To sell up and move to the seaside

[Lifeissuch]

We’ve fully renovated our home and did all the work ourselves so managed to make profit and finally afford to move to the seaside. We have 3 very young children - 6, 2, 6mo (eldest has spent 2 years establishing friends and community in their school).

Me and DH just haven’t clicked with the area we live in now though (been here 2yrs) and want to move to the seaside (over 2hr away) and possibly go self employed with a catering business (we have no prior experience in this but very enthusiastic and hard working).

Dilemma is; I’m worried sick that because we’d be moving to a marginally smaller house (another fixer upper so full renovation needed again), smaller garden, long commute for DH until we go self employed or he finds something closer in his field (1.5hrs - 3hr round trip), no family or friends nearby and new school for eldest, I worry if we’re making the right decision. I feel somewhat selfish because we’re forcing us but mainly our children to ‘start all over again’ (new career, new home to fully renovate, new school, new friends to make etc..). But we would have a whole transformation of lifestyle, we don’t rely on family and friends for childcare or anything else and hardly see them now anyway, we would be living where we’ve been going on holidays for years gone so it’s a bit of a dream move.

Has anyone else been in a similar position and regretted/happy that they did it?

We relocated last year, 3.5hrs from where we lived before, totally the best thing we have ever done, no regrets at all. Our children were 19 & 18 at the time and it felt now or never, as we wanted to move with them. Our circumstances are different as we already have a business, where we can work anywhere. We are all really happy with our move. Sometimes it’s better to try, then to wish you had. Good luck OP.

I grew up by the seaside and moved to the city, mainly because of what @Mydogisagentleman said, it’s a really popular seaside town now with huge visitors, but cut off from the two big cities with opportunities and the local city is a shithole and always has been. I think good for you but please just make sure it’s the right seaside town with really good links and a future for your children.

Loads of people go to my home town (all my family still live there) to visit as they think it’s great, but it’s not great to live there.

@Mydogisagentleman

100% agree with *@LadyRoughDiamond*. Our DD is now 20 and at university, we lived about a 15 minute drive from the coast. From what she has told me, the children who live closest to the seaside all use drugs of some sort, weed,MDMA, Ket, coke etc. There are so few opportunities n terms of careers or training and it is so remote,there isn’t a lot else to do.

TBH, one of the Oxbridges was (is) so awash with ketamine it was boggling. Even I could see it as a crusty adult observer. Wasn’t particularly covert. So risk takers gonna risk, I suppose. The Oxbridge undergrads certainly have plenty of opportunity and education to be getting on with. People of all ages pick their friends to suit their preferences.

OTOH, an actual lack of jobs & prospects locally is more of a concern.

I lived in a very nice seaside town. Teen years were full of drinking and smoking weed for all teens as there was nothing else going on.

The split from school leavers was 50% stayed in the town, worked local tourism jobs with no real prospects and 50% went off to uni and never came back.

I live in a seaside town about 8 miles from a city, so not all seaside towns are rural or cut off. It depends where you're thinking.
And we go to the beach a lot, at least once a week. Even though it is on the doorstep. I never get tired of it, I love it and could never live inland.
I did grow up in another seaside town in a totally different part of the country and recognise what a lot of people are saying. But I think its a problem shared with a lot of towns outside of striking distance of a major conurbation.

One thing many people say is when you are old you don't regret the things you tried that did not work, most regret never trying. If you try it and can't make it work, you just move back to city.

We moved our kids around, before and after starting school. Some of them went to three successive primary schools and coped absolutely fine. The advantage to us as parents was that we developed strong views on what makes a good school (or not) and we put a LOT of effort into finding the right 2ndary school (moved house !) Once the eldest started at that school we stayed there till the last finished.

IME babies under 5-ish don't care where they live. All they need is Mum,. Dad, their familiar routine and Teddy in their bed at night.

Over 5, it's an adventure. They meet new people, make new friends, (keep old ones) develop new social skills and a confidence and flexibility which will last a lifetime. They also learn to appreciate family, and their family's values, as the bed-rock of everything that matters.

That inner emotional stability and self-belief and adventure, supports them long after they leave the nest and through everything they encounter in adult life.

A couple of things I'd suggest you consider OP - finding out whether the commute is a reliable 1.5hrs or not. If you're moving to somewhere smaller/more rural then any hold ups have a bigger knock on effect, due to lack of alternative roads/long diversions. If it's a tourist area, then summer tourist traffic is a real thing.

A lot of seaside areas have social issues, poverty and drug use. There are a disproportionate number of drug and alcohol rehabs in seaside towns, due to large properties historically being given to charitable purposes, and the idea of the seaside being a place for sick people to get well. Along with that some areas have high levels of drug use in teens due to there being a lack of alternative things to do and plenty of places to go away from adult eyes. Just things to bear in mind if part of the attraction is an idea that you'll be moving away from these sort of issues by leaving a city.

We are moving down to Devon next year after the youngest finishes GCSE’s. I thought my teens wouldn’t want to go but they both really want to. It’s always been a dream! We are on the coast already but I really love Devon so that’s where we are going.

I think it's a lovely idea in theory and you sound pretty savvy and, IME, no one has ever lost money from a small food business.

There is a massive difference between seaside towns though so it's hard to give advice. I live in Brighton where it's easy to make money from food if you're serving delicious stuff and are prepared to work hard - you often just need one great product if it's mobile. But property is ridiculously expensive here now.

If you're talking about a small, quiet, up and coming town, you'll be able to buy more easily but will it have enough footfall to make money from a food business? On the other hand, if there aren't yet many decent food outlets there already you could be on to a winner.

I moved a lot as a kid - different countries,
towns (including a year to the seaside) and it just made me really sociable and adaptable.

I personally wouldn't want to go into catering with a small family and no experience. But could either of your jobs be done remotely?

You could try maybe a year. Rent your property and rent somewhere. See how you feel. Your kids are young enough that it won't disrupt their education so you can try it.

The bit that concerns me is the 3 hour vomited for your dh everyday for two years! That is a hell of a long commute and I presume that means he won’t see the kids at all during the week?

You would be absolutely insane to do this with no relevant business experience. Look up the rate at which new businesses fail in the UK. How could you give it your all with three such tiny children?

What happens if it fails and you don’t settle there? Will you move again? Very unfair on your 6 year old who’ll need to make friends all over again.

Seaside towns are often empty for at least half the year. The cost of living is skyrocketing so holidays will be the first thing to go. What will you live on the rest of the year? Schools in seaside towns are often very poor - have you considered this?

A lot of people are jumping to some wild conclusions like my children will have no future opportunities, will be drug addicts, I’m insane etc..

If many of these people would bother reading even half of the thread or my replies they would know the business wouldn’t be for another couple of years anyway, it’s a quaint seaside town (hardly an open drug den) and there are ample job opportunities as the area is well established and not ‘just a seaside’ - not rural with excellent links to cities and towns.

I wanted to hear real people’s experiences (the last part of my thread asked for that specifically) not just your opinion on seasides/seaside living or setting up a business during the current climate.

I worked in a seaside town for four years. Deliberately lived inland because of a connection to the town I chose.

Almost all seaside towns are much quieter in winter, and seem to attract people who find settling down and/or keeping a regular job difficult. This was no exception.

Regardless of that, I don't think the commute for your DH is sustainable for any length of time, even a few months.

In this current economic uncertainty, if it involves extra costs (mortgage, commuting) but where I am is completely affordable even if inflation runs at 10% for a couple of years and heating costs double - then no, I wouldn't

Please don't!!!
As a resident of a popular tourist area in the south west please reconsider. It's people like yourselves moving into the area that's forcing property prices to unaffordable levels for those of us who already live and work here.
I'm going to be homeless in 7 weeks time because my landlord has been offered a huge amount of money by Londoners who want to live here and will pay vastly more then I can afford.
I'm a self employed carer and my clients will loose their care packages as I can't find anywhere to move to so will be forced for move hundreds of miles to live with family.

So please please think about others and don't move!!!!

A catering business at the seaside? Nine months of the year you'd have no income.

Unless of course it is a large town and you would be event catering for local people and businesses - seminars, weddings etc.

I have experience of this. Have you explored school places, colleges/uni (a long way off for you but it soon comes round) and things like being able to register at a new doctors or dentist?
Not to be negative but it's not as idyllic as you may think. You definitely need to explore the area out of season, seaside places are often bleak in winter. And how good public transport is.

Fwiw OP, my comment about drug use in seaside towns wasn't insinuating that your children will grow up drug users, just something that a lot of people aren't aware of until they've spent some time living in these places. I've worked in a fair few, living there for short term roles - there's a reason that agencies pay a lot of money for child protection social workers in coastal towns, and that includes a lot of 'quaint' ones not just Blackpool.

I think if it's your dream and you want to do it, then doing it now is a good idea, your eldest is still only 6 and it's better you move now then pull her out of school in 2 or 3 years time when she has more established friend groups etc. I live by the sea and it's a fantastic lifestyle for children imo

With a food business you need to build up local loyalty with as low initial spend as possible. So think food stall rather than shop for example. Can you do catering so only buy ingreds when you have a booking, that sort of thing. That way you learn the market without massive outlay. Or work in a similar business first to see what works and what doesn’t.

Once again.. I’m from a northern council estate and well aware of drug users, Alcoholics, benefit swindlers and the like. You get it everywhere, even by the seaside.. I get it, however my children won’t be readily around drug abusers, I’ve been going to said quaint seaside town for 31 years, I’m well aware of the likes of Blackpool and Rhyl and this is not the case for where we’re looking at moving to.

@Dobbysgotthesocks I’m sorry for what you’re experiencing but we’re worlds apart in what you’re describing, we’re not buying/paying over inflated prices for tourists and their second homes we will be living there. People move, people set up new lives, me and my children aren’t lucky enough to have been born somewhere idyllic like you was, you can’t begrudge working class people that came from nothing in bettering their and their children’s life by saying let us be and stay where you are in your shit hole. I can understand if someone posted asking if buying a seaside property to let would be profitable but Im not and I am buying a family home to make a life and contribute locally so don’t assume I’m being inconsiderate and robbing a poor local of a roof over their head because that’s not the case here.

I grew up about 25 minutes walk away from a beach in Devon. We never really went though as I don't like cold water and it was always rammed at the slightest hint of sun. There were no well paid jobs round there and I never really went back apart from to visit after uni. It was fine growing up there and there wasn't a big drug problem - but there is in a lot of seaside places. The commute also sounds awful - I would definitely look for a new job before considering the move.

It would be helpful if you said what area you were looking at as people could give you more specific advice.

Can you tell us what town you're moving from and too? If you're going from a really deprived inner city area for example it might change people's views a bit.