To not want to go to bed at 730?

[Holcroft]

Everything I read about dcsleep suggests to try to sleep when they do, but going to bed at 730 is a bit depressing as an adult … or AIBU?

I took that for the newborn/ infant stage so nap when baby naps, so you catch up on your sleep.

Though with my dd (9) my dp or I are often following or can even be slightly in bed before her at 8pm. Though dp gets up at 4 and I'm always tired! 10pm is a late night in our house!

older babies and young children need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, whilst adults need more like the 7-9 ballpark, so why would you even need to go to bed at the same time as them..??
Because some babies and children wake hourly during those 12-14 hours, which for DD were only ever 11 hours max, so if I went to bed when she did I could cobble together 7-9 hours in tiny increments between wake-ups. And ideally I need 10 hours anyway. Not all DC and adults have the same sleep needs.

My children are now adults still living at home, they usually watch football with DH most nights, so I have a bath and go to bed and either read or watch tv, I will often fall asleep. My first son when a baby, was a bad sleeper, not going down till midnight. When I was pregnant with my second I would go to bed when he did 8.30/9 pm. When second son was born he was such a better sleeper and I’m sure it was because I was in bed early whilst pregnant with him.

When my children were younger I never went to bed when they did. I suppose I wanted a bit of down time whilst they slept. These days I regularly go to bed at 7 30 to read,watch TV or sleep. My kids are 10,12 and 14 and I'm more tired now than when I had 3 under 4 years of age.

Omg OP this is me right now... my baby is 1 years old and doesnt sleep properly! She will go to bed at 7.30 but then wake up around 11 sometimes for hours!...everyone keeps saying sleep when she sleeps... (this has been practically evert night since birth) and i have things to do! If i went to bed at 7.30 nothing would ever get done! Also, nap when they nap...how, what if i have a job...im actually in uni so cant and even if i have a day off i make myself lunch or clean do housework when she naps..

I actually found being woken worse than the lack of sleep so wouldn't go to bed until after the latest "evening" wake up, 11pm. Then I'd be up at 1am but at least I got to watch some telly. I tried to go to bed at 8pm once when dc2 was days old but just woke up at 10.30 (he was asleep) really hungry and quite perky!

[quote JennyForeigner]We have 6 month old twins, it's

One of mine was asleep at 6.10pm tonight. The youngest ones are always asleep by 7pm. It allows time to rest early if I need to. They're always up between 5 and 6am.

I often sleep early too

If your child is waking up a lot during the night, then I would say go possibly to bed close to when they do. I do this often with dd, as she's not the best sleeper and I'm not the best parent when I'm overly tired. I get more cranky, and my patience is much lower.
However I'm only speaking for myself, and I can't speak for other parents.

Sleep when the baby sleeps is for the specific newborn bit where life ceases to exist in 24 hour blocks and instead exists from one feed/change/sleep cycle to the next.

If people say it later it's just too give you permission to have a nap when they do rather than running around trying to clean or something.

Then you get people who interpret safe sleep guidelines absolutely rigidly and insist you can't leave them alone for a second until they are 6mo in case they stop breathing. This is not practical. It is very unlikely that a baby will die of SIDS in the three hours between their bedtime and yours, if you feel they settle better in another room and value that time. Personally the miniscule increase in risk over those couple of hours is worth it for me.

I do go to bed at about 7/8pm probably about once every couple of weeks. With DC1 and 2 who slept much more fragmentedly than DS3 does I used to go to bed at that time about once every third day. It helped but giving up every evening is just depressing.

And you need to sort your kid’s sleep out if they’re still waking a lot and they’re over 6 months old. You need to teach them how to sleep well, which will greatly benefit their (and your) wellbeing and development.
Nonsense.

Only at the newborn stage when they are feeding every 2-3 hours l. By 3 months this isn't necessary

@Holcroft

I do go to bed at 9 but then get woken at 10 so not ideal tbh.

How olds the little one? My baby's 6 months. I tend to get her back to sleep in her cot if she wakes up before midnight. Any time after that we co-sleep.

I BF DD1 and she woke every 2 hours but I feel like sleep deprivation would've killed me in the earlier days with DD2 and she's FF which has worked better for us this time around

Mines 16 months and still wakes all the time, I am starting to feel I will never sleep again!

I think at 16 months you could do some sort of sleep training.

What's their nap times like? How do they fall asleep at naps and night time?

My son's 12 months, he doesn't have a bedtime so to speak. I did try but I ended up following him. He sleeps on me most of the evening, wakes up for a potter now and then, then comes to bed with me or pops into his cot if I've had a few glasses of wine.

I didn't adjust my evening. Is this what you mean? I'm unsure. You don't have to go to sleep when they do.

My fourth baby used to wake a lot through the night and I was exhausted. I'd go to sleep when he was down for the night so when he woke I'd at least have had about 3 hours. I felt like I'd missed out on time to myself but their sleep patterns change so rapidly that it was just a temporary thing.

@Holcroft DD woke hourly til she was 17 months then spontaneously slept through one night. After that she was much better, though only occasionally sleeping through. we night weaned her at 19 months and she started sleeping through 3-4 nights out of 7 from about 21 months.

She’s still a tiny arsehole who goes through bouts of waking up all the time and coming into my bed, but it’s much better. They do all get there!*

*caveat that some don’t. But in theory.

It's your choice, but I really would recommend at least aiming for 9pm, 7.30 if you have an 11.20pm screamfest to look forward to. Getting a block of about four hours in might make you feel absolutely vile as you wake up, but it's far better/healthier over a longer timescale to consistently get a couple of blocks of deep sleep than it is to just have one that always, always gets broken after about 40 minutes and dragging yourself through the other hours, not really enjoying them anyhow.

I gave in to the ex who was incandescent with fury at the thought of my being so lazy as to go to bed before midnight. It 'trained' me to never sleep before 2am. Which is a total bitch 20-odd years later, as I've not managed a decent night's sleep since, no matter how absolutely shattered I am.

Give it go for a week or two - as soon as they're in bed, lights down low, bath, all warm and nice nightclothes/bedclothes and rest. See how that feels after the two weeks where, by the time you have to deal with waking, you've probably had 2-3 full sleep cycles and then have a chance to get more afterwards.

My little boy is 5 months old, I’ve never really napped when he has! When he was younger we would all go to bed around 9ish. He goes to bed at 7 now but we don’t! Although I am tempted to some nights 🤣

My average bedtime is 1.30am

7.30pm is like the middle of the day to me. 9pm is a super early bedtime. How do you fit everything in?

6 years, and 20 months here. Dh and I regularly go to bed at 8 - definitely at least once a week. We both work ft and it makes a huge difference to our moods for the week if we ensure at least one early night

Goes to sleep independently, naps brilliantly. Just lots of night waking.

I love my bed. I often go to bed at 8pm and mine are older teens 😂
I get comfy, stick the telly on and sleep when I’m ready. I get up early though and work FT.

Mine are 17 and 13 (twins). At least once a week I go to bed at 7.30 ish just to get some bloody peace.