To sell up and move to the seaside

[Lifeissuch]

We’ve fully renovated our home and did all the work ourselves so managed to make profit and finally afford to move to the seaside. We have 3 very young children - 6, 2, 6mo (eldest has spent 2 years establishing friends and community in their school).

Me and DH just haven’t clicked with the area we live in now though (been here 2yrs) and want to move to the seaside (over 2hr away) and possibly go self employed with a catering business (we have no prior experience in this but very enthusiastic and hard working).

Dilemma is; I’m worried sick that because we’d be moving to a marginally smaller house (another fixer upper so full renovation needed again), smaller garden, long commute for DH until we go self employed or he finds something closer in his field (1.5hrs - 3hr round trip), no family or friends nearby and new school for eldest, I worry if we’re making the right decision. I feel somewhat selfish because we’re forcing us but mainly our children to ‘start all over again’ (new career, new home to fully renovate, new school, new friends to make etc..). But we would have a whole transformation of lifestyle, we don’t rely on family and friends for childcare or anything else and hardly see them now anyway, we would be living where we’ve been going on holidays for years gone so it’s a bit of a dream move.

Has anyone else been in a similar position and regretted/happy that they did it?

I think you're listening to all the plus points people are telling you and ignoring the (many) negatives.

fwiw I did move to a seaside town with young children. My advice:

• yes it's easy to move small children anywhere. They are adaptable and they can settle in well (provided you get schools rights etc). You'll settle in well too - it's easy to make friends if you have small kids.
• have a job in the town you live in. Commuting is horrible. My H hated it, and I ended up moving back to London because of work

• what's right for a small child isn't right for a teenager
• you'd be crazy to start a catering business now or indeed any time. And even more crazy because you have young children. And even more crazy because you have no experience.

The commute is doable if he can WFH some days a week. However a long commute is a choice to spend a big chunk of his free time driving, and not seeing his kids. That is a big sacrifice if he is keen to spend time with DC. I would maybe either agree WFH with his current job or get a new job that allows this first (which shouldn't be too difficult if it's an office job these days.)

On the positive side it's a great time for DC to move. It won't affect the baby and the older 2 will be fine. But it has to work for the adults too.

Carpe Diem and all that. It'll only get harder as they get older.

We moved to the seaside. We are very rural though so not the same as say moving to Brighton. Our dc were 9 and 2 when we moved. Upsides, beach, water sports country living, nice pubs and a strong community, kids love it.Downsides, manic in summer, parking at beach hellish unless you frog March the family out by 9am, country lanes very busy, can be impossible to get a table at said nice pubs, we have poor hospital facilities as well. Your DH commute also needs to be considered as long term he might find it too much. I know you do not want to talk about hospitality business, however you should be aware that in tourist spots they can be difficult to run and often they do fold, also you will be flat out at the one time of the year you could enjoy the sea. What people have said about drugs is a reality in seaside villages and towns, you do not escape it but we do not have huge issues and crime is very low. We love it!

Moving to the seaside is really no different than moving anywhere else with small children, except the economic opportunities can be more challenging because of the lifestyle.

But moving with young children is totally fine. They really do adjust easily. It's all the other complicating factors that need working out: can you afford it? Is there work for you both long-term? What about schools and wraparound care (especially if you will be working unsociable hours)? For your small children, what about nursery? That's the same as everywhere though.

@mumonthehill

We moved to the seaside. We are very rural though so not the same as say moving to Brighton. Our dc were 9 and 2 when we moved. Upsides, beach, water sports country living, nice pubs and a strong community, kids love it.Downsides, manic in summer, parking at beach hellish unless you frog March the family out by 9am, country lanes very busy, can be impossible to get a table at said nice pubs, we have poor hospital facilities as well. Your DH commute also needs to be considered as long term he might find it too much. I know you do not want to talk about hospitality business, however you should be aware that in tourist spots they can be difficult to run and often they do fold, also you will be flat out at the one time of the year you could enjoy the sea. What people have said about drugs is a reality in seaside villages and towns, you do not escape it but we do not have huge issues and crime is very low. We love it!

I couldn't agree more about the lanes (oh the bloody lanes that give me nightmares, why do visitors think that it is OK to belt round bends in a narrow lane at 30 mph?)

Also yes to the hospitals, seems almost normal for people to have to travel up to 100 miles to hospitals in other areas as ours don't have the facilities/expertise. A&E hellish in holiday season as well, last time I was in hospital I was surrounded by holiday makers who had been admitted from A&E with heart attacks.

@Lifeissuch

Once again.. I’m from a northern council estate and well aware of drug users, Alcoholics, benefit swindlers and the like. You get it everywhere, even by the seaside.. I get it, however my children won’t be readily around drug abusers, I’ve been going to said quaint seaside town for 31 years, I’m well aware of the likes of Blackpool and Rhyl and this is not the case for where we’re looking at moving to.

@Dobbysgotthesocks I’m sorry for what you’re experiencing but we’re worlds apart in what you’re describing, we’re not buying/paying over inflated prices for tourists and their second homes we will be living there. People move, people set up new lives, me and my children aren’t lucky enough to have been born somewhere idyllic like you was, you can’t begrudge working class people that came from nothing in bettering their and their children’s life by saying let us be and stay where you are in your shit hole. I can understand if someone posted asking if buying a seaside property to let would be profitable but Im not and I am buying a family home to make a life and contribute locally so don’t assume I’m being inconsiderate and robbing a poor local of a roof over their head because that’s not the case here.

@Lifeissuch no it is people like you MOVING to the seaside that is making an already shit situation even worse. I'm sorry but I do know what I'm talking about. And as for being "lucky enough" to live here already!!!! You have no idea of how hard it is for those of us working class people who do essential roles in these places. None at all.

So I repeat please reconsider!!!

I would be really wary about schools...maybe do your research and really look at the opportunity and grades...we considered it but the educational outcomes were not as good as where we were... and although results aren't everything ...many of the senior schools didn't have 6th forms, offered less languages, had lower proportion of kids going to university poorer progress8.etc primary schools had lower ks2 results, SEN support by local authorities harder to get....etcetc.

Things may have changed as dc now adults but education funding has been decimated over years , but there has been recognition that coastal towns are poorer resourced so maybe things have got better..

We didn't move for a few reasons but that was a big part.....
You haven't said where your looking at so may not be an issue...

We moved from a city to DH's coastal hometown 4 years ago. It has so many pros in the summer - beach on your doorstep, arcades for the kids, endless ice creams and fish and chips.

It has a lot of cons aswell though -
Public transport can be non-existant in some areas.
It's bloody freezing in winter! Sometimes it can be cooler in the summer too because of the sea breeze. Snow never lays either because of the salt in the air.
Depending on which seaside town it is, work can be seasonal. Unemployment and bored kids causing trouble over the winter might mean that is not actually an idyllic place.
Caravans! So many caravans! Trying to commute to work around bank holidays can be hellish because of all the holiday makers heading to the coast.

@Dobbysgotthesocks I guess I’m about to find out

@Lifeissuch - I bet you're so glad you started this thread aren't you?.
It can be a lovely lifestyle depending where you go and you're not going to a massive kiss me quick hats and jellied eels town and I'm sure you won't be returning to MN in years to come crying that your children have left home at 18 as there's no job prospects (if they haven't turned into drug addicts before then of course).
Fwiw, we have bars, restaurants, good shops, cinema, theatre, good schools and college - all open in Winter too! We have beautiful secluded beaches away from the tourist areas and buses all year round too and I'm not in a big seaside town.

Some people love towns and cities, some love living in the country - there are pros and cons anywhere you live but our coastal life is perfect for us

I live by the sea & it can be horrible.

It's all well & good on a nice day if the place isn't jam packed with tourists, but loads of plants don't like to grow because of the salt in the air, on the nicest day we have a stiff breeze, in the winter the storms can be awful & a lot of places are seasonal so not really open in the winter anyway (worth checking).

We've had snow for less than a week total (a day here, a day there) in the past decade because it doesn't stick to the ground so have to travel to ever find enough snow for my son to have a snowball fight or even enough to make a snow angel.
The constant wind means it's always really cold in the winter though so heating costs are far higher than when I lived inland.

I'd also check for seagulls.
Tourists feed the nasty little creatures & in some areas they have become so used to this they will literally dive straight at a baby, child or adult to snatch food from you - even if it's halfway into your mouth at the time.
If you ever had a seagull fly into your face you'd never consider eating outside again.
Not far from me is an area where mothers are warned not to let their babies in pushchairs have anything in their hands due to seagull attacks because babies have got hurt.

Your cashflow if you want to open a business or even chance of finding local work may be seasonal depending on which bit of 'seaside' you want to go to.

Not all coastal places are seasonal, but a lot that get called 'the seaside' are.

I'd try letting a place in the off season & seeing what it's really like before you consider moving anywhere.
What it looks like when you visit in season as a tourist may be nothing like what it is like on a dreary January afternoon in the rain.

Also, don't forget a lot of more rural/coastal kids have to leave the place they grew up in if they want even half a chance at a career.
Just because there are kids living there, doesn't mean you won't be making it harder for your kids to get on in life when they leave education because you may no longer live somewhere they have a chance of getting a job with any prospects.

Anyone who goes into catering at the moment, especially with no/limited experience, is an absolute idiot.
Read the room

• energy costs soaring
• food costs soaring
• recruitment difficult
• staff costs soaring

We're heading for a major recession - No-one will be able to wat out/ have events catered.

Don't do this, don't move, learn to lock where you are & what you have.

We moved to live in a seaside town many years ago.

It's great and the kids have thrived but the tourist season is brutal, so many forget that people actually live here and swan about as if we should be grateful they are gracing us with their presence.

The local people was very welcoming and the class sizes in school were much smaller than where we moved from.

However, more and more people are choosing to move here post lockdowns. Most are shocked at how harsh winters are and how rural we actually are. It's not an easy transition to make to tread with caution.

Your business plans don't sound compatible with having 3 v young children.

@Livebythecoast I know.. especially considering seagulls are going to eat my baby!!!!

My stepdad bought a seaside holiday flat and agree with others it’s bleak in the winter.

Childhood friend bought a seaside house and lives there with his DW and 2 kids. He likes it but his parents died when he was a child and he wanted a more relaxed way of life. He’s self employed and his DW works.

Anyone else I know who’s younger and lives by the seaside has come from similar places eg Calais and done the same here. I dated someone who lived in a larger seaside port town but came from a seaside village and he said work was very limited re employers and also people. He eventually left to buy a house in London but he spent lots of money commuting to London for work, I know another couple in a similar position, both work in London but live just inland from the sea.

I would think long and hard about it and do a trial run.

Oh actually on the plus side I know a couple who retired and moved to Devon but they had family nearby and had been on holiday there for years and grown up there. Sadly the father died suddenly not long after they moved there, the daughter and her family then moved from London suburbs to the coast and the family to be fair have really flourished, kids are now teenagers but love outdoor life abc water sports. Luckily the parents could pay for private schools for the DC which was also a bonus. I don’t think they’d have the same lifestyle in London.

OP you asked for pros and cons based on people's experiences, why are you so outraged that people are pointing out some of the cons? Were you only wanting people to reassure you that it will be blissfully idyllic?

I live by the sea, I like it but don’t find it that different from where I lived before. We don’t go to the beach much as my young son finds it boring and would rather go to the playground or the swimming pool, or play with his toys in the sandpit at home. In summer there are so many tourists around that you can’t park anywhere and have to queue for ages just to get a drink in the local pub, book a restaurant table days in advance etc.

I’d rather live inland in a non-tourist area tbh.

The bit that stuck out to me was long commute for your DH, renovation, plus very young children.

Personally, I wouldn't want that combination - dealing with the renovation and young children with your DH around much less due to the commute. And what about your job?

Bear on mind you only have half the catchment area for business when you live by the sea. So unless you business is coastal based (e.g.sea fishing, wreck
diving, or sea gull bashing) you immediately limit your market.

Will you say where you're planning to go OP? It might help with some perspective.

For what it's worth I am a townie living in a seaside town (quaint areas but not a quaint town I wouldn't say) and there are lots of reasons that I wouldn't move here if I'd known then what I know now. Not least: few jobs and poor wages; pockets of extreme deprivation; little opportunity for young people many of whom move away the minute they get the chance, leaving an elderly population.

Saying that, if your heart's set on it I'd move sooner rather than later as house prices are increasing in seaside towns as people invest in holiday lets.

So many weird comments on this thread about the problems of finding a job in coastal places because 'seasonal'

You can tell which posters have never lived anywhere near the coast. I think they believe anyone living within 10 miles of the sea must work at the local pier selling ice-cream and nothing else exists

I live in a coastal town - the beach is a 5 minute walk away and I have sea views. I work for a Bank in a professional role. We have solicitors, doctors, nurses, teachers, retail, hospitality the same as everywhere else.

If you're moving somewhere extremely rural and coastal with nothing about - yes, difficult. There are hundreds of coastal towns and Cities however where normal life, normal jobs, exist. You just get the benefit of being near beautiful coastlines too.

I am not going to comment on your business plan too much as I think other people already have rightly pointed out the possible issue particularly when you are not supporting yourself but also have kids. I would ask though what will be your unique selling point?

One issue I will raise is something that sounds small but can make a big impact on day to day life and that is parking. I have relative who lived in a sea-side town and did not have a driveway. During the high season they often had to park a mile or significantly more away from their house. This made getting to work, the school run much much longer to the point that once their kids finished school they sold up and left the area.

I am not going to tell you what might be ahead, just want to say that you should go into it with your eyes wide open. Rural secondary schools massively underperform. Drugs, hard drugs, are a serious problem in many otherwise idyllic areas because there's not a lot else to do. My lovely friend's son died homeless after an overdose. Public sector jobs are likely to be the best paid work and the competition for them is fierce. A standard teaching job in our area is going to attract several hundred applications. Ditto nursing.