partner loses things all the time

[Candysfloss]

just that really.

it is ruining mine and the kids weekends. it's always his keys or bank cards and no matter how often I say hang them up/put them in a basket/put them in a bowl in the kitchen we have this atleast once a week.

he looses his temper very very quickly. its the houses fault. it's my fault. I'm a cunt. he hates his life.

today, we are meant to be going out for the day. we have a toddler and a young baby - after being unable to find his keys, he called me a stupid cunt for asking why he didnt hang them up last night and, after throwing his weight around (burst all the balloons we had out for our kids birthday, threw a pizza box etc.) said he isnt coming out today now and is going back to bed. which is where he has been for the last hour.

I'm so sick and tired of it. its things like clothes too, where this top that top.

I'm doubting myself now though because on another thread I found posters were telling OP it sounded like her partner had adhd and to be more patient as he cant help it and the temper and loosing things were signs.

I'm just so annoyed now because even if he fi ds them in time for us to go out I feel like its put a downer on the day.

Ha I am dreadful for losing and misplacing things.

I have DC that are so far individually diagnosed as late teens:
ASD
ADD/ADHD
Dyspraxia

I'm sure it all comes from me.

A long time ago after another stress over losing the car keys DH put up a hook and I trained myself to use it, each time we moved it was the first job.

Yep I used to get really upset and angry at myself but I didn't blame the house or DH I knew it was my issue.

Your partner needs to be your ex permanently. Listen to your Mum

@ittakes2

sounds like he does have inattentive ADHD....his attention span doesn't last so he is thinking about the next thing and putting the keys down at the same time so has no memory of where he put the keys. Does he day dream a lot? ADHD has trouble with regulating emotions BUT not reason why your life should be hell - he can look for some strategies to improve things. ie put the key bowl next to the door - kitchen too far away for his attention span

For the love of God!

It is really easy to read the OP's posts.

He is now getting violent. Nothing to do with ADHD. He doesn't behave like that for anyone else.

I know lots of people with adhd etc… not one of them has ever punched a wall or called their partner a cunt.

Are you ok? Are you & the children safe? He's an utter a-hole, there is no excuse for calling you a c*#t, smashing up furniture & throwing things at you. Absolutely no need for it. And those saying 'maybe he has ADHD..' well, so what if he has? Still doesn't excuse his behaviour.
Who's house is it? Who's name is it in?
Don't put up with his shit, because next time he'll be hitting you rather than the wall 💕

thanks for checking in.

he is at his brothers, I've gone home and my friend is staying tonight

I'd ask him to leave.
But I'd also have found the keys and have gone out on my own. X

Contact the police to protect yourself from a damage claim from the landlord.

Contact the landlord and tell them what has happened.

If you don't you are leaving yourself wide open to being blamed for this damage and any costs.

thanks, I have taken pictures of the hole too.

You need to leave him. No matter how much grovelling he does. My father was like this, left everything at his area and then would be screaming at us when he was running late because he couldn’t remember where his keys were. Spoiled everything good with his fucking moods. Eventually he did move onto getting physical then he got a disease that made him disabled. Even then he wax an utter cunt to everyone. I have no feelings for him and he and my brother have been left with psychological issues due to his behaviour. Do you want your beautiful children to live like that because you don’t want to move elsewhere? I also hate that my mum made us stay on that environment despite having the chance to leave. He grovelled and then fed her bullshit! I can’t be close to her because of that. I cry if someone gets angry near me, i people please to stop people being angry and don’t stand up for myself ever so I’m an easy target. Please do not let your kids live in that!

Agree with all the PP saying that it's not your partner losing things that is ruining your weekend, it is his abusive and violent temper. Do not get sidetracked by ADHD vs not ADHD. That's not acceptable behaviour around you and your young DC and its up to him to make changes if he wants to keep you all.

I lose things constantly. I get really frustrated with myself but I don't swear, throw things, smash things or burst my children's birthday balloons because I'm not an abusive arsehole.

I am home with the children now. he is continuing to stay with his brother.

I also grew up in a house where my father (well my brothers father, wasnt mine biologically) used to hit my mum and was a real nasty bloke. this also gave me severe anxiety so I do totally get it.

like I said, its just so shit because we have only just been through the ringer with baby and him being born really prematurely and a long hospital stay. I'm just a bit sad truthfully. but I know it's not my fault and the children deserve much better, I dont want them to have the childhood I did.

it's not because I dont want to move anywhere else, I cannot afford to. fortunately he has gone to his brothers, which is something.

Him losing things is irritating but isn’t the worst thing here, his behaviour towards you most certainly is because it’s abusive. You shouldn’t accept being shouted at and called a horrible cunt, nor should you accept him throwing objects around. He’s like an overgrown toddler with a foul mouth.

Don't let him back OP