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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I am going to be starving at this wedding?

795 replies

Aztecprint6 · 06/03/2022 16:23

Wedding breakfast is at 4:30pm.

Evening food will be wedding cake and some cheese.

AIBU to think I am going to have to bring along a sandwich and some late night snacks?

OP posts:
anotherheadache · 07/03/2022 13:44

@MiddleOfThePack I'm not angry at you I just find your comment that guests should be grateful they are getting fed ridiculous! As a wedding guest, no matter how much you love the happy couple, attending as a guest can be an expensive day.. the least you expect is to be fed! No one gives people to invite guests so if you choose to have guests just ensure that they are comfortable, fed and watered. If your budget doesn't stretch to that then either don't invite so many or change your budget priorities.

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, it was lovely, the food was fabulous. It cost us as a couple £500 to attend. 2 nights in a hotel because to far to travel, gifts, expensive bar (like most wedding venues) and outfits (I got a dress in the sale DH had to rent a tux as was black tie). And you think guests should be grateful to be fed?!!!

averylongtimeago · 07/03/2022 14:18

All of the posters saying that of course there will be plenty of food - 3 course meal, even cheese and cake means a loaded table.

Well - the last three weddings I know of, that was only true for one of them. One other (with similar timings) offered a small sandwich and a piece of cake for "tea" and nothing al all in the evening. The other: pizza and chips with chocolate cake to follow and a chip butty in the evening. We had a lovely time, their wedding, their food choice, but we really needed more food to soak up the alcohol!

Take snacks OP, just in case!

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/03/2022 15:05

Those saying bring snacks…where would you eat them?! Sneak off to a corner of the hotel or something?🤣

Baconandmaplesyrup · 07/03/2022 15:12

@LuckySantangelo35

Those saying bring snacks…where would you eat them?! Sneak off to a corner of the hotel or something?🤣
I think she is staying so if indeed she is bringing a whole roast chicken she will just pop up to her room and eat it then come back down.
LuckySantangelo35 · 07/03/2022 15:16

@Baconandmaplesyrup True…I thought the roast chicken was a joke but you can never tell!

TooBigForMyBoots · 07/03/2022 15:17

I cant do with being hungry. As soon as I get an invitation to a wedding, I scout what's available nearby.BlushGrin

I don't expect the B&G to provide multiple meals and I'm an adult so I sort my own needs while my loved ones deal with all the mentalness of their wedding day.

Fluffycloudland77 · 07/03/2022 15:58

@Theresamagicalplace

Jesus Christ some people on here are absolutely vile to posters who happen to have a larger appetite than them! Fwiw op I'd be taking snacks too, I've been to way too many weddings where the 3 course meal has been miniscule portions similar to the size you'd expect for a tasting menu and then a buffet that didn't quite stretch. I get nauseous if I get too hungry and now I'm pregnant that extends to actually vomiting (fun on an empty stomach), I'm not fat or ill it's just how my body reacts to hunger.
My BMI is 18 and I get feral when I’m hungry. Dh is ok when he’s hungry but I will literally bowl that man out the way to get to the kitchen. All 6’3” of him.

The cats the same. We’re kindred spirits.

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/03/2022 16:04

@TooBigForMyBoots

I cant do with being hungry. As soon as I get an invitation to a wedding, I scout what's available nearby.BlushGrin

I don't expect the B&G to provide multiple meals and I'm an adult so I sort my own needs while my loved ones deal with all the mentalness of their wedding day.

@TooBigForMyBoots Really?? You do that whatever the wedding meal set up? That’s bizarre that would be your first thought process when receiving a wedding invitation
Fluffycloudland77 · 07/03/2022 16:15

My first thought is “Can I get out of going without family WW3 starting”

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/03/2022 16:20

@Fluffycloudland77

My first thought is “Can I get out of going without family WW3 starting”
@Fluffycloudland77 do you not like weddings?
2Rebecca · 07/03/2022 16:35

I'd have a large brunch at 10-11ish so then a large meal at 4.30 that probably won't finish until after 6, you will still be stuffed at 7. Take snacks if you think you'll get hungry.

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 07/03/2022 17:00

Because of this bloody thread I've been dreaming about cake and cheese all day 🤤

Concestor · 07/03/2022 18:29

When I got married 15 years ago, we did the meal at 5 then a hot buffet at 9 and that was completely normal and what everyone did. Because your guests will be hungry and drinking a lot and need food.

Sounds like these days people want to try and get away with only providing one meal despite guests attending for nearly the whole day. It's stingy.

YANBU op, I'm a size 12 and if I ate at 4.30 then I'd need another meal at 9ish for definite. I usually eat at 8/9pm so there's no way I could go all evening without a proper amount of food.

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/03/2022 18:44

@zurala yeah that might be the case normally for you but surely not what when you’ve had a three course meal!
Also, in this instance the OP is being provided with food later on, cheese course and cake

Baconandmaplesyrup · 07/03/2022 19:04

I ate at 4.30 then I'd need another meal at 9ish for definite. I usually eat at 8/9pm so there's no way I could go all evening without a proper amount of food

It’s a three course meal so will likely finish at about 6.30. Would you really need another full meal just over two hours later? Fair play to you if you do. It seems you’re not alone.

Roussette · 07/03/2022 19:04

But it's not the whole day is it? It's half a day, if that. Two hot meals in the space of 4 hours is expensive and excessive.

anotherheadache · 07/03/2022 19:07

@LuckySantangelo35 I think you've misread @zurala post. She explained that at her wedding 15 years ago it was the norm to provide the wedding breakfast at 5pm (3 course meal) then a further hot buffet at night, it was the same when I got married 10 years ago. I agree with @zurala , now days it feels like weddings are about spending the budget on what will look good in the Instagram photos rather than guest comfort.

Baconandmaplesyrup · 07/03/2022 19:11

[quote anotherheadache]**@LuckySantangelo35* I think you've misread @zurala post. She explained that at her wedding 15 years ago it was the norm to provide the wedding breakfast at 5pm (3 course meal) then a further hot buffet at night, it was the same when I got married 10 years ago. I agree with @zurala* , now days it feels like weddings are about spending the budget on what will look good in the Instagram photos rather than guest comfort. [/quote]
This is not the case with my friends and family, I think it’s maybe specific to the weddings you’ve been attending recently , sounds so awful for you, but it’s not normal no.

On saying that I feel the catering here is generous. I don’t need two hot meals within a five hour period, not after I’ve just finished a three course meal a couple of hours before. I get many people do, but I’d say it wasn’t the norm.

This thread is fascinating though. Peoples eating habits vary so much, and I’m a bit impressed how much some folks genuinely need to eat.

moirarosebabay · 07/03/2022 19:15

I get really hungry (or should that be hangry) from dancing so I'd be apprehensive about this too. I once stopped off for a MacDonalds after the service and before the hotel bit and was so glad I did as the photos took ages, I don't drink and would have been so hungry waiting for the meal. I would totally take snacks or go for a drive through if the opportunity arises between the service and the meal.

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/03/2022 19:36

@anotherheadache to be fair though, the bride and groom won’t have an unlimited budget will they? If I had a choice between I dunno getting the flowers I wanted and providing guests with a hot buffet for just a few hours after the wedding breakfast I’d go for the flowers. If it was a choice between that or the dress I really wanted, I’d spend the money on the dress. Or having my hair done and make up professionally. The guests will be well fed at the wedding OP describes. So yeah I would pick what will look nice in pics rather than paying for my guests to have another completely unnecessary hot buffet when they only had a three course dinner a couple of hours ago. Fuck that! 😊

BobMortimersPetOwl · 07/03/2022 20:41

Obviously this is mumsnet where everybody exists outside of the normal real world and gets by on a lettuce leaf and sniff of mint which leaves them stuffed.

In reality I normally have dinner between 7 and 8pm so if my main meal were 3 or so hours earlier I'd be hungry in the evening. I don't really like cake, and think cheese platters are a bit shit. Nice in theory but again the reality is that you'll probably get a tiny bit of a few cheeses. And wedding breakfasts tend to be small portions of fairly crap food.

Definitely have lunch if you can fit it in somewhere and definitely take snacks. I'd be starving and the food sounds shit.

TheKeatingFive · 07/03/2022 21:09

In reality I normally have dinner between 7 and 8pm so if my main meal were 3 or so hours earlier I'd be hungry in the evening.

But that main meal will be 3 courses and be eaten over a longer period of time. It's not an exact equivalent of eating your Spag Bol 3 hours earlier.

Roussette · 07/03/2022 21:09

The food sounds shit?? Shock

A 3 course meal and what could be a great cheese platter with accompaniments... and cake.

Shit. Rightio....

anotherheadache · 07/03/2022 21:22

@LuckySantangelo35 and that's my point proven. You're not putting guest comfort first whereas my priority was my guests 🤷‍♀️

BobMortimersPetOwl · 07/03/2022 21:22

Usually the food is served over 90mins or so and then we have to endure speeches.

At home I'd have my dinner, and then dessert an hourish later.

I don't eat much during the day so my body has acclimatised to feeling hungry in the evening. If my main meal were 3 hours earlier than usual I'd struggle to eat it and be hungry later.

Also, what if the wedding breakfast is food the OP doesn't particularly like?

I went to one wedding where we got about 3 Prawns for starter, a slither of pork with 1 potato and a tablespoon of veg for main and 2 profiteroles for dessert.

When you throw in copious amounts of booze it is absolutely shite. In the evening I'd expect to see carb laden food, which can be easily eaten. Bacon butties and the like are perfect, as long as they aren't rationed to 1 each!!