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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to bed at 730?

146 replies

Holcroft · 07/03/2022 19:46

Everything I read about dcsleep suggests to try to sleep when they do, but going to bed at 730 is a bit depressing as an adult … or AIBU?

OP posts:
SausageFox · 07/03/2022 20:57

@Holcroft

Goes to sleep independently, naps brilliantly. Just lots of night waking.
Have you considered bed sharing for the night wakes? So later on once you're in bed yourself. Do you BF?

For earlier on if you don't want to be up and down, could you have him sleep downstairs? Either in a little cot or contact napping? Then you get your evening still without running up and down. It doesn't have to be prescriptive. I threw that out of the window when I realised DS wouldn't sleep alone in a room, and I wasn't going to push it.

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/03/2022 20:58

That’s a new one on me.

I would never…

Darbs76 · 07/03/2022 20:59

I never slept when my babies did as I hated day time sleeping then, gosh in my 40’s and mum to two teens I love day sleeping now! But I don’t lie in now I get chance, I am up before 6 even on weekends! I don’t think you need to go to bed at 7.30 but if you’re exhausted due to night wakings it’s a good idea to get to sleep around 9 if you can; definitely not be up until 10/11 as that won’t help

Minniem2020 · 07/03/2022 20:59

I have a 4 year old who rarely sleeps before 10pm, wakes through the night 4/5 nights a week and is up by 630 every morning. I'd love a 730 bedtime! I know what you mean though op, it would be nice to be able to enjoy your evenings but I'm all for just doing what you need to to survive at the time

DuchessofAnkh22 · 07/03/2022 21:00

@Holcroft

Goes to sleep independently, naps brilliantly. Just lots of night waking.
Honestly the best thing I did with my non-sleeper was CC - you'll get a lot of haters on here but provided you do it right you will have a happier baby and a happier Mum.

(CC, shush, leave 5 minutes, go in shush, leave 10 minutes, then 15, then every 15 until they sleep, and repeat when they wake).

With DS it took 2 nights night one was seemed like-- torture and he took about 2 hours to settle, then night 2 slept through, night 3 awake for about an hour, then slept through. Didn't look back.

Dguu6u · 07/03/2022 21:00

@stuntbubbles

And you need to sort your kid’s sleep out if they’re still waking a lot and they’re over 6 months old. You need to teach them how to sleep well, which will greatly benefit their (and your) wellbeing and development. Nonsense.
Have a read of studies. There are many that show the links between good sleep at a young age and development. Example: “studies support a critical and positive role of infant sleep in cognition and physical growth.” Link: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5440010/
TabithaHazel · 07/03/2022 21:02

My kids don't go to bed at 7:30 but I wish I could :)

Bookaholic73 · 07/03/2022 21:03

I’ve been going to bed at about 8pm most nights. Haha. I love it.

Original poster
Holcroft · 07/03/2022 21:04

I really hate bed sharing, I get kicked all night, I can’t move and I sleep so badly. Plus wakes up anyway.

OP posts:
SausageFox · 07/03/2022 21:07

Fair enough! DS is a lively sleeper too, but it beats getting up and down to settle him in the cot (which he accepts if he has to but he's not a fan of 😂).

Bromse · 07/03/2022 21:07

I never went to bed at 7.30pm, we'd either be eating or just finishing dinner at that time. My baby was downstairs with us, awake or asleep, and we carried him up to bed asleep when we went.

When I wasn't working, I would often sleep with him during the day. That was nice.

tinderswindler · 07/03/2022 21:08

Sounds bloody delish to me!

Readyforspring · 07/03/2022 21:10

I think that means wheb theyre babies. Ie night waking exhausted mum =nap when baby does. Prob not toddler and upward age.
We get the tidying etc done when dcs r in bed. We would live in a pig sty if we went ti bed at 7.30 when theu do.

SausageFox · 07/03/2022 21:11

So I get the impression it's the night wakings bothering you the most then? They're still biologically normal at this age, but it is knackering! How many times does he wake on average?

The reason I suggested bedsharing and asked about BF was because I always found it easier to whack a boob out and close my eyes again when he wakes up. If your scenario is different then maybe let us know and we can see if there's anything that would help.

Wnikat · 07/03/2022 21:11

Depends how tired you are

Chonfox · 07/03/2022 21:12

I never did. Even when stupidly sleep deprived I couldn't bring myself to go to bed when they did, as I needed a couple of hours peace to decompress from being with them all day.

Also on the rare occasions I went to bed early it didn't really help as when they inevitably woke me in the night I struggled to then get back to sleep as I'd already had a few hours. I'm a crap sleeper though (much like my youngest DC!) This will depend on your sleep habits though, my husband and my sister can fall asleep at any stage day or night no matter what. If you're like that then the occasional early night will do you good.

NameChangeCity123 · 07/03/2022 21:12

@RedRobin100

I never slept when the baby slept. I have too much FOMO
Same here
GiftWrappingLikeItsXmasEve · 07/03/2022 21:13

My children didn’t ever and don’t go to bed at 7:30pm.
I’d only go to bed at 7:30pm if I had a migraine. Unfortunately it’s usually after midnight.
No one has ever suggested I should go to bed that early but actually I probably could fall asleep at 7:30pm!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/03/2022 21:19

What happens when she wakes? Is she cuddled/fed/Shhh patted?

MargaretThursday · 07/03/2022 21:20

@Holcroft

Mines 16 months and still wakes all the time, I am starting to feel I will never sleep again!
Don't worry! It will pass.

For reference I had 3 dc who slept very differently.
By 8 weeks dd1 went down at 8:30 and slept until 8:30. She also had 2 2hr+ naps during the day.

DD2 decided to do the opposite. She would eventually settle about 10:30, then wake around every 2 hours until she got up at 8. She did this until 20 months when the doctor gave her the no-longer-allowed-to-prescribe but wonderful medised. She had a dose for two night running and then slept okay. We're talking about sleeping 6-8 hours at a go. Was bliss!

Ds slept well when he didn't have an ear infection which was about 25% of the time. But he was an early bird. I used to desperately try and keep him awake until 7pm or he wanted to get up for the day too early.

I remember well how you felt. The utter exhaustion-and I can remember saying exactly that to DH. If I went to bed the instant they went to bed, which I needed to, then I never got any time to do me time, and that drains me too.

I don't think that there's an easy option. For me dh used to take them out for a couple of hours at the weekend and the sleep knowing I wasn't going to get disturbed was much better.

Hope you get through it soon.

mandajmo · 07/03/2022 21:24

My son is 12 years old and I love a reason to go to bed at 7.30pm 😂

Hellorhighwater · 07/03/2022 21:36

If it works for you, do it. I wish I could. My kiddo doesn’t really sleep through, even now, and one of my dogs is on meds that means she needs to go out in the night, so I know someone is going to have me up at least once.

If got to sleep at 7, I’m awake at 10ish and can’t sleep again till the wee hours. I’d happily sleep when they do if I could. Then maybe I’d feel more productive. I can nap, but I’m so awful at mornings, I’m pretty sure a longer run up would help!

longtompot · 07/03/2022 21:38

When mine were babies I would go to bed when they went to sleep. Dh would take over as they'd be asleep downstairs and then he'd bring them up when they woke so I could feed them. I couldn't function if I didn't grab sleep when I could. I would nap on the sofa when they had a daytime nap.

TheBigDilemma · 07/03/2022 21:38

I did the go to bed when your child goes after I split with my exH. It was great because by going to sleep so early I was up well rested at 4:30am with 2 -3 hours ahead of me to do my own thing, like reading or exercise, catch up with the housechores and get ready totally undisturbed before DS woke up at 7.

I have never been so well as in that time of my life, I was doing Pilates 5 mornings a day, eating better and felt very relaxed during the day (who wouldn’t with 2-3 hours of me time a day? Sadly, the little one only went to bed before 8pm for just a few years…

thepeopleversuswork · 07/03/2022 21:41

Nah. I never managed that either. However tired I was. Felt positively unnatural to go to bed then.