Let me know the good things about being single please

[Robinred81]

I’ve recently come out of a marriage and am trying to get my head around being single. Please tell me what you enjoy about it.
So far the only thing I can come up with is not having to share a bed

I really enjoyed being single once I moved out of shared houses for all the reasons PP said

I did get back in the dating game and found a (lovely) partner as my 10 years of singleness coincided with my best friends and sister etc having kids and I got quite resentful of them and lonely in those early years of parenting, so I had to make changes to look after my self which led to meeting my eventual partner

Now even though in a happy relationship i keep a mental picture of what my parallel house with just me in it would be like and don't think I would have another relationship if anything happened to this one

I love the best kept secret comment.

All of the above, but add in so much less drama to have to deal with daily.

@isthismylifenow

I love the best kept secret comment.

All of the above, but add in so much less drama to have to deal with daily.

Good point. It's so much more relaxing.

Also- my feelings or state of mind are never derailed bacause I get home and he has had a bad day and we talk about that , then there's no time or I can't be bothered to talk about mine.

Also- I finally get time on my own in the house - I craved this when living with someone

Freedom to be who you want and think what you want
Not having to take someone else’s needs into consideration
Ability to watch what you want on tv, read undisturbed
Being able to eat what you want
Freedom to raise your children in line with your own values
No sulking or pressure
Not having to clean up after someone who doesn’t pull their weight
Knowing what you earn belongs to you and your DC and no one else
Freedom from other people’s annoying friends and family

I could go on…

Being in a relationship is, in most cases, hugely over-rated

I love these threads!

2 years in and it's glorious. No man will ever cross the threshold of my home again, unless I hired him to fix the electrics or plumbing or something (and even then, I'd prefer a lady tradie).

My lovely cat was always scared of my ex, she's much more confident now and acts like she owns the place, as cats should.

No skiddy boxers/towels

No having to scrutinise the bank statements for him helping himself to fun money from the bills account

Eat food with fresh ingredients, herbs and spices, not beige bachelor chow covered in cheese

Watch DVDs in the massive king size bed that is MINE

Give yourself time, once you start enjoying it you will never look back, make peace with the peace.

Congrats @Robinred81 I was on your other thread and you’re going to be so much happier alone (for now).

For me the best thing about being single is truly feeling capable and self sufficient, strong, fun and powerful. You know you can cope alone and you nourish the parts of life that make you feel good and allow you to interact with other people outside your home! I mean friendships, family, new job, volunteering, activities (eg playing in a band). That’s on top of what everyone else has said about doing things at home.

Casual sex and dating can be a fun recreation and if someone flirts you just damn well flirt back if you feel like it!

If you’re feeling a bit fragile I’d suggest signing up to one new thing to get you out of the house in the week. Rugby, Italian lessons, pub quiz, even a regular film night with a friend.

Freedom to cook what you like/eat what you like/when you like.
Freedom to play whatever music you want as loud as you like (or have silence.
Freedom to go where you want on holiday, on days out etc without having to constantly check diaries and get approval and win someone over.
Clean bathroom that stays clean.
Clean kitchen that stays clean.
Have friends over whenever you want.
Never having to worry if they are sulking or ill or lethargic or grumpy.

I can only imagine... but I bet it's amazing!!

I can have lazy days without feeling guilty!

I don’t have to answer to anybody.
I can decorate how I want with no input from anybody else.
When the kids are in bed I can sit in complete silence.
I can take the kids to my mum’s after school and have dinner there and no one complains about what they’re going to have for dinner.
I have complete control of the remote control.
I can eat toast for dinner if I like.
I can parent how I like with no input from someone who did the bare minimum.
I can do housework at my own pace with no one judging me.
No one paws at me and there is no pressure for sex.

There are a million more reasons why being happily single is the absolute best. I may stay celibate for the rest of my days. I’m thinking of getting a cat so I can be the quintessential crazy cat lady.

Not having to listen to someone snoring all night
Control of the tv remote
Eat what and when you like
Come and go as you like
spend what you want

I say this as someone who was widowed after 44 years marriage.
Found it hard at first but wouldnt live with anyone again

If the boot was on the other foot, I wonder what men would say !

The freedom to do whatever you want… travel wherever you want to go… have you home just the way you like it… not having to pick up after someone else…

Enjoy your life!

@thereisonlyoneofme

If the boot was on the other foot, I wonder what men would say !

The one’s I’ve seen have mostly been about not being nagged at and saving money.

@WellThisWentWell and wanking

There are great things about being single - absolute freedom to be selfish and nobody else to consider; really enjoying (or learning to enjoy) your own company; the excitement of possibility and exploring new people; not sharing a bed. The excitement of a completely fresh start with possibilities and no limits!

(But there are a LOT of things on this thread that are only positives to being single if you're dating someone you hate/who is absolutely terrible. Which makes me wonder why any of you are dating/marrying people who: make you pick up after them; pressure you to have sex; sulk; make you feel like shit etc... !???!)

Which makes me wonder why any of you are dating/marrying people who: make you pick up after them; pressure you to have sex; sulk; make you feel like shit etc... !???!)

It's quite common for them to conceal these traits until after they're married, unfortunately. The level of deceit in some men is astounding.

Fair point, though - being single is joyful for its own sake in so many ways. I just spent a day recently by myself being a tourist in one of my favourite cities. Had a blast. Getting past the 'you can only do things in company' mental barrier is difficult and I'm not entirely there yet, but I had so much fun I'm going to do that much more often.

Getting past the 'you can only do things in company' mental barrier is difficult and I'm not entirely there yet, but I had so much fun I'm going to do that much more often

This is what I am working on right now- just booked a solo trip!

Do any of you find going on holiday or for weekends away too daunting on your own? (sorry I know we are discussing positives)

@millypeggyandpandora

Do any of you find going on holiday or for weekends away too daunting on your own? (sorry I know we are discussing positives)

Nope not at all. I'm on another thread saying how much I love going for a meal or to the cinema alone. I'm with my DC pretty much 24/7 due to their dad having little contact, so going to a restaurant or to see a film without having to worry about anyone's needs but my own is an absolute treat!!

@millypeggyandpandora

Do any of you find going on holiday or for weekends away too daunting on your own? (sorry I know we are discussing positives)

It's strange because when I am in a relationship I love doing these things and don't mind them at all but when I am single I feel more self conscious doing them- not sure what that is about!

Tbh I have never been on holiday by myself as I have dc. I have taken the dc away by themselves but usually go with friends and their dc too. I would love to book one of the huts in the Maldives and lie out in the sea hammocks by myself all day for a week. Sounds like bliss!

@JiannaTheWitchQueen

Tbh I have never been on holiday by myself as I have dc. I have taken the dc away by themselves but usually go with friends and their dc too. I would love to book one of the huts in the Maldives and lie out in the sea hammocks by myself all day for a week. Sounds like bliss!

I would love to try a sun holiday by myself but I find it a bit intimidating and hard to imagine the logistics- where would I put my key, phone etc when in the pool

City breaks i can do