To not want to go to bed at 730?

[Holcroft]

Everything I read about dcsleep suggests to try to sleep when they do, but going to bed at 730 is a bit depressing as an adult … or AIBU?

That expression is only meant for a newborn!
That wouldn't be for me, I crave my downtime alone once the kids are in bed each day.

I find that I have more energy for the kids and for myself if I go to bed once a week at child bed time.

I don’t usually sleep but I read/chill out and then sleep early. Crucially I don’t clear up/catch up on work/do jobs.

Mine are way past the baby stage but still get up at 6.30 which is earlier than ideal!

Sometimes my downtime after the children are in bed involves going to my own bed with a book.

If you don't have to stay up then choose sleep!
You'll feel much better for it.

I thought that advice was for when they are newborns and sleep is erratic with no day/night differentiation? f they have a 7:30 bedtime it sounds like they are older and day/nights should be more distinguished for both them and you? I do agree with PPs though, If I’ve had a hellish run of shifts at work I’ll go to bed not long after 8pm (DCs bedtime).

My DC is awful with sleep as well. Just don’t know if it would help going to bed earlier as I’d get disturbed anyway. Sometimes it’s harder to go to bed and get up than not get up!

We have 6 month old twins, it's

I wouldn’t say it is depressing. If you need sleep and have a baby that wakes frequently in the night or wakes early in the morning you have to do what you have to do.
When baby was 3-6 months I often went to bed 8:30/9 as I would be up a lot in the night with her and need to survive.

To me ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ refers to the early weeks with a newborn and taking naps where you can, it doesn’t mean sleep every hour that your child sleeps. Usually young children need more overnight sleep than adults.

I used to get my second wind after I'd put the baby down and would be up til after 11pm whch I then regretted during the night... 👎

If I went to bed at 7.30 these days, I'd be awake for the day at 2am!

When my kids were tiny (less than 3 months old) I’d regularly go to bed as soon as they went to sleep for the night whether that was 6pm or 9pm 🤣🤣they always slept well for their first chunk of sleep so I knew I’d be able to get a few hours of sleep in! Don’t go to bed now at that time obviously as they’re now 10,8,3 and nearly 2!

When your dc are still very young you do whatever you need.to do to get through the week.
I used to go to bed that early maybe once or twice a week to catch up on sleep. I find living without sleep more depressing than having an early night . Besides I was in such a sleep deprived haze I didn't really do much in the evenings anyway, maybe just tv or reading.

F that, when they were sleeping was my me time! And ecked out as long as possible.

None of my kids ever went to bed that early either

Think of it as a reverse lie in, that’s what made me embrace it. Nice mini home facial, bed with a book and a pint of water, lights out as early as possible when I start to feel drowsy. Awesome.

But then my DH and I often have a day time nap at the weekend and our youngest is 6 and a half. Sleep is amazing and I will do anything to get more…

@MurmuratingStarling

I have never heard of that - EVER. Only 'sleep when the baby sleeps' when they're around to 8-10 months old. But not 'go to bed when your kids go.' Where on earth did you hear that?

I agree... I've heard when the young are taking nap, take one too.. But NOPE! Not at bedtime. That's crazy talk..ha

That advice is to mothers of new borns to grab some sleep during the day in advance of a night of potentially disturbed sleep.

I think the 'sleep when the baby sleeps' refers to naptime when the baby is tiny and you're up all night feeding him or her.

I don't do it often but just cuddled 8yo to sleep. Sometimes it just easier. I was listening to an audio book and left him asleep at 8.

Depends on the age. When they were really young - before they slept through - I'd go to bed before them!! I'd do a feed at 7pm and go to bed. DH used to stay up with DC and do a feed about 10pm then put them down. It meant I could sleep approx 7pm till 1am which meant I could cope with most things.

That stopped once they slept through properly though. It sounds like yours are a bit older?

I always thought that "sleep when they sleep" was just an inane catchphrase said by people for whom it was so long ago that they had babies that they can't actually remember how ridiculously impractical it is. It's not something to take as gospel. Like yeah, when you've got a little baby then sometimes you'll be able to catch 40 winks while the baby is napping during the day, but other times you'll be out and about while they nap, or else it'll be the only time opportunity you've got to catch up on a million and one things you can't do while they're awake. older babies and young children need about 12-14 hours of sleep per day, whilst adults need more like the 7-9 ballpark, so why would you even need to go to bed at the same time as them..??

How old is DC?

Once a week I go to bed just after DC, so anytime between 7:30-8pm. I love it! I get to catch up a little and it keeps me going if DC wakes in the night during the week.

To be fair I did when I was a single mum to three under 5 in a small flat. I just preferred being in bed to watch tv/ read instead of sat on the couch in the next room. You don't need to go up when they do though. The sleep when they sleep thing is when they're newborns. I couldn't do it cos I had other kids to care for.

Apple, it’s just because DC constantly wakes, I got around 3 hours last night

There’s a compromise - DC in bed at 7.30pm, you have a bath and watch a tv programme or whatever and go to bed at nine - still early but at least you feel like you have an evening too.

I do go to bed at 9 but then get woken at 10 so not ideal tbh.