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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:
marieantoinehairnet · 05/03/2022 19:36

I can't remember with my first, I was so out of it in pain, I went into some kind of semi-conscious state (they refused me any pain relief - too late they said).

With my second I panted and mooed a lot!

Lesina · 05/03/2022 19:36

Didn’t make a sound at all :) it must run in the family as when I was at my daughters labour the midwife remakes she was the politest birthing mother she had ever encountered Grin

looklikeanelephant · 05/03/2022 19:36

First I was silent. Second I did a lot of mooing. But I went from 3cm to baby out in 17 minutes for second DC.

Thinkingblonde · 05/03/2022 19:40

I couldn’t push as well if I made a racket, lips closed, eyes closed and chin on my chest and it seemed to get more results..

Lachimolala · 05/03/2022 19:41

Both really lol. Silent with my first likely because of the epidural and me sleeping through most of the labour, did this mooing grunting noise that was quite loud with my second, with her I went from 4cm to 10cm and pushing within about 3mins and she was born on the toilet nearly so I’ll forgive myself for that. And completely silent with my last, he was an emergency section after a long and difficult labour.

BobHadBitchTits · 05/03/2022 19:41

I just cried and cried and cried.

Fruby · 05/03/2022 19:41

I just fell to the ground sobbing and wailing. I was induced on serotonin drip and just could not handle the pain. I really hope natural births are less painful

Camomila · 05/03/2022 19:41

I screamed through the pushing stage for both (quick painful labours - DS1 was 4h and DS2 was 1.45h)

TurquoiseDragon · 05/03/2022 19:41

I didn't scream. I wouldn't have done anyway, I kind of quietly groaned. I do recall someone (don't know who) saying that screaming was a waste of energy that could go into pushing.

HeyItsPickleRick · 05/03/2022 19:42

I definitely vocalised but it was more moaning until actual delivery where I did started to scream until my husband said 'breathe breathe breathe' and I started panting instead. It all felt quite primal, I enjoyed my birth but I was still loud.

shivawn · 05/03/2022 19:42

I was concentrating on my breathing but there was probably some grunting and moaning going on....definitely no screaming though.

Teddansononmyown · 05/03/2022 19:43

No pain relief (long story). No screaming , a lot of grunting

Enko · 05/03/2022 19:43

I go very quiet in labour and turn inward. I have given birth to 4 children and not screamed once. I do not identify with that film episode of yelling birthing women.

lemonyfox · 05/03/2022 19:43

@LubaLuca

I honked like a goose, just once, but silent otherwise.
Oh stop it, me and my husband have just died laughing at this comment 😂😂😂 now he keeps honking at me and setting me off again
Scabetty · 05/03/2022 19:44

No shouting with dd but had an epidural. No pain relief with ds so shouted a bit but midwife told me to put that energy in to pushing. Thought she was a bitch but a little pre-occupied to discuss it 😂.

WaspRelatedEmergency · 05/03/2022 19:44

I mainly mooed and roared a bit. I screamed once very loudly during my first delivery when I tore during crowning. Still makes me cringe to think about it.

Thatsplentyjack · 05/03/2022 19:44

With the first 2 I hardly made a peep. With the third I was like a dying cow, but it wasn't a scream. I honestly couldn't stop myself. I was so embarrassed but I have never felt pain like my third Labour.

coffeepleeease · 05/03/2022 19:44

I didn't really scream, but I cried a lot and shouted "I can't do it"!

Notwithittoday · 05/03/2022 19:44

I’ve had two labours both without so much as a paracetamol as went very fast. The first I never made a sound. The second which was pitocin induced I was like a wild animal, screaming and shrieking and swearing. Horrible. Felt so out of control. I think every labour is different really so I don’t think you can really congratulate yourself because you were silent.

RoastedFerret · 05/03/2022 19:46

I was quiet on both of mine. When I landed at the hospital the second time around the midwives refused to even look at me because apparently, they could tell I wasn't far along because of how I was acting. When I finally persuaded someone to examine me I was 7cm. I go into myself when I am in pain.

Crikeyalmighty · 05/03/2022 19:47

I honestly can’t remember — I’ve had 3 and all I remember was that the last one (he’s 23 now) was by far the easiest as I had an epidural plus gas and air for the last 20 minutes as epidural wore off. I do remember thinking anyone who thinks ‘breathe this away’ can shove it!!

boymum88 · 05/03/2022 19:47

1st i can remember crying with the pain and swearing a lot, but hell he was 12 weeks early so I really didn't care what I said or how I said it, it's all a bit of a hazy
2nd no screaming didn't even swear to much, maybe a bit of primal noises and telling the midwife she was lying, biting on the gas and air helped, I sort of remember shouting ohh the ring of fire is real, how the f did I do this the first time, also both times farted / pooed far to much, proper crop dusted the poor midwife

Dsisproblem · 05/03/2022 19:48

I didn't scream first time round, but second time I screamed for the entire 21 minutes (!) of my labour. It was horrific.

sorrysaywhatnow · 05/03/2022 19:48

As a midwife I would generally tell women not to scream, as it wastes energy. But some women, well...they need to scream, and in those cases it can be helpful. In most cases, save the energy for pushing!

SecondhandTable · 05/03/2022 19:49

I didn't exactly 'scream' as in, it wasn't shrill, high pitched shrieking. But I did shout a lot during the last part of my labour with DC2, so from like the last few cm dilation time until the pushing stage. Which for me was a couple of hours, most of which was spent at home. I felt like I was in agony. I also cried a lot and said things like I wished I was dead, I wanted to die, make it stop, I just want pain relief and so on. It was awful. When I got gas and air finally I stopped all that and managed much better just with some whinging and groaning here and there hah.