To sell up and move to the seaside

[Lifeissuch]

We’ve fully renovated our home and did all the work ourselves so managed to make profit and finally afford to move to the seaside. We have 3 very young children - 6, 2, 6mo (eldest has spent 2 years establishing friends and community in their school).

Me and DH just haven’t clicked with the area we live in now though (been here 2yrs) and want to move to the seaside (over 2hr away) and possibly go self employed with a catering business (we have no prior experience in this but very enthusiastic and hard working).

Dilemma is; I’m worried sick that because we’d be moving to a marginally smaller house (another fixer upper so full renovation needed again), smaller garden, long commute for DH until we go self employed or he finds something closer in his field (1.5hrs - 3hr round trip), no family or friends nearby and new school for eldest, I worry if we’re making the right decision. I feel somewhat selfish because we’re forcing us but mainly our children to ‘start all over again’ (new career, new home to fully renovate, new school, new friends to make etc..). But we would have a whole transformation of lifestyle, we don’t rely on family and friends for childcare or anything else and hardly see them now anyway, we would be living where we’ve been going on holidays for years gone so it’s a bit of a dream move.

Has anyone else been in a similar position and regretted/happy that they did it?

Don't underestimate how hard it is running a business and how much money you'll need to get it going.

That's all I'll say on that. But living by the sea is brilliant. Especially with small children, I live 5-10 minutes drive from some lovely beaches but i live in a medium sized town with good facilities. We don't get super busy here in the summer and we have excellent transport links and motorways. I would no way move to be by the sea somewhere like Devon or Cornwall where most of the roads are piddly little country roads and you can't enjoy the beaches in summer because they're so packed. Trying to get the kids to school and do your supermarket shop in tourist towns in Cornwall must be a nightmare.

We live in a seaside town which is not really a touristy place. The amenities open in summer are, here, open all year round. Yes, many young adults move away for different job opportunities but many stay, all depends on the job sector they want to work in. My children, now teens and adults, always tell people about: having dinner on the beach after school in summer; exploring the beach in winter; braving stormy seafront walks.

Op be prepared to be flexible about the jobs you are willing to take, even if just initially. When you live by the sea there are less job opportunities, simply because if you do a job search with a radius from your home, a whole chunk is in the sea!

Yes I did. When my husband passed away I moved 70 miles to the sea. My kids were 6 and 8.
My eldest settled in faster as he made a conscientious effort to fit in, my daughter struggled but after a couple years was ok. I was lucky that I met other mums who had also moved and were open to making new friends, and were also closer to my age (all of us having had kids in our 40s). I pushed it though - I'm pretty bold and good at organising get togethers.
However, I did not have to get a job - I was self employed and had other income. I also already had a holiday home there so moved in to that and rented out my old place in case in didn't work out. I also sent my kids to private school as these 'quaint' village schools were inadequate - very small class sizes, uneven teaching, discipline issues across the board. Secondaries did not have a good reputation.
And yes - on paper there's plenty for kids 'to do', but it's still pretty provincial in attitude and outlook, and once 16-18 there's no work unless you are into hospitality or retail, neither pay much. Basically the majority leave the area at 18, those that don't have FOMO and feel left behind.
The catering industry has one of the highest failure rates. Unless you have frugal lifestyle you may well struggle.
Now my kids are 16 snd 18 and I've moved back to London. While my kids may eventually want a more rural lifestyle at the moment this is where the best education and opportunities exist.

I've done it, I am here now! I didn't have children though.

I gave up my job and home of 20 years and started a business that I had no experience in. It has succeeded behind my wildest dreams, although I am worried about the impact of the war and fuel bills in the future.

I also totally renovated a house and overgrown acre garden, renovated a cottage in the garden and had a shepherds hut built on site. I was 53 and we borrowed every penny we spent!

Friends said we were 'brave' though I think some meant 'mad'. For the first year I commuted 8 hours to do my old job ( only 2 days a week)

I'm really proud of what we have achieved. We will never be wealthy, but when I go back to visit friends and family so many are on the hamster wheel with the big posh cars and spending money on stuff they don't need.

My biggest piece of advice is about location. You absolutely have to get it right. It's no good being g almost in the right place, it has to be right.

There is a family near us with 3 kids. They live right on the coast and the kids spend all weekend on the sea, swimming, water skiing, fishing. They look so happy.

We live in a seaside town and although it's nice to live by the seaside if I had a choice I'd choose countryside.

It's a lot different from holidaying somewhere to actually living there.

We are also looking at moving to a different part of the country. We have used our leave to book breaks in airbnb places that are like the sort of house we could afford to buy, and made sure we visited at different times of the year. We also talked to the locals a lot about the positives and negatives of the area, called into all the local estate agents for a chat and of course the pubs, where we found a few newcomers for extra info. I won't comment on your plans for a business but presumably there are other places open doing what you are planning and the best way to find out is to go and chat to them. We have ended up thinking we would like to make the move but knowing it is a bit bleak there in the winter and a long way for our sons to come to visit us. If we go we think that the research over 4 visits will stand us in good stead.

@Lifeissuch

We’ve fully renovated our home and did all the work ourselves so managed to make profit and finally afford to move to the seaside. We have 3 very young children - 6, 2, 6mo (eldest has spent 2 years establishing friends and community in their school).

Me and DH just haven’t clicked with the area we live in now though (been here 2yrs) and want to move to the seaside (over 2hr away) and possibly go self employed with a catering business (we have no prior experience in this but very enthusiastic and hard working).

Dilemma is; I’m worried sick that because we’d be moving to a marginally smaller house (another fixer upper so full renovation needed again), smaller garden, long commute for DH until we go self employed or he finds something closer in his field (1.5hrs - 3hr round trip), no family or friends nearby and new school for eldest, I worry if we’re making the right decision. I feel somewhat selfish because we’re forcing us but mainly our children to ‘start all over again’ (new career, new home to fully renovate, new school, new friends to make etc..). But we would have a whole transformation of lifestyle, we don’t rely on family and friends for childcare or anything else and hardly see them now anyway, we would be living where we’ve been going on holidays for years gone so it’s a bit of a dream move.

Has anyone else been in a similar position and regretted/happy that they did it?

We did it, we moved to Devon - we were young - me 25 years old and DH 30 years old.

No house or kids though. But I will say that we had no jobs or property to buy or sell either. Just a tiny amount of savings.

DH secured work as a chef I got a job working with animals.

We stayed there for 7 years before moving back to London where I took up a training position.

On paper it looked insane moving with hardly any savings and no jobs. But it worked out just fine.

I know you have more to consider with kids, but providing you have enough money to pay your mortgage and put food on the table, then I reckon why not give it a try.

I loved living where I did and have no regrets.

Yes, it's a massive gamble and it could go wrong, but it could also turn out to be amazing as well.

Good luck.

Don't underestimate how hard it is running a business and how much money you'll need to get it going

This with bells on.

What we've learned in the past two years is that lots of models which talk about '10% contingency funds' and the like are bollocks.

We planned to the nth degree and there are problems that arose in our first year that we wouldn't have even imagined in our wildest dreams.

A mix up with yell.com meant reviews for a shitty but similarly named business 100 miles away were assigned to us. Then someone mentioned it on our Facebook page and it got shared. Fuck me, it nearly ruined us, something so small. It took TEN weeks to sort. Our income went through the floor.

Additional costs we'd planned for turned out to be nearly double our (very careful) estimates. A recommended supplier went bust with no notice. An essential tool broke and we had to wait 3 weeks for the repair part. It was an absolute nightmare.

Do not throw all your eggs in the 'new business' basket until you have serious savings to cover problems you can't even imagine yet because it can and does happen which is the reason so many new businesses fail in the first couple of years.

Really great comments. Thank you so much everyone!

@Lifeissuch - I've pm'd you

We did this. Well sort of. I grew up in a seaside area, left and moved to a major city at 18 then aged 35 ,with 2 young kids, I moved back again. My childhood and teen years were actually wonderful and I wanted the same for my children. You do need to visit in the depths of winter and see if you could cope with months of dreary rain and the quietness of a holiday area off season but if you're convinced on that point go for it. My children are part of the clubs you'd find anywhere eg scouting etc my son is involved in rugby, cricket and karate, my daughter is part of an athletics club and drama group. People always mention teenagers but I don't think I missed out, I was involved in the usual sports clubs that you get anywhere + there was a local cinema, bowling alley etc but we spent the whole summer on the beach in a gang. Some kids surfed, some of my wealthier friends had boats (ordinary secondary school but a huge mixed intake from very wealthy to very poor.... we all mixed) loads had kyaks, day times were just very outdoorsy. As teenagers we went to the few pubs in our local town or got trains/taxis to the livelier towns/cities that were around 45 mins away. Seasonal summer jobs were available to teens and there were loads of them. I left to go to uni as did all my friends, don't all 18yr olds want to leave their home town though? Many of us have returned in our 30s so can't have been all bad. Job opportunities (not seasonal ones) are still very limited though, those of us that established careers elsewhere and were able to move them back appear to have an easier life. Hope that helps for the kids point of view.

I am meeting many people who moved out to the seaside and find they still end up commuting into big cities so their worklife balance is much worse. Two of them have requested permanent work from home and have been refused.
Unless you can properly move, with a local job from day 1, it sounds like a pipe dream.
Sorry to be negative!

I think it depends what you mean by seaside. I live on the coast in n-e Scotland and moved here from a northern city.
I love it. I love the beaches, walking my child home from nursery along a coastal footpath, having space.
But it is a proper working place not really a holiday destination though obviously we have tourists.
I work in a normal job in a city and am not reliant on the tourist industry.
Does it have to be this particular town? Can your current jobs be done from other locations?
I think moving to somewhere that makes your heart happy is a great thing to do but a ridiculous commute and total charge of income aren't always required.
Could you not make this a two stage plan and seek local employment first? Or is it completely tourism focused?

You need employment in the area from day 1.
DH and I seriously considered moving back to where I grew up but jobs were an issue.
Your DC sound a good age to move. They might leave as adults but people move around lots these days. I’d have stayed if I could have.
What’s the local health care like? Hospitals in rural areas tend not to be so good.

I don't think it's that crazy, plenty of people commute 1.5 hours - have you checked the cost though?

I would also suggest you look into getting some pt work in the field you are considering so you get real world experience

I would also suggest exploring other coastal locations to ensure its right for your business. I live 2 mins from the beach but only 25 mins from a major city ... not the best beach (understatement) but it's close, dog friendly, and perfect for bracing walks which is quite frankly most of the year in the U.K.

We moved 30 years ago when youngest was 5. He never forgave us and totally identifies with home city.

I regret it if I'm honest, all my children have stayed in their uni cities as the opportunities here are so poor. Many seaside towns have real problems with kids who see no future, the brightest move away and lots just see a future in NMW jobs.

Public transport is unreliable and expensive, when the weather is nice it is hard to enjoy it as everything is crowded and if you are going into a catering business you will be at your busiest when it is school holidays.

I want to move but I can't shift DH, I have at nearly 70 considered doing it alone.

I live in a small non-tourist seaside town which is very affluent. I love it. All year round it's wonderful. Even in winter when it's 'bleak' it's still beautiful. Huge independent shop culture, lots of young people and amazing schools.

Where are you now and where are you thinking of moving to? For example, I wouldn't move to Blackpool but that's entirely different to Cornwall IYSWIM

Don’t know where you’re looking at, but seaside deprivation and poor school standards are a real issue here in East Anglia. There are some pockets of affluence, but they sit alongside places with real social problems. I’d do a lot of research before considering this.

I used to live at the seaside and moved away. You will be amazed at how little people go to the beach when it is on their doorstep - would this be you? Do you have a preconceived view due to holidays and would you actually enjoy it the same when that is everyday life?
A 3hr commute is not to be quickly brushed over - that is a significant commute and probably unsustainable. I would be wary of trying to start a new business in the current economic situation and especially in a field you have no experience. If it failed you would be relying on your husbands job long term and that commute isn't manageable. Unfortunately most sea side areas also aren't flush with jobs that pay well / are not tourism based.

Where is the seaside town in question?

I would do this in a heartbeat. You will make it work. Better to have tried than regret not trying.

We’re facing a huge dip in discretionary spending. Not a time to be opening a catering or food business, even if you did have experience.

100% agree with @LadyRoughDiamond.
Our DD is now 20 and at university, we lived about a 15 minute drive from the coast.
From what she has told me, the children who live closest to the seaside all use drugs of some sort, weed,MDMA, Ket, coke etc.
There are so few opportunities n terms of careers or training and it is so remote,there isn’t a lot else to do.

I live by the sea in a coastal village, albeit very small. In the summer there are cars everywhere and in the evening loud beach parties, joy boy drivers revving til the small hours and rubbish everywhere. Out of season like today, a walk down the road to be confronted by beer cans everywhere, maccies bags, milk shake cartons, fish and chip wrappers and the Council have just put bins in place. Overnight camping when it is banned with the toilet issues that brings. People bring dogs to the beach to let them crap everywhere then drive off.

Mind you, when it was quiet during lockdown, there was a lot of drug dealing going on as the location is quite secluded. I was surprised by how blatant it was.

Shame really because on a lovely sunny day, it is so nice to watch the children play on the beach. But there are treacherous gullies and fast incoming tides - signs are up which are ignored - which resulted in a 9 year old drowning. Prior to that was the cockling disaster and the issues that brought.

Most younger families do not do activities here and you have to drive everywhere. Sounds though like where you have in mind does have better facilities.

As for your prospective business, our local niche cafe has shut after struggling through covid. You mention mobile catering. Whilst many campsites are nearly year round, they are certainly not full during winter months with an older clientele.

What has been successful are two ice cream businesses. They make their own. They survived covid by having a drive thru which actually works better than the original set up. They operate 6/7 months pa only though not year round. Businesses that were enterprising and shows there can still be some mileage in a farm-type catering enterprise. An old friend ran a mobile catering business which was high quality but she has just ended up supplying local eateries.

Sorry there are more negatives than positives op.