Anyone else feel that they have seen the light with regard to aesthetics and beauty ideals

[Letmetakeaselfie]

Maybe not fully seen the light, but I'm getting there.

I saw a promotion for heavily discounted lip filler near me, I've never had it before and thought I would give it a try.
I got to the clinic and saw the women who worked there.. it sounds horrible to say but they all seemed to have duck lips. In any case it was various obvious that their lips were false, they were protruding from the side.
Just said I couldn't do the appointment anymore and left, I understand they weren't happy.
I suppose I just had a what am I doing moment, and I bet if I had them and liked them I'd want to keep having it, then it'd be something else.
Looking on Instagram and such, there are so many women with very full lips, heavy microbladed eyebrows, heavily contoured face and a nose ring, and overall doll-like features.
I've spent a lot of time wondering if I'd look better if I had xyz aesthetics treatment but I'm staring to see it's not worth it, has anyone else felt like this and maybe stopped having fillers and other treatments?

I just mean it’s only on mumsnet that I see that ‘everyone’ looks like this. I’m at uni so surrounded by young people and they each look vastly unique and different and subscribe to different fashions and makeup looks. Some of them do go for the very glam made up look but many go for different looks and there’s lots of variety if you look online etc.

I've never been anywhere near considering any cosmetic procedures.

I saw the light about fashion and beauty magazines when I was about 20 years old though. How they just make you feel insecure and needing to buy stuff.

I find it very disturbing. These things keep popping up on my Instagram showing famous people before and after surgery and it's made me realise that the majority of "stars" have completely changed their faces. Look at Kylie Jenner, Arianna Grande, the Hadid sisters - the change is totally shocking. We're not talking a nose job but a totally different looking face. How are girls growing up in this toxic, look-obsessed culture supposed to make sense of all this? They must only conclude that in order to be attractive and "successful" you have to completely butcher your face and body and transform into a different person - it's just awful. The look has come from porn culture - huge boobs, arses and lips; fake eyelashes; long nails. It's so sad and I feel heartbroken for girls and young women.

@Wavypuple
Wow, you are just 24 and all of your friends have had full Botox and fillers?
That's beyond depressing. 😞

I suspect there are deep seated reasons for it though - outwardly very confident, but hiding behind a mask

Yes that's it. Also hiding spots and other perceived flaws. The peak of that seemed to be about 13/14 for me and my daughters, after that you start to be a bit more confident and have found a more minimal make up style - if any.

Yes, and will put many beauticians and aestheticians out of work in a recession. But yes, I hope it makes you happy.

My heart won't bleed for them. They can find employment and personal fulfilment in a sector that isn't predicated on encouraging mainly women to loathe their natural looks and perpetually seek improvement.

I am 61 and had Botox for the first time in January. I don't wear makeup and look after my skin but the crevices that appeared on my forehead during lockdown were really getting me down.
I am delighted with the results.
The idea that someone in their 20's think they need treatment is horrific.

There were loads of things going on when I was growing up in the 80s and 90s.

A lot fewer positive role models and a lot more sexism was just accepted day to day. Fucking lad culture in the 90s. Certainly a shit ton of beauty messages and peer pressure. Loads of drugs and alcohol. Loads of pressure to be slim- really, really skinny in fact with gazelle legs.

There is always a load of shit in every era. We solve some problems and create others. Gen Z have their heads screwed on and will be just fine. Older people are always massively alarmed about what is happening with younger people, largely much more than younger people are themselves.

I think some people forget how they looked originally and that when the initial swelling for fillers dies down the feel the need to top up. Then the fillers might make another feature look out of proportion so they get that "fixed" too and it just escalates from there. There also seems to be an addictive element to it as well, just as some people start off with one small tattoo or piercing and end up covered.

I have friends that get botox and fillers. I don't and won't. I might get botox in the future but I don't mind the few crinkles round my eyes as much as some of my friends do. I think fillers look awful. We're mid thirties, I just don't think it's necessary yet and fillers aren't ever necessary (IMO).

No offence but visible aesthetic treatment is a generic standard of beauty. I could look like a TOWIE person if I wanted to pay for it.

I dont like the formula BROWS + FILLER + LIPS + BOOBS + BUM = the perfect look. Its bland. Be the best you not a second rate generic beauty version.

I'm 46 and just focus on trying to keep myself fit and healthy. I don't give a shit about ageing facially and have no wish to look any younger than my age.

Look after your skin, wear SPF and delete instagram for a while

Yes! well said.

I'm not against a bit of Botox/fillers and although I've never had it done myself I wouldn't blame anyone for giving it a whirl (within limits). However, I do find the weird black brows and duck lips bizarre - they never ever look good - just turn an individual into a clone.
What has surprised me is watching The Apprentice - the women look odd and old fashioned with their makeup/fitted dresses/high heels - it's 2022, I thought we might be over women dressing like that (unless they want to).

I always felt, you look like you do for a reason and are probably in proportion.

I'm in my late 50s and my lips have always been sparse..now they've pretty much disappeared. There's no point in me wearing lipstick. If I purse my lips it looks like a cat's bum. I hate it.

I had some fillers done a couple of years ago and bloody loved it. The only trouble is the vast expense and fact that it only lasts five minutes...so it was a one time only thing for me.

The thing with "glass skin" is that it's not all that natural either, there's about 10 steps involved and nobody's natural skin is that shiny. In my humble opinion it's another expensive con.

That was what I was saying in my post though - it doesn’t need to be kardashian or glass skin etc. There are a lot of options nowadays.

If you don’t like the fillers, Botox etc look there are other options, even minimal makeup/the ‘clean’ look, doesn’t always require a lot of makeup. And if you don’t want to wear any you don’t have to. Like if you don’t like fillers just don’t get them! It’s not my experience that ‘everyone’ has them.

I can't say I've seen the light, because I never liked or thought I needed those things in the first place. I really dislike the fake or overdone look whether it's really heavy make-up, cosmetic procedures, excessive fake tan, ott eyelashes or eyebrows etc. And in the case of botox, fillers or cosmetic surgery etc I think it's really sad that sone women are made by social media etc to feel they need to do this to look ok.

I am a 50yo woman who looks like a (not particularly well-groomed, average-looking) 50 yo woman. And that's fine. Because that's what I am. Making my lips bigger wouldn't enhance my life in any way. And would no doubt make me look as silly as the other inflatable lip owners I see.

I am in my fifties and have never had anything like that and don't want it. I think society will get to the point where THAT face, the one that's obviously had fillers etc. will be very undesirable and the natural, unique look, even if that doesn't equal 'beautiful' will be perceived as preferential.

Not to say you should comply with society either way but that is what tends to happen overall. A certain idea is thrust at us so often, it becomes ingrained that that is the desirabe and socially approved.

I'm aware people can have fillers and so on and they look great, still like themselves just better or more rested or healthy looking. But it seems this result can be so seductive it easily leads to wanting it done more often which means as the years go by, it does develop into
THAT look.

I am a beauty therapist. I've always enjoyed my job meeting new people people enjoying their treatments with me and returning.
I saw someone up thread say you wouldn't be bothered if I lost my job. Tbh it's gone seriously downhill anyway since covid and now the cost of living I am absolutely dead hardly any work.
Having said that I specialise in natural nails using shellac and only use a hard gel if the client needs some strength I don't do 4 inch nail extensions with bling 🤑. I don't do fake eyelashes I do lash lifts and tints. I wax and I do facials and massage.
Unfortunately I'm not as popular as I once was but I can live with that I refuse to make people look stupid to earn money and I don't want to earn money from insecurities.
So on the whole I will miss my job and my clients but it's changed so much from when I first started. I could re train I could train in fillers and tattoo brows but I haven't got any passion for that.
It's a shame that this has become so normal and this is the look that a lot of people are going for. I started this job to make people feel better about themselves, maybe to get an hour to relax away from life 🙈

@shellbelle3

I am a beauty therapist. I've always enjoyed my job meeting new people people enjoying their treatments with me and returning. I saw someone up thread say you wouldn't be bothered if I lost my job. Tbh it's gone seriously downhill anyway since covid and now the cost of living I am absolutely dead hardly any work. Having said that I specialise in natural nails using shellac and only use a hard gel if the client needs some strength I don't do 4 inch nail extensions with bling 🤑. I don't do fake eyelashes I do lash lifts and tints. I wax and I do facials and massage. Unfortunately I'm not as popular as I once was but I can live with that I refuse to make people look stupid to earn money and I don't want to earn money from insecurities. So on the whole I will miss my job and my clients but it's changed so much from when I first started. I could re train I could train in fillers and tattoo brows but I haven't got any passion for that. It's a shame that this has become so normal and this is the look that a lot of people are going for. I started this job to make people feel better about themselves, maybe to get an hour to relax away from life 🙈

I'm genuinely sorry to hear you are in this situation. Your heart was truly in it.

There are also forever chemicals in makeup which are having unknown impacts on our bodies and the environmen I can't seem to post a link but there's a recent Guardian article of you're interested.

I do wear makeup but try to limit the number of products to reduce exposure. Also have no time lol.

I think I saw the light when I was 18, approx 40 years ago.

I wear make up sometimes, but have a very small make up bag. I am honestly totally WTF about how some young people groom themselves these days (literally none of the young people I know btw) and if it weren't for social media, instagram, Tik-Tok etc I would have no idea about the time and effort people put in obsessing over how they look. Even mature, grown up people like Trinny Woodall seem so incredibly immature for spending so many hours of their day on it. To me.

Well that's a bit like saying I saw someone in jeans that didn't suit them the other day, so that's me done with fashion. I've seen the light! Lip filler, badly executed, is a world away from discreet botox, skilfully administered for example. I'm not suggesting that anyone should have any procedure, and it's great that you are happy with your natural self, but there are many different types of treatment, for different purposes, and with different results; and while I don't care for filled lips, someone else's would not put me off my botox.