I asked him for child maintenance and he's threatened to kill himself

[cadburyegg]

Posting for traffic. Really upset.

I've posted on here before about my ex being flaky with child maintenance. I haven't gone to the CMS before now because he has eventually paid up. Today I chased him by text for the week's payment, like I often have to do.

He said he couldn't pay because he was skint etc so I told him that I would go through the CMS. He unleashed a barrage of anger on me. Implying that I shouldn't need his money because I get "handouts" and he gets nothing. I do work and earn an ok salary considering I do reduced hours to fit around the children. I have asked for more hours at work but haven't been approved yet. But I do get CB and a small amount of UC which tops up my wages.

I told him the above (which he already knows) and he told me he was thinking of ending it all because of the "pressure" I am putting on him.

FWIW I suffer majorly with my mental health and find being a single parent to 2 young children immensely stressful. I am on a high dose of ADs. Yet I would never say anything like this or take my problems out on/to him or anyone else

Men seem to find attack the best form of defence. Go via CMS. The money is for his kids; they deserve it.

What an absolute dick he’s being. He’s got a responsibility to his kids. Ignore his bullshit threats and just go to CMS

Go to the CMS

Simply send back noted

And call child maintenance anyway

If he tries again tell him your starting to have concerns about the children's safety in his care watch him backtrack? (Depends if you think it's a credible threat or not I've played hardball with my most recent ex like this but some men I've dated I absolutely would not)

Just go through the CMS and don't engage. They will assess what he can afford to pay. For all you know he can't afford it because he's out boozing at the pub...

Just go through the CMS. He's unreliable and manipulative.

Yanbu.

He’s emotionally blackmailing you so you back off asking him for cash. What a dick!

If he’s that skint he can’t pay for his kids he should work extra hours so he can pay up.

Do you know his income / outgoings?

Just go to CMS and ignore his attempts to manipulate you.

Well tell him to sort his life insurance before he does and if he could make it look like an accident that would be helpful too.

Honestly don't pander to it. He's trying to control you by manipulating your emotions and the only way to handle it is to either ignore it or if you think he might be serious, call police to do a welfare check.

What a prince - so he doesn't feel he should provide for his own dc?

Go with CMS. Grey rock him.

He won't kill himself.

Claim child maintenance.

If he says he will end his life contact the police and they will check up on him. My friend’s ex did something similar after the split. I always thought he was being manipulative. She called the police who went out looking for him and he did never did it again.

It's bullshit. He doesn't want to pay. Go through CMS and don't engage with him.

Definitely go through CMS.

I used to have to practically beg my ex for maintenance every month and justify why I needed it before he gave it to me. A measly £50 a month.

Til one day I'd had enough, contacted CMS where they took the money straight from his wages. And it was the £150 DD was actually entitled to.

He stopped being able to walk all over me from then on.

Well tell him to sort his life insurance before he does and if he could make it look like an accident that would be helpful too.

It is blackmail pure and simple. Rise above and apply.

Tell him to crack on with it. In the meantime you will be moving forward with the CMS

Stop engaging with this manipulative prick and go straight to CMS. Let them deal with his dramatics.

Not one of these fuckers ever do

It's just a way to control you. Reduce contact with him, block him if he's abusive over text/email.

Go through CMS

Just go for the CMS and don't engage in silly manipulative behaviour

Classic abuse tactic.

Take absolutely no notice and go via CMS.

Ignore him

Go to CMS

As above. Ignore and go to CMS.

As everyone else has said ignore the threat it's sheer emotional blackmail, I would flag it up regarding his access to the children though, and go through CMS.

Why do dickheads like this never want to pay for their children?

He is using it as a way to get your attention and to control you

Go through cms and end this nonsense

Claim the money.

You aren't in any way responsible for his actions, that's on him.

Pathetic looser. Go via CMS and don't engage into conversations.