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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think I am going to be starving at this wedding?

795 replies

Aztecprint6 · 06/03/2022 16:23

Wedding breakfast is at 4:30pm.

Evening food will be wedding cake and some cheese.

AIBU to think I am going to have to bring along a sandwich and some late night snacks?

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 09/03/2022 16:02

It’s actually a pizza starter before you order your starters 😂

A pre-starter.

courgettigreensadwater · 09/03/2022 16:46

If the wedding breakfast is at half four you'll probably only have the main at gone five which is only a slightly early meal time anyway. Then dessert at half five six ish. Seriously 😳

Erinyes · 09/03/2022 16:57

@Fluffycloudland77

No in a restaurant. Most of it went in the bin & someone else footed the bill.

Last meal out I had with them.

This is even weirder, in fairness. So you're in an Italian/pizza restaurant, where there's a good chance some people are going to be ordering pizza for their meal, and your IL orders pre-pizza pizzas so no one dies with hunger while they're reading the menu? Grin
courgettigreensadwater · 09/03/2022 17:02

Yes but @PinkNails1 (and I've got a great appetite and love my food) this whole thread is ridiculous. The main meal aka 'The Wedding Breakfast' (in the UK) won't even finish until gone six I wouldn't think which is a normal time. And THEN there's cake and cheese and probably biscuits and fruit. So IMHO it's not a load of pearl clutching, salad eating MNers - it's just not a load of gluttons.

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/03/2022 17:31

@Erinyes basically yes.

user1471554720 · 09/03/2022 17:35

LuckySantangelo35

I wonder if you and some others are deliberately being obtuse.

Lots of people travel for a wedding. If you are sitting in someone's car from 11am to 2pm, you can't get them to stop and eat. You eat breakfast at 10am. Then you arrive at the church at 2pm. The service goes on til 3, then back to the hotel for drinks. Food served at around 6. They SAY food served at 4.30 but they want to keep the guests in the bar drinking, so food is often late. That is 8 hours

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 17:38

@user1471554720 you just have a sandwich in the car. If you’re driving you just pull over for ten mins to have said sandwich. Simple! 😊👍

Baconandmaplesyrup · 09/03/2022 18:06

@user1471554720

LuckySantangelo35

I wonder if you and some others are deliberately being obtuse.

Lots of people travel for a wedding. If you are sitting in someone's car from 11am to 2pm, you can't get them to stop and eat. You eat breakfast at 10am. Then you arrive at the church at 2pm. The service goes on til 3, then back to the hotel for drinks. Food served at around 6. They SAY food served at 4.30 but they want to keep the guests in the bar drinking, so food is often late. That is 8 hours

Why can’t you get them to stop? Are you being kidnapped?
user1471554720 · 09/03/2022 18:10

They would not be hungry would think it is not a big deal to fast for hours. They would think we were greedy.

They would stop but would make a joke of it and tell everyine I couldn't fast for hours like them.

Baconandmaplesyrup · 09/03/2022 18:21

@user1471554720

They would not be hungry would think it is not a big deal to fast for hours. They would think we were greedy.

They would stop but would make a joke of it and tell everyine I couldn't fast for hours like them.

I’m sorry I don’t really understand this, and I read it twice. But if you’re with someone you know won’t stop for you then you take a sandwich or whatever surely?
LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 18:27

@user1471554720 🤨🤣 U ok Hun?

user1471554720 · 09/03/2022 18:29

LuckySantangelo35

You don't seem okSmile

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 18:34

@user1471554720 I’m fine thanks just slightly puzzled by your post
They would not be hungry would think it is not a big deal to fast for hours. They would think we were greedy.

“They would stop but would make a joke of it and tell everyine I couldn't fast for hours like them.”

It makes zero sense!

EeeICouldRipATissue · 09/03/2022 18:39

It makes zero sense!

Yes it does?
They're saying that the driver would probably stop for a sandwich break if asked but would be more than likely to take the piss out of them with '' bantz'' about them being greedy or not being able to get through a car journey without feeling the urge to eat

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 18:45

@EeeICouldRipATissue

but would they though if driving over lunchtime? Most people would love at the wedding invite and the timings of the meal etc and think right I’ll have a sandwich or something around 12.30 on the way there so that I’ll be ok until later. Most adults are capable of planning their food intake around the wedding meals.

And you know if you’re so preoccupied with food and feel you’d be hungry after wedding breakfast followed by cake and cheese after maybe you are greedy and maybe people might describe you as such…if so just own it!
Being greedy is hardly the worst character trait in the world!

Roussette · 09/03/2022 18:58

Whoever the driver is... they sound like a plank.

I'd just bring a sandwich I'd made and eat it and if they said something bantzy, I'd just say 'no you're not having my sandwich however hard you try lol'

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 19:07

Those people that would sit at a wedding breakfast table and complain to other guests that they are still hungry would most definitely have the brass neck to crack open a sandwich in the car regardless of any banter!

Erinyes · 09/03/2022 19:18

@EeeICouldRipATissue

It makes zero sense!

Yes it does?
They're saying that the driver would probably stop for a sandwich break if asked but would be more than likely to take the piss out of them with '' bantz'' about them being greedy or not being able to get through a car journey without feeling the urge to eat

Well, I want to know who the ‘them” is, because @user1471554720 sounds awfully intimidated by them, and if ‘they’ is a friend, partner or family member, their ability to prevent her from eating a sandwich sounds preternatural.
BobMortimersPetOwl · 09/03/2022 20:02

I still don't really get why people are being so obtuse.

Some weddings are well catered. Some are under catered. When they're under catered, and you're left hungry it isn't the end of the world obviously, but it does mean you probably enjoy yourself less than you otherwise would.

It can be difficult to fit in stopping for lunch when the wedding is at 1pm, which is likely the ceremony time for a 4.30pm meal. Typically you get there a bit early, so with travel and time to get ready etc time can be a bit squeezed for anything substantial. However, this is the lookout of the guest.

It's foolish to pretend that weddings aren't typically boozy affairs. It's similarly foolish to cater a wedding based on the ideal of everyone being very healthy with a perfect eating pattern when this clearly is not the norm for most people. Look after your guests! Wedding portions are typically on the small side for an awful lot of people. If they leave you feeling stuffed, that's great, but its not the norm. The food is also generally pretty poor mass produced stuff, so not rich enough to compensate for a small serving.

And you can't compare eating at a wedding to your average day at home because of all the booze and dancing which for most people aren't a feature of the average Wednesday at home.

If you've got evening guests too, chances are they'll skip dinner. To then be presented with cake and cheese would mean there'd likely be lots of hungry people. To my mind, serving cheese platters to people who are pissed up is shit. Something to properly soak up the booze is what's really needed, as much as people may clutch their pearls in horror at bacon sandwiches or standard buffet fare.

BobMortimersPetOwl · 09/03/2022 20:03

It's also not really beyond the realms of possible to read people's body language and expressions so if you can tell others on your table are having a bit of a shit time, I don't think sharing that you are too is the crime of the century.

Roussette · 09/03/2022 20:08

I have never ever been at a wedding and moaned about having a bit of a shit time. How awful to think there's all these people looking for problems and hoping others join them in their dislike of the day.
I find that incredibly rude to be honest. And if someone started on that, I'd just swerve them.

My motto is... you cannot please all the people all the time. That's it. Just smile and do your best to enjoy.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 20:19

@BobMortimersPetOwl

I still don't really get why people are being so obtuse.

Some weddings are well catered. Some are under catered. When they're under catered, and you're left hungry it isn't the end of the world obviously, but it does mean you probably enjoy yourself less than you otherwise would.

It can be difficult to fit in stopping for lunch when the wedding is at 1pm, which is likely the ceremony time for a 4.30pm meal. Typically you get there a bit early, so with travel and time to get ready etc time can be a bit squeezed for anything substantial. However, this is the lookout of the guest.

It's foolish to pretend that weddings aren't typically boozy affairs. It's similarly foolish to cater a wedding based on the ideal of everyone being very healthy with a perfect eating pattern when this clearly is not the norm for most people. Look after your guests! Wedding portions are typically on the small side for an awful lot of people. If they leave you feeling stuffed, that's great, but its not the norm. The food is also generally pretty poor mass produced stuff, so not rich enough to compensate for a small serving.

And you can't compare eating at a wedding to your average day at home because of all the booze and dancing which for most people aren't a feature of the average Wednesday at home.

If you've got evening guests too, chances are they'll skip dinner. To then be presented with cake and cheese would mean there'd likely be lots of hungry people. To my mind, serving cheese platters to people who are pissed up is shit. Something to properly soak up the booze is what's really needed, as much as people may clutch their pearls in horror at bacon sandwiches or standard buffet fare.

@BobMortimersPetOwl I wouldn’t want to “feel stuffed” at a wedding. Is that the feeling people aim for when eating a meal? If so, maybe that’s part of the problem!

People going to just the evening do would be aware of what was on offer- cheese and cake. If they’re thought that this wouldn’t suffice that could not skip dinner and have a light beforehand hand.

No way would bacon sandwiches and beige buffet food fit in with most venues and weddings styles… it’s a wedding not a greasy spoon! Also if the cheese course did include bread then there’s not much difference really is there? You could even make yourself a sandwich from it if so inclined, surely that would soak up the booze?

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/03/2022 20:20

@BobMortimersPetOwl Also not feeling stuffed does not equate to having shit time. Not for most people anyway.

BobMortimersPetOwl · 09/03/2022 20:30

And therein lies the actual problem. A type of food doesn't need to "fit in" with a venue.

I don't mind weddings. But any which are style over substance tend to be shit. Those which are about actually having a good time, the food being tasty rather than looking pretty, the venue being comfortable with a decently priced bar as opposed to having to take out a loan to buy a glass of wine etc - those are the weddings I want to be at!

If I'm hungry I'm unlikely to be having a great time. Especially as hunger is amplified by drinking and waiting.

Roussette · 09/03/2022 20:34

This thread is honest like....

Muuuuummmm... I'm hungry!
Muuummm.... I want some crisps!
Muuummmm... I don't want to eat that, I want chips!

Honestly!