Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I am going to be starving at this wedding?

795 replies

Aztecprint6 · 06/03/2022 16:23

Wedding breakfast is at 4:30pm.

Evening food will be wedding cake and some cheese.

AIBU to think I am going to have to bring along a sandwich and some late night snacks?

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 20:35

@BobMortimersPetOwl

And therein lies the actual problem. A type of food doesn't need to "fit in" with a venue.

I don't mind weddings. But any which are style over substance tend to be shit. Those which are about actually having a good time, the food being tasty rather than looking pretty, the venue being comfortable with a decently priced bar as opposed to having to take out a loan to buy a glass of wine etc - those are the weddings I want to be at!

If I'm hungry I'm unlikely to be having a great time. Especially as hunger is amplified by drinking and waiting.

@BobMortimersPetOwl Food can be tasty and filling and look pretty too as has been the case at pretty much all the weddings I’ve been to
LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 20:38

And once again - IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU! You might want pie and chips or chicken nuggets or bacon sandwiches served up but it’s the bride and grooms day so it’s what they see fit to serve up that’s the important. People can have a day off from “big portions” and feeling “stuffed” after eating and it won’t kill them.

Roussette · 09/03/2022 20:43

But Lucky No! They'll be having a shit time, they have to get everyone on their table to agree with them that it's all shit, or alternatively they'll just faint right off.

BobMortimersPetOwl · 09/03/2022 20:46

No, it's about the OP who has expressed concern at feeling hungry and has had people rather stupidly telling them they won't be, without a care for how or when they eat, ignoring the fact that we're all very different.

But it's easy to tell who had a style over substance wedding at least!

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 20:49

@Roussette

But Lucky No! They'll be having a shit time, they have to get everyone on their table to agree with them that it's all shit, or alternatively they'll just faint right off.
@Roussette Very true! “Faint right off” love it 🤣🤣🤣
Roussette · 09/03/2022 20:49

Bob Nothing could be further from the truth! But in my day (married 36 years this year!) no-one had an evening buffet. It literally didn't exist. Back in the day, I never went to a wedding where there was evening food. However, I didn't have to call ambulances for all the guests who'd fainted off on my wedding day!

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 20:54

@BobMortimersPetOwl

No, it's about the OP who has expressed concern at feeling hungry and has had people rather stupidly telling them they won't be, without a care for how or when they eat, ignoring the fact that we're all very different.

But it's easy to tell who had a style over substance wedding at least!

@BobMortimersPetOwl Well not really because I’m not married. I will be getting married later this year though and will absolutely not be pandering to - and shelling out extra £££ for- the kind of people who complain of having a shit time and lament they feel faint with hunger after a three course wedding breakfast! If that makes my wedding ‘style over substance’
LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 20:56

Sorry pressed post too soon. If that makes my wedding ‘style over substance’ the so be it! What’s wrong with a bit of style anyway??

Roussette · 09/03/2022 20:59

Substance is what I eat at home with the telly on.

I want a bit of style!

Whisktea · 09/03/2022 20:59

We had a afternoon tea, a pick & mix stand and a bbq later on, tried to have something for everyone (had a separate bbq for veggie stuff)- if people moaned I wouldn't have been that arsed as we did our best to plan and consider people's needs but ultimately the food wasn't a major part of the day for us. The best part of any wedding is invariably seeing people you might not have seen in a while, seeing friends have the best day of their life, and generally just having a good time in my opinion.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 21:04

@Roussette

Substance is what I eat at home with the telly on.

I want a bit of style!

@Roussette Haha, great minds!
Baconandmaplesyrup · 09/03/2022 21:43

Honestly I’ve been at least a dozen weddings over the years, likely more, I never recall being hungry, shit food, under catering, looking at fellow guests thinking they looked like they were having a shit time, dancing so much I needed to eat like I was an Olympian athlete, getting wankered over the meal, having to bring food with me out of panic I’d starve, having to leave because five courses left me feeling faint,, unable to eat for several hours as I was doing my make up, or having to travel with someone who refused to even stop and let me buy a sandwich,

I feel very lucky in fact. I’ve enjoyed every wedding I’ve been invited to. I’m able to regulate my appetite and judge if I should eat in advance based on meal timing ,my travel companions have no issues with stopping for me to buy a sandwich, I don’t dance to the level that I need to be fed like an Olympian athlete, I can control my own alcohol intake, my fellow guests never look like they are having a shit time, for me, it’s I go, I have fun, I enjoy others company, I enjoy the ceremony and food has always been plentiful.

These wedding people are describing are horrendous. Drivers who won’t let you eat, meagre food portions that leave you faint, fellow guests making it clear they are having a shit time, people leaving as they are literally starving, guests dancing so manically they need vast quantities of food to carry on, people wankered over lunch as they are starving and being fed so much alcohol, vegetarians being virtually starved. . I just can’t even perceive the horrendous situations these guests have faced. And am very lucky I’ve never endured such a thing,

I can understand their concern, sounds like some people have been held hostage and subjected to some horrific events. The likes I’ve never witnessed thankfully.

rainbowmash · 09/03/2022 21:51

@Roussette

This thread is honest like....

Muuuuummmm... I'm hungry!
Muuummm.... I want some crisps!
Muuummmm... I don't want to eat that, I want chips!

Honestly!

Haha, exactly!

I think some of these people would claim to be "starving to death" if they came to have dinner at my house, considering that "salad, small portion of vegetarian food, then fruit" is considered so crushingly inadequate!

But then again, they'd probably see nothing wrong with pulling a bag of greasy chips and a bacon butty out of their fake Louis Vuitton and munching it in front of me, so I wouldn't have to concern myself with their delicate health for long.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 22:18

@Baconandmaplesyrup that made me lol but actually sums it all up really well!

lap90 · 09/03/2022 22:20

@BobMortimersPetOwl

I still don't really get why people are being so obtuse.

Some weddings are well catered. Some are under catered. When they're under catered, and you're left hungry it isn't the end of the world obviously, but it does mean you probably enjoy yourself less than you otherwise would.

It can be difficult to fit in stopping for lunch when the wedding is at 1pm, which is likely the ceremony time for a 4.30pm meal. Typically you get there a bit early, so with travel and time to get ready etc time can be a bit squeezed for anything substantial. However, this is the lookout of the guest.

It's foolish to pretend that weddings aren't typically boozy affairs. It's similarly foolish to cater a wedding based on the ideal of everyone being very healthy with a perfect eating pattern when this clearly is not the norm for most people. Look after your guests! Wedding portions are typically on the small side for an awful lot of people. If they leave you feeling stuffed, that's great, but its not the norm. The food is also generally pretty poor mass produced stuff, so not rich enough to compensate for a small serving.

And you can't compare eating at a wedding to your average day at home because of all the booze and dancing which for most people aren't a feature of the average Wednesday at home.

If you've got evening guests too, chances are they'll skip dinner. To then be presented with cake and cheese would mean there'd likely be lots of hungry people. To my mind, serving cheese platters to people who are pissed up is shit. Something to properly soak up the booze is what's really needed, as much as people may clutch their pearls in horror at bacon sandwiches or standard buffet fare.

'Look after your guests'

Indeed. It's very simple.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 22:33

@lap90 would you say the bride and groom in OP’s scenario aren’t looking after their guests?

bridgetreilly · 09/03/2022 22:38

Golden rule: no matter whattime the wedding is, ALWAYS have a sandwich before you go. Because you never know when you’ll actually end up eating, whatever the invitation says.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 23:09

And if you’re @user1471554720 then you may be actively prevented from eating a sandwich en route!

EeeICouldRipATissue · 09/03/2022 23:13

We had a afternoon tea, a pick & mix stand and a bbq later on, tried to have something for everyone (had a separate bbq for veggie stuff)

That all sounds lovely 🙂

EeeICouldRipATissue · 09/03/2022 23:15

But it's easy to tell who had a style over substance wedding at least!

Definitely 😂

HoneyFlowers · 09/03/2022 23:33

Omg I went to a wedding once and the ceremony was 11am and there was NO FOOD until 7pm. Out in the sticks too so nowhere local to buy food. Awful.

Grasping · 10/03/2022 07:10

Most of the threads on MN with people moaning about weddings say more about them, the guest, than the B&G.

Roussette · 10/03/2022 07:48

It's a revelation to me! Never knew such whinging about weddings!

Fortunately, there's also a lot of people like me on this thread who really don't look through that critical lens, ready to find fault. Phew, thank goodness for that.

LuckySantangelo35 · 10/03/2022 07:53

@EeeICouldRipATissue

But it's easy to tell who had a style over substance wedding at least!

Definitely 😂

@EeeICouldRipATissue think we’ve already established that’s not the case! Anyway substance is borrrrrrring, why not have some style for once. Live a little
Roussette · 10/03/2022 07:57

Substance is chicken nuggets and pork pie Grin