got to the clinic and saw the women who worked there.. it sounds horrible to say but they all seemed to have duck lips. In any case it was various obvious that their lips were false, they were protruding from the side.
Just said I couldn't do the appointment anymore and left, I understand they weren't happy.
I suppose I just had a what am I doing moment, and I bet if I had them and liked them I'd want to keep having it, then it'd be something else.
Looking on Instagram and such, there are so many women with very full lips, heavy microbladed eyebrows, heavily contoured face and a nose ring, and overall doll-like features.
I've spent a lot of time wondering if I'd look better if I had xyz aesthetics treatment but I'm staring to see it's not worth it, has anyone else felt like this and maybe stopped having fillers and other treatments?

OP posts:
Siameasy · 09/03/2022 19:31

I don’t like the Kylie Jenner face look and it’s starting to look dated

Recently I watched a load of 90s music videos on YT and when I then went back to the home page and saw lots of modern recommendations all with Kardashface people it looked so odd

Fairisleflora · 09/03/2022 19:35

There are lots of beauty treatment places opening around here and I get that a LOT of them are money laundering places but I don’t know anyone who would ever dream of setting foot in them. Baffling to me - such a waste of money!

lifeuphigh · 10/03/2022 10:02

I can't believe there are people here in their 20s and 30s whose friends get botox. That is just so, so sad.

My aunt (70s) once told me she loves the wrinkles around her eyes because they show that she has spent much of her life smiling. I'm late 30s and have started to get wrinkles, and mine show the same, so I relish them.

Blossomtoes · 10/03/2022 10:08

@Mojoj

If you notice Botox and fillers, then it's been badly done. Good for you if you're happy to let nature take its course and embrace your aging face. I don't judge either way.
You just did! 😂
DillDanding · 10/03/2022 10:38

I never believe it when people say they love their wrinkles - or stretch marks for that matter.

Anyway. I think lip fillers look bloody awful. But that’s only the ones I notice because they look so fake. I’m sure I don’t notice the good ones.

The same goes for Botox. I have it once a year by my very skilled dentist. No-one has ever asked me if I’ve had it. But loads of people ask me what skincare I use, so I take that as a positive.

lifeuphigh · 10/03/2022 10:42

I never believe it when people say they love their wrinkles

Why not? They're just an entirely normal part of aging, like grey hair. I don't have any stretch marks so can't compare but I love my body more now than I ever did when I was younger because it grew my kids, so I guess that's a similar sentiment.

DillDanding · 10/03/2022 10:46

I don’t have stretch marks either. But I am just not the type to say ‘ooh look at that lovely reminder of being pregnant’ or ‘I love my laughter lines, incipient jowls and grey hairs’. I take my hat off to anyone that does, but also find it hard to believe that people genuinely love the signs of ageing and decline.

MintyGreenDream · 10/03/2022 10:48

If their lips looked duck like from the side view they have been badly done.I have mine subtly done and they don't protrude like that

DropYourSword · 10/03/2022 10:49

I honestly can't say I've ever see decent lip fillers

But that's maybe because really good lip filler is so good you can't actually tell!

I do think that all the obvious lip filler I see looks bloody awful. I genuinely don't get why someone would actively choose to look like that.

Tillsforthrills · 10/03/2022 10:51

Thanks to my mother I’ve never needed lip fillers but the tiny lines around the upper lip you get as you get older are annoying. Friends of mine have had very subtle lip fillers and look great, I notice the look on a lot of actresses too.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 10/03/2022 10:57

I have really gone the other way, I am absolutely loving a healthy, natural look and that's my goal. I look after my skin and I want to be as natural looking as possible.
There is more of a trend for this now with "glass skin" and a huge emphasis on skincare on tiktok etc.

but the whole glass skin thing is just another unattainable (for most) beauty standard masquerading as natural beauty.

Anyone else feel that they have seen the light with regard to aesthetics and beauty ideals
Lottapianos · 10/03/2022 11:11

I work in a team with 10 other women, aged between 30 and 65. Not one of them (me very much included) looks Instagram 'perfect', we have varying levels of interest in skincare and make up, but all of them are gorgeous in their own way.

I watched the film Nomadland recently and was just blown away by how gorgeous Frances McDormand is. She's in her 60s, has lines and wrinkles, short grey hair and no makeup and looks totally fabulous

I'm not advocating sackcloth and ashes by ANY means and absolutely love my skincare and make up, but I do think there is a lot to be said for finding your own way through ageing rather than going down a bland, uniform route of what you see on IG

Ponoka7 · 10/03/2022 11:16

I feel sad that most of the 17-24 year olds on my FB think that they need to look like sex dolls. However it's personal choice to get rid of the signs of aging. My DD in her 30's, removes her forehead lines and freshens up her face via Botox. I'll never accept grey hair and want fibroblasting and tear trough filler done. I use microneedling etc. I wouldn't have fillers because I don't think that they make you look younger at 55+.

FunnyTalks · 10/03/2022 11:29

I had a Facebook ad for botox the other day. The young woman had an unlined face, she then made a couple of expressions and you saw her forehead wrinkle a tiny bit. Then it showed how she looked after botox - ie no wrinkles, less expressive face. Video over and over on repeat. Woman staring straight out. I felt judged!

I'm older than that woman. My face is pretty unlined, until I make an expression of surprise. Am I supposed to want to change that? Why would I want to have a less expressive face? I actually kind of want botox for my migraine but don't want to stop being able to look surprised!

I'm not immune to these pressures and probably spend too much on skin care. But I want to look healthy, not unreal.

I know it's entirely pointless because sites like FB don't give a shit about women but I reported the ad.

Kanaloa · 10/03/2022 13:21

@DillDanding

I don’t have stretch marks either. But I am just not the type to say ‘ooh look at that lovely reminder of being pregnant’ or ‘I love my laughter lines, incipient jowls and grey hairs’. I take my hat off to anyone that does, but also find it hard to believe that people genuinely love the signs of ageing and decline.
I actually do love all my stretch marks and scars. Some things I don’t love but I don’t find it behind imagination that others might. I guess it depends how much affection you have for yourself - I (bit wanky) often feel rather tender about myself, so I suppose feel more affectionate about it my ‘flaws.’
Mangogogogo · 10/03/2022 14:11

I feel as I’ve gotten older I actually look better without all the extra stuff!

OfstedOffred · 10/03/2022 14:19

I hate the heavy makeup/fillers etc

Healthy living makes you look good naturally. Drink lots of water. Eat a good diet. The vast majority of people don't need to cover up their skin in heavy makeup.

OfstedOffred · 10/03/2022 14:20

I watched the film Nomadland recently and was just blown away by how gorgeous Frances McDormand is. She's in her 60s, has lines and wrinkles, short grey hair and no makeup and looks totally fabulous

This. That's ageing well.

MichaelAndEagle · 10/03/2022 14:34

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

I have really gone the other way, I am absolutely loving a healthy, natural look and that's my goal. I look after my skin and I want to be as natural looking as possible. There is more of a trend for this now with "glass skin" and a huge emphasis on skincare on tiktok etc.

but the whole glass skin thing is just another unattainable (for most) beauty standard masquerading as natural beauty.

In the 90s that picture would have been the before pic in 'how to get rid of my oily complexion'. Beauty ideals change, but at least back then it wasn't so invasive and expensive!
mnetting · 10/03/2022 14:34

I worked as a bartender when I was younger and honestly the way men laugh and talk about these overly made up woman and woman who've had work done, I'd never want to be seen in the degrading way they mock them.

mrsbitaly · 10/03/2022 14:36

I'm not a fan of lip filler I just don't like it I can spot very easily who's had it done I just don't get it. I haven't yet but I'm very tempted to have botox though for eyes.

Kanaloa · 10/03/2022 14:39

@mnetting

I worked as a bartender when I was younger and honestly the way men laugh and talk about these overly made up woman and woman who've had work done, I'd never want to be seen in the degrading way they mock them.
The makeup isn’t the issue there. I guarantee those men probably had a thing or two to say about you too.

Men who degrade women aren’t interested in their makeup - they’ll say someone in a long skirt and sweater is ‘frigid,’ someone in miniskirt and makeup is a ‘slapper,’ someone in minimal makeup is ‘mumsy.’ They’re just sexist and nasty.

goodnightgrumble · 10/03/2022 14:43

@TryingPrettyHard

The thing with "glass skin" is that it's not all that natural either, there's about 10 steps involved and nobody's natural skin is that shiny. In my humble opinion it's another expensive con.
What the hell is glass skin?
mrsjackrussell · 10/03/2022 15:05

My eyebrows fell out so I had them tattooed because I got sick of drawing them on. I'm also disabled and my hands don't work properly so I had my eyeliner and lips tattooed aswell. It's so lovely getting up and looking ok. I would never have Botox or surgery though. I don't like the look.

Celoo · 10/03/2022 15:29

I've spent my whole life feeling like I'm too ugly for society. I need a nose job, I have a turkey neck, my chin is too big, my ears stick out. Then a few weeks ago we were out to dinner with some friends and I was chatting to the female of the couple. She's younger than me (30) but does everything going. She was explaining how she was about to have her second nose job because he never liked the first and then would look at getting her boobs done. She's a naturally gorgeous woman but is making herself look worse with cosmetic surgery and it was light a light switching in my head. I instantly thought, why do I care if I have a big nose. Why do I feel the need to look different, just so other people don't see what I see? Why should I care? I'm approaching 40 - what's the point in getting a nose job I might hate afterwards anyway. All that money gone and when I'm sitting in a rocking chair on my 100th birthday I'm not going to give a shit what my nose looks like.