Let me know the good things about being single please

[Robinred81]

I’ve recently come out of a marriage and am trying to get my head around being single. Please tell me what you enjoy about it.
So far the only thing I can come up with is not having to share a bed

Never been on holiday alone, no, because I have DC. But I'm being treat to a weekend away alone in June (thanks mum), and I'm excited to go exploring the sights on my own! I've got a lone cruse in my sights for when all DC have flown the nest. It's a while off yet but it'll be a real adventure.

@millypeggyandpandora initially doing certain things alone felt odd, but practice makes perfect

Now I PREFER doing those things alone - eating out, cinema, theatre, museum and art gallery trips.

Weekends away and holidays when I can afford/am up to it health wise.

Great way to build confidence actually doing those things.

You become so good at being self reliant

so going to a restaurant or to see a film without having to worry about anyone's needs but my own is an absolute treat!!

Definitely

@crochetmonkey74 most hotels are happy to mind your stuff in a cubby hole or even a safe while you're in the pool long as you're not wanting to jump on your phone every time you hop out the pool. If you need people to have an in case of emergency number they can contact the hotel direct as happened pre mobiles

What I do on that kinda break is have a bag of snacks, drinks and magazines that's enough to do me while by the pool. If it gets nicked you haven't lost anything super valuable but generally people are pretty honest and it's fine

Graphista
Thanks for the reassurance.
xxxx

A cruise ! What a great idea. I could do that.
Thanks for the logistics advice Graphista

Freedom to invite friends over any time

Not havng football on tv

No more dirty clothes/socks left lying on the floor in every room. No empty food containers/dirty dishes left lying on every surface for me to clean up. The house is so much easier to keep clean and tidy. He always blamed the kids for the mess but most of it was him.
No more sugar spilt (when making coffee) on wet kitchen counters and left to harden like cement.
No more grubby tide marks left around the bath.
No more cigarette butts left dropped in the garden or stubbed out on the side of the house.
No more money wasted on gambling and cigarettes.

Being able to buy whatever I want for myself and our children without being made to feel guilty.
Not having to deal with his dysfunctional family and all their drama.
Being able to take piano lessons - something I’ve always wanted to do.
Feeling like I’ve reawakened who I am and what I want my life to be.
Making plans without the constant worry of being let down and disappointed.
Being able to sleep peacefully and unmolested every night.

You should read Helen Thorn's book "get divorced, be happy". Such a great perspective.

If the boot was on the other foot, I wonder what men would say !
Not having to worry about what men would say..

@thingymaboob I’ve just ordered that book thank you

It does take time but if you wait your patience will reward you, being single is all everyone has mentioned. For me it’s the absolute freedom from what I eat, watch, smell , do and live every last detail of my life

No-one fretting and worrying if you are home later than you intended to be.

@millypeggyandpandora and @crochetmonkey74 very happy to help

@thingymaboob book recommendation noted downloading sample now

The lovely peace and quiet.
Having the whole wardrobe for me.
Not having to look for things I haven't lost in the first place.
My choice of bedtime.
Nobody waking me up in the morning stumbling about trying to find things.

I don't live with dp and am perfectly happy with that

Oh, yes, the freedom.

The adjustment was hard originally, but you hold on for a few months and it's just the best thing in the world.

Have a DP, love him to pieces, but do I want to live with him? No, I do not.

And I travel alone, no problem - think of any activity and you will find a company for solo travellers who will cater for you

I have nearly a week childfree over Easter, and have just bought myself a 4 day Interrail pass (10% off this month!). Planning a few days walking in Provence, with a stopover in Paris. Solo and happy!

Oh I love this thread. It’s really cheered me up. I have always been single. Just very happy in my own company. But I always think I should try and that there’s almost something wrong with me. So, I try and then feel why is someone asking me all these questions about what I am doing and I don’t even know. I come from a very large family and I love not having to be accountable to anyone. Plus my two best friends are also single and all 3 of us live alone. I do need a cat, that’s all but I love living alone so much after years of house sharing.

@crackofdoom

That sounds fab.

I must find a link to a solo women’s travel group I knew of.

I also am really scared after reading about all the really awful things I have read on here about men in relationships. I come from a fairly traditional background and my parents are devoted to one another. My dad worships my mum.

I just can’t marry up the mind of relationship I think I would like with the stories on here. It’s petrifying to think of what some women tolerate because they are in too deep to leave.

@Bellalastrasse I've had two lovely relationships with really nice men (7 years and 2.5years) and I still prefer being on my own there are some good ones out there but I'm single at heart!

I think we have stumbled on something we were to supposed to discover🤣 I can’t wait until I’m a pensioner. I’m going to drink gin during the day and talk nonsense to everyone I meet.

*weren’t

@Bellalastrasse

By no means all relationships are with lazy and abusive men. There are some lovely men.

The thing is though for me even a good relationship diminishes my life a bit. Even my lovely bf who I love and who would never put me down or restrict my social life and expect me to clean up after him, even he imposes suble and subconscious restrictions on my life. It’s impossible not to be somewhat restricted by being in a relationship.

I’m also definitely single at heart. I want sex and companionship but you can keep the rest.

Independence.

Guaranteed good sex with the one I truly love (myself) whenever I want it

Statistically much much safer without a man in your life, most dangerous place for women is in their own home with men who ‘care about them’

Sleep really well, can cope with anything on a good night’s sleep >>> better physical health

Space and time to pursue interests

Better social life with people I actually like

Financially more secure when independent

No socialising with their dickhole friends/family/colleagues

This is just a never ending list really. It’s very hard to come up with any downsides.