To not want to go to bed at 730?

[Holcroft]

Everything I read about dcsleep suggests to try to sleep when they do, but going to bed at 730 is a bit depressing as an adult … or AIBU?

Go to bed if you tried. Time doesn't matter.

I’m sleep deprived because I tried going to bed with dc and newborn but felt depressed I got zero me time ! So Dh ( who loves a sleep is in with them) while I stay up watching box sets I think I got 4 hours sleep last night but I feel happier tbh

Mine went to bed at 7:30, but prob didn't fall asleep til 8ish. I never would go to bed cause I saw the next couple of hours as me time/kid free time to enjoy. I wouldn't have wanted to waste it sleeping lol

You don't need to follow what others say, you know?

I could quite happily go to bed at that time - it means I'm up about 5 ish so get decent alone time in (a few weeks now) daylight.

@MurmuratingStarling

I have never heard of that - EVER. Only 'sleep when the baby sleeps' when they're around to 8-10 months old. But not 'go to bed when your kids go.' Where on earth did you hear that?

This

@Halllyup17

You don't need to follow what others say, you know?

That is the best advice.

I think what people mean is nap when baby naps if you can esp in early newborn days. Dont think it means go to bed at same time but look whatever works for people 😊

Oh I hear you, my first two were very much like that.

You could possibly night wean at 16mo, that might help. If already not feeding at night, splitting the nights with DH should be an option.

You say he naps well. Is it possible he's getting too much sleep during the day and therefore isn't building up the sleep pressure for night time? Looking at a later bedtime or reducing or dropping a nap might be something to try.

It can be normal and it will get better (I promise it definitely gets better) if you wait it out but there are many options between controlled crying and waiting it out. Just depends on what you feel comfortable with.

I feel you OP and mine are 27 months, sometimes it's like they wake every other hour between them. No I don't go to bed at 7 when they do because I won't have had dinner and because I have a partner I like to see and I study nights. Ironically they sleep great until midnight so when I go to bed at 11 I can't sleep knowing someone will wake up soon.
I have a partner but he doesn't do night wakes, so he gets up with them in the morning if they're UP UP from 6. On nights they've been up since 4 I wake him about 5-5.30 to swap as it probably means I've actually been awake since 3. Catch up on sleep with bagsie on the weekend lie ins. Obv harder if you're on your own

I always thought sleep when the baby sleeps meant have a nap when the baby is having a nap, not go to bed at the same time as them

I have 8 and did controlled crying with the youngest three, best thing I ever did, we all sleep well now, I’d recommend it to anyone.

I went to bed at 7:30ish with all mine during the first few months. I figured 12 hours in bed might get me 8 hrs of sleep. DH wasn’t home from work at that time and I can see it would be a bit odd to do it every night if it meant not seeing your DP.

I hate fab, but a good group that's worth using it for is Biologically Normal Infant & Toddler Sleep. Gives you an insight into what's really okay without feeling the pressure of sleep training, etc. if that's something you're not comfortable with.

*FB

I’m not sure what people mean by night wean / we’re not breastfeeding. I’ve no idea why he wakes. He’s no idea why he wakes. I am fairly sure he’s not getting too much sleep in the day - two hours, sometimes a bit less.

I’m a bit depressed I think. Life feels so relentless, never any let up or break.

@Holcroft

I’m not sure what people mean by night wean / we’re not breastfeeding. I’ve no idea why he wakes. He’s no idea why he wakes. I am fairly sure he’s not getting too much sleep in the day - two hours, sometimes a bit less.

I’m a bit depressed I think. Life feels so relentless, never any let up or break.

When you’re tired everything seems so much worse. You need to get your sleep back. At this age there’s no reason for so much night waking.

I got a sleep consultant to help me with my kid’s sleep. She is a friend, so I trusted her, and no crying it out at all. Since then I’ve been teaching my children good sleeping habits and it really works. We all get good sleep now and we all feel so much better for it.

“Teaching good sleeping habits” is a meaningless phrase. I don’t care whether people sleep train or not, different things work for different families, but don’t tell people they are failing to “teach” their children something when that isn’t really how it works

It got better for a while - not amazing but down to a couple of wakeups - now awful again.

I just feel low.

Ah yes sorry you can't night wean if he's not waking to feed!

This is from the Lyndsey hookway book still awake if it is any use. Hope they don't come out too small to read.

Annoyingly they have gone in reverse order but the size looks ok.

Do you have a partner? They should be doing their share of nights if so.

If that’s the time you need to go to sleep to get the level of sleep you need then why wouldn’t you?

Ds goes to bed about 9, I know I will be up multiple times during the night with him (autistic and tube fed overnight) and the day may start any time from 3am so I go to bed as soon as he is settled. Sometimes I watch tv for a bit others I try to grab sleep straight away

He won’t accept DH at night. I’ll try to read it now although I have read a lot of sleep books and none help

then why wouldn’t you

Because I have shit to do is the probably quite abrupt response to that!

@Holcroft What does he do when he wakes up? / What do you do to get him back down?

I completely understand where you're coming from. DS would wake 5+ times a night until we did CC at 15mo. Hasn't totally solved it, but made a massive difference (for both of us)