Anyone else feel that they have seen the light with regard to aesthetics and beauty ideals

[Letmetakeaselfie]

Maybe not fully seen the light, but I'm getting there.

I saw a promotion for heavily discounted lip filler near me, I've never had it before and thought I would give it a try.
I got to the clinic and saw the women who worked there.. it sounds horrible to say but they all seemed to have duck lips. In any case it was various obvious that their lips were false, they were protruding from the side.
Just said I couldn't do the appointment anymore and left, I understand they weren't happy.
I suppose I just had a what am I doing moment, and I bet if I had them and liked them I'd want to keep having it, then it'd be something else.
Looking on Instagram and such, there are so many women with very full lips, heavy microbladed eyebrows, heavily contoured face and a nose ring, and overall doll-like features.
I've spent a lot of time wondering if I'd look better if I had xyz aesthetics treatment but I'm staring to see it's not worth it, has anyone else felt like this and maybe stopped having fillers and other treatments?

@Bideshi

Aestheticians??? Would they be disciples of Walter Pater or Aubrey Beardsley. Honestly! the degradation of the language never fails to amaze.

No you're right, OP. It makes women who've all the bloom of youth on their side look like raddled drag queens.

Were those mentioned not aesthetes?

Many years ago I was on a beach in Italy. Behind me were two topless women, it was clear that they had both had boob jobs. Every other woman's boobs had disappeared into their armpits, but these two had boobs that stuck up like Everest. I though then that I wouldn't have any of the 'beauty' treatments that were common then because, truly, it looked so false. I have never been beautiful, but I thought 'better to look natural than to have two hard lumps on my chest'.
If you can achieve a natural look then fine, but too often it looks awful.
Just as an aside do boob jobs not come with an Everest option now?

@FOJN

I worked in a medical aesthetics clinic for a while a few years ago. I think you need a some self restraint and a skilled practitioner for the results to look natural. The women who set the clinic up looked amazing in photographs, both in their late 50's at the time, but in real life they looked like spitting image puppets. I had a tiny bit of Botox but I never had filler because they both looked so awful. There is always the temptation to keep on tinkering, so what may look good when you start having treatments can incrementally increase to something quite unnatural after 20 years.

I think you have hit the nail on the head. It looks amazing in photos and on film and terrible in RL. Initially these things were what actresses/ celebs used but now its women in their 20s I think it causes dreadful sagging , you are messing with the structure of the face. I know several women who have had endless botox and the go through fillers, thread lifts, Profilho and they end up looking very droopy. There are a couple in S&B who have ended up with face lifts. Although I think they are advertising, its always "Im documenting this to help others" Umm my face is fine thanks!

Re the everest boobs, I believe there are 2 ways of putting implants in - above the muscle and below it? One technique produces the giant round beach ball boobs effect and the other is more natural afaik. The beach ball boobs seem to have gone out of fashion now compared to the noughties.

@Alfixnm

You can definetly get far more natural bigger implants now, I believe they’re called “teardrops” or something like that as regards the aesthetic. Why anyone would want the bolt ons I don’t know.

@shellbelle3

I am a beauty therapist. I've always enjoyed my job meeting new people people enjoying their treatments with me and returning. I saw someone up thread say you wouldn't be bothered if I lost my job. Tbh it's gone seriously downhill anyway since covid and now the cost of living I am absolutely dead hardly any work. Having said that I specialise in natural nails using shellac and only use a hard gel if the client needs some strength I don't do 4 inch nail extensions with bling 🤑. I don't do fake eyelashes I do lash lifts and tints. I wax and I do facials and massage. Unfortunately I'm not as popular as I once was but I can live with that I refuse to make people look stupid to earn money and I don't want to earn money from insecurities. So on the whole I will miss my job and my clients but it's changed so much from when I first started. I could re train I could train in fillers and tattoo brows but I haven't got any passion for that. It's a shame that this has become so normal and this is the look that a lot of people are going for. I started this job to make people feel better about themselves, maybe to get an hour to relax away from life 🙈

You sound like my beauty therapist and I love her for that! The whole Botox fillers thing is mad! For women in their 20’s just no! I prefer to spend my money on clothes I love and experiences I love!

I had a bit of a lightbulb moment about this too recently. A colleague (widely considered the pretty, glamorous team member) came in after a week off having blatantly had Botox. Her eyebrows don't move and they definitely used to.

Her forehead is indeed wrinkle free to the point of being shiny. It has the unfortunate effect however of making the other wrinkles on her face stand out more and overall she looks older, despite the baby smooth forehead. It looks jarring.

It also makes me ponder that because she is used to being considered 'the pretty one', that the aging process is hitting her harder than us mere Plain Jane'. I was plain then, I'm plain now, and I won't be spending thousands of pounds a year trying to fight it.

@Mojoj

If you notice Botox and fillers, then it's been badly done. Good for you if you're happy to let nature take its course and embrace your aging face. I don't judge either way.

This exactly. 😃 Well placed Botox and fillers are completely undetectable.

I saw a programme before and they had carried out a study. They showed a photo of a woman with hugely inflated lips and asked what the participants thought of it. A huge percentage said it looks unnatural and strange looking.

Then they showed them loads of photos of celebrities and women with even bigger lips for a while.

Then they showed the people the original photo again and asked them the same question again.

Most of the participants thought the huge lips looked normal after being exposed to it!

So, the more we see it, the more normal it becomes.

It will be us that looks weird eventually

I can't agree with this, for lip fillers anyway. From the front, or in pictures, they can look quite natural. In real life you can always spot them. It's the side profile that gives it away, it makes the upper lip especially sit unnaturally.

If it what you're into then fair play (same with long, jazzy nails, make up, fake tan etc.). But natural looking they ain't.

@InsideTheNet

I'm not against a bit of Botox/fillers and although I've never had it done myself I wouldn't blame anyone for giving it a whirl (within limits). However, I do find the weird black brows and duck lips bizarre - they never ever look good - just turn an individual into a clone. What has surprised me is watching The Apprentice - the women look odd and old fashioned with their makeup/fitted dresses/high heels - it's 2022, I thought we might be over women dressing like that (unless they want to).

What has surprised me is watching The Apprentice - the women look odd and old fashioned with their makeup/fitted dresses/high heels - it's 2022, I thought we might be over women dressing like that (unless they want to).

Yes I thought that. I bet they are told you dress like that by the producers. I don’t know anyone who dresses like that in work anymore.

Are runway models really any better or more normal than the porn inspired look though?

I think it's quite interesting how the catwalk models look completely different to the popular Instagram-type look. That style doesn't seem to have transferred to the fashion side of thing at all. They often seem quite androgynous or angular. I don't think either look is anything to aspire to but it's a change from when I was young in the 90s and everyone wanted to look like a model.

@raspberryjamchicken

But equally the fashion industry (as in the runways and big models) don’t seem to make any impact on popular culture whatever.

I guess in the 90’s models were comparatively more famous and many were dating famous guys etc. compare that to now and it’s young girls more interested in the types online we’re talking about, who are really models anyway - they’re just social media models - who even knows any runway models now?

I’m sure surgery is rife in the fashion industry too anyhow. I guess models have always looked kind of weird IMO for a long time. Yes there are women who look like them but it’s not really a look many actually seem to try for. If you see catwalk models in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s even 80’s they’re far more normal looking than today or even the ultra skinny models of the 90’s. Part of it’s probably the insanely unwearable clothes which no normal person would be seen in that they seem to want to push front and center as the image of fashion. It really is bizzare.

I keep thinking a natural look ie a really natural look so virtually no makeup, hair as it is, will be the style for youngsters soon (eg greta thunberg) but no, the styles are just more and more odd, in their attempt not to be what the previous generation wore.
The dark eyebrows, thick eyelashes, hair extensions - everyone looks similar.
Perhaps there are exceptions today but I probably don't look in the right places.

I will not let anyone near me with a needle or surgical equipment ever unless it's medically relevant.

Im not and never have been interested in make up though. It takes too long and costs a lot for decent stuff. I've bought cleanser, toner and moisturiser to keep my skin healthy as it does look awful without any help, plus the moisturiser has spf 30 in it and I'm outdoors a lot. That's all I've got.

The fillers do look obvious even when people think they don't. It's usually obvious when someone has had a boob job, or any kind of work. I wish more people felt confident enough in themselves to not need it. It sucks that they think its necessary.

Well placed Botox and fillers are completely undetectable.

I think the number of sessions much make a difference - skin can get that smooth plasticky sheen, also there are sometimes lumps and bumps eg a slightly lumpy forehead instead of a lined one.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

I feel lately like there's no point in using all the anti-wrinkle potions I've got - I'm in my forties, I'm going to get wrinkles, especially as I don't ever plan on having Botox or fillers. I'll still look after my skin and use a moisturiser and SPF, but I think I'm accepting that I can't turn back the clock.

Ditto my grey hairs. I've stopped dying them, partly because I can't be arsed, but mostly because not having grey hairs is still not going to make me look like I'm in my 20s.

I think basically I still want to look after myself and make the best of myself, but I'm gradually stopping equating that with looking young.

I noticed in my Pilates class the other day the number of women who'd clearly had cheek and lip fillers and Botox. None of them looked "young", they looked like older women who've had work done. There's a freshness to youth that just can't be emulated. Older women can still look absolutely stunning - I know many who do - but they don't look like young women. And that should be ok.

I don't know why people think its about trying to 'emulate the freshness of youth'. I don't have treatments to try and emulate young women. Some young women are beautiful, others are plain, just like older women. It's not a competition. I'm happy with my 50s self, and objectively look way better than i did in my 20s. For me it's about changes in my face brought about through weight loss that caused volume loss in my cheeks, and 11s caused by migraine. Together these things made me look frowny and miserable, which isn't who I am. I don't know whether I look younger or not. Probably, given I'm told I look young, but I truly don't care. I want to look good, and to me that's not synonymous with looking young.

@3luckystars

I saw a programme before and they had carried out a study. They showed a photo of a woman with hugely inflated lips and asked what the participants thought of it. A huge percentage said it looks unnatural and strange looking.

Then they showed them loads of photos of celebrities and women with even bigger lips for a while.

Then they showed the people the original photo again and asked them the same question again.

Most of the participants thought the huge lips looked normal after being exposed to it!

So, the more we see it, the more normal it becomes.

It will be us that looks weird eventually

Surely they remembered the photo from being shown it just before the previous ones? So it doesn’t sound like a very well controlled study because they would either give the same answer because they remember what they gave before or twig the point of the study and be swayed by that.

I’m interested in the whole ‘if you can tell they’ve had Botox it’s done badly’
I’d have it myself if I saw some good examples of people who’ve had it done well but I’m not sure I’ve seen any yet. I just wonder that if you can’t tell they’ve had it then maybe that’s just because it’s been such a light touch that it’s basically had no effect.
Most people I know who have it look ok until they start to talk and then their face just doesn’t move the way it should. Or they have a very obvious frozen patch between their eyebrows where they’ve had the ‘11s’ frozen.

And all those older celebrities who look suspiciously good for their age have probably has facelifts and not bothered too much with Botox/fillers

@BigOlDingleSlinger69 yes, I see your point there, and you're right really, that look isn't good, either. I wasn't suggesting anyone should be influenced by high fashion, but I find it more understandable than aspiring to look like porn 'stars'.

To each their own but IMO I hate it , when I see young girls/ladies with these heavily injected altered faces i find it repulsive!!! What happened to natural beauty. In photos you can’t tell how bad it look but up close and personal it looks not good the lip injections look awful !!!

I think if you have them done to balance out an uneven mouth (eg: arger bottom lip smaller top lip) then great …

A neghbour had it done and when I stopped to talk to her I got such a shock her lips looked like a puckered Ahole and her lips were discoloured like poo lol sorry

@PersephonePomegranate

Well they’re not really aspiring to look like porn stars (or strippers which is a part of it too) it’s just that that look might have been the inspiration for a music video or whatever and then that makes it’s way onto a YouTube video, then a celeb does it, then it catches on etc.
It’s not like every other chick is saying “I want to look like whatever did on filledlipbangers.com”

A lot of popular looks through history have probably started with strange sources that have little to do with why they’ve actually caught on.

@PersephonePomegranate

*whoever did

@PersephonePomegranate

The most shocking thing to me is that big fat eyebrows somehow become kind of popular. To the best of my knowledge that’s never been considered attractive for women in all of history. Although it seems to be more with celebs and online and not irl (at least where I live).

I've not worn a full face of make up for about 10 years. I rarely did beforehand to be fair. I hate the filler / contoured look. I honestly haven't got the energy or the money now to maintain it. I'm happy enough with how I look and as kind as that matters no one else should care