To sell up and move to the seaside

[Lifeissuch]

We’ve fully renovated our home and did all the work ourselves so managed to make profit and finally afford to move to the seaside. We have 3 very young children - 6, 2, 6mo (eldest has spent 2 years establishing friends and community in their school).

Me and DH just haven’t clicked with the area we live in now though (been here 2yrs) and want to move to the seaside (over 2hr away) and possibly go self employed with a catering business (we have no prior experience in this but very enthusiastic and hard working).

Dilemma is; I’m worried sick that because we’d be moving to a marginally smaller house (another fixer upper so full renovation needed again), smaller garden, long commute for DH until we go self employed or he finds something closer in his field (1.5hrs - 3hr round trip), no family or friends nearby and new school for eldest, I worry if we’re making the right decision. I feel somewhat selfish because we’re forcing us but mainly our children to ‘start all over again’ (new career, new home to fully renovate, new school, new friends to make etc..). But we would have a whole transformation of lifestyle, we don’t rely on family and friends for childcare or anything else and hardly see them now anyway, we would be living where we’ve been going on holidays for years gone so it’s a bit of a dream move.

Has anyone else been in a similar position and regretted/happy that they did it?

No direct experience but my parents wanted to do this when their kids were the exact ages yours are and ended up glad they didn't. I would talk a lot to people who run their own catering businesses before you do anything rash, as you won't have much spare time. Sorry to be negative.

Opening a business you've no experience in is madness if you're going to rely on the income. A local, and very busy, cafe here is about to close as they can no longer cover their gas and electricity bills.

People's finances are about to change dramatically for the worse - is there a call for what you want to offer in the area you want to live in?

How long is a 3hr commute sustainable for DH? Is there any work in that area for his skillset? What do local wages look like?

It sounds like a rubbish idea to be honest OP! Also what is the seaside town like? What do the teenagers there do in their spare time? Are there many prospects for your kids as they get older? Are the schools nicer than the current ones? Your self employed ideas don’t sound amazingly compatible with renovations. I can’t see how it sounds any happier than your current set up really.

I think your kids are at a great age to make a move. We just moved nearly 2 hours away from where our dc were born (they're 9 & 4) and it's been absolutely fine in terms of making friends and settling in. We're not by the seaside though, but did move from one rural area to another in a different part of the country.

What I would not do though is bank on starting up a new business to support this change. Running your own business is hard work (dh is self-employed, I am employed mostly working from home but have a longer commute than your dh would). The commute is fine (though you must factor in cost - fuel and train fares are expensive). But it takes years to establish a successful business. Catering businesses, especially in coastal areas, tend to be seasonal. Even if you are doing say weddings and birthdays, there are a lot less of them off season when the tourists and second home owners go home. Dh works in a related field (he works with chefs and caterers) and so many of them go bust. You really have to know what you're doing, be social media savvy, be able to network, etc. What about just getting normal jobs that you know can support your costs of living until you settle in and get a feel for the lay of the land, aren't so much outsiders anymore, etc? Are there career opportunities there for you in other areas?

From my very limited experience doing bar work I would say that a catering business does not work well with a young family if you are both required to work at it. Very long hours, high levels of competition, seasonal customer base etc.

I would love to live by the sea though. Is there a way for your dh/you to get a job there and then move?

From the kids point of view, it's fine. From the adult and financial perspective it needs more solid planning and less fantasy.

Re your current area, what is it like? It's been a strange 2y to feel connected. If it's nice on paper, I'd give it a bit longer in less pandemic times.

It depends on your motivation. Have you always desperately wanted to live beside the sea? What is that makes you want this? Or is it the lure of working for yourselves? And is this really the best time to take the risk?

If you just don't live the area you live in there are other less risky options.

Haven't you noticed that the hospitality industry is on its knees? Haven't you noticed that we are approaching a recession and little treats like meals and drinks out will stop for so many people? You must have noticed we are in a fuel crisis. What would you do with those customers to come in and have a cup of tea and stay all day? This really isn't the time for you to do this.

It’s a beautiful quaint seaside town, lots going on for the children as they grow up, the teenagers in the area have the same as any other town (cinema, arcades, swimming, nice restaurants, shopping etc..).

The self employed business wouldn’t be for another 2+ years until renovations are complete and youngest 2 are in school/nursery. I beg to differ on the madness of starting the business without experience, most self employed businesses start somewhere, we’re not looking to be millionaires from it, just pay the bills which it would. DH will be looking for employment nearby in his field in the interim until we find our feet.

We’re not completely delusional haha, we understand competition, seasons etc.. but we would bank on that and the places we’d be working in (mobile catering) would work on campsites that are open 10.5 months of the year. We also have ‘rainy day’ savings that we wouldn’t touch and DH could always dip back into his current career. Like I said in the post, the business idea is only a possibility we’re more banking on DH working. He also has an electric car (good range) so costs aren’t too high to commute.

@HollowTalk The main focus is on the actual move and concern for my DC, not making a business in hospitality. So please stop with the patronising ‘are you living under a rock’ questions.

The business is a possibility as I mentioned. The post does not ask if I should set up a hospitality business close to a recession, it asks about a move to the seaside.

my parents did it & it's in no way as idyllic as they expected. They don't go anywhere, especially in the summer when the towns/beaches are crowded & are now 5 hours away from the entire family.

I also wouldn't jump into being self employed in a industry you both have no knowledge of. Surely more sensible to get a job a catering for a short while first to learn

It's so seasonal. You would be busy in summer but dead for half the year. Very stressful and difficult

Thank you for the replies however people seem to be focussing on the prospect of us ‘possibly going self employed’ rather than the actual question of moving to the seaside/new area and impact that has in general.

I’m asking asking about a move 2hours away and living by the sea in general rather than advice on going self employed.

Moved out of 2bed flat in London for our 4bed house with a seaview. It was a scary move, total change in careers, but 20yrs later don't regret spending after school/weekends/holidays on the beach with my children.

If you're not going to accept constructive feedback from others, then don't ask for any advice.

If you have the finances, then crack on.

I grew up in a "quaint seaside town" and every one of my mates escaped the area the moment we could. Lack of jobs, lack of prospects, poor public transport, no chance of getting on the housing ladder, a town that closed from late October to April is not a great place for teenagers despite "cinema, arcades, nice restaurants". I was always out of work in the winter except for Xmas holidays, it's no way to live. I left at 18 and never returned. Only a couple of my year group returned actually, and they are all teachers. The rest of us went to university, joined the military or found year round work away from the coast.

Coastal living is a privilege for the rich these days. And I live near a poor part of the Cornish coast. I couldn't afford to return to my home town - houses there are double what they are here, but my job prospects here are significantly better.

It's the bit about the catering business without experience that worries me.

we would be living where we’ve been going on holidays for years gone so it’s a bit of a dream move

Have you spent a week there off-season?
I would really recommend doing that first if you haven't already. I lived in a seaside town for a year as a teenager, it was pretty bleak in winter. Everything is closed, the weather is much more extreme than inland and there's only so many blustery walks you can go on.

@SilverHairedCat great input thanks! This is what I wanted to know, obviously seaside living is alien to me and we really want to give the kids the best life. We both grew up on council estates very much townies so to us working class moving out there is what everyone dreams of from where we’re from but hearing the realities and of actually living there is what we need. Everyone we grew up with moved away also, not that there was lack of work just more of an escape from poverty/spread their wings kind of thing.

Thanks again.

I think your children are young enough to adapt and in my experience, living by the sea, my DD (now 18) had a lovely childhood, playing at the beach, rock pooling, arcades etc. Even at her age now, she'll meet friends at the beach in Summer and we've got both popular beaches and secluded ones that 'tourists' don't visit.
I can't really comment on your potential new business, as like others have said, it won't be easy, but you're not planning it just yet and have funds to fall back on.
I wouldn't want to live anywhere else tbh - I love the sea, beach and harbour in all seasons.

@AwkwardPaws27 yes we go there a few times a year (just stayed in feb) and it was fab, everything was still open and still very lively albeit not as crowded but still just as great.

@Livebythecoast @Seasidemumma77 this is promising, me and DH have come from a city council estate and this is exactly what we want to give our children, we know it’s not all rock and candy floss all year round but we love water sports as a family and very outdoorsy so it would be a massive lifestyle change for the better for us. Thanks for commenting.

From the children's point of view I think they'll be fine. Everyone goes to the beach after school here for a picnic or a quick ice cream so they, as kids do, mix naturally
It depends where you are moving to though. Everywhere is different

People, including me, move their teen children overseas even. I don't think a 6 and a 2 year old should have any problems adapting.

I've done it twice and regretted it.
The sea was always there so I never bothered going down to the sea apart from weekends in summer, anywhere by the sea is miles from civilisation and work.
Its freezing in winter and the salt destroys your car.
I feel like i've got the best of both worlds now. I live in mid Somerset and its 3/4 of an hour drive to Devon's jurrassic coast and half an hour to the Somerset beaches yet just a short drive to work.
I enjoy the beach much more when I drive there at the weekend to when I lived by it because it's a real treat yet not that far.
The dream is far better than the reality.

My dh comes from a seaside town. I was brought up quite near to coast as well so we fully get the pull towards the coast. We always feel better in ourselves walking along coast, looking at sea. I think you sound hard working as almost renovated home on your own, despite having 3 young children. I think moving when children young is best as they get all the benefits of coastal living in formative years. In town where DH grew up he has a school friend who has done very well out of a cafe, despite so many people telling her there would not be enough customers, it is seasonal etc. What she has done is add lunch deliveries. In seaside towns you often get quite a few elderly people who want a nice hot lunch delivered every day at lunch time. I know she makes traditional meals such as macceroni cheese, spaghetti Bolognese, casteroles, pasta bakes, sausages and mash, fish and chips all with vegetables. She sells some in cafe then her DH does lunch deliveries. She also has a full snack menu like toasties, omelette, beans on toast, crepes. Her DH sells breakfast at campsite too. Mostly bacon roll, sausage bap etc. They make enough during summer months to be able to fully support these during winter months. I think so much depends on motivation and hard work. We go to see them a couple of times each year and I know my dh is envious and often says we should do it too. I wish you all the luck in the world if you go ahead. You have savings behind you but make sure you do your research. Check out if there is demand for hot lunches delivered as these are wanted all year round so not seasonal.