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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:
NotAScoobyToBeSeen · 05/03/2022 19:49

I didn't scream either time, but I generally go quiet when Im ill or in pain.

OfstedOffred · 05/03/2022 19:50

I think I sort of moaned a lot

Gingersay · 05/03/2022 19:52

I was silent with my first I kept shushing anyone who spoke including the anesthetist who wanted me to have an epidural which I said no then shhhhhhh every time he spoke.
I was trying to watch Eastenders it was the big birthday episode when they revealed who killed Archie Mitchell lol...

HardbackWriter · 05/03/2022 19:53

Again, in a 'we're all different' way, I find it hard to relate to the comments about needing the energy to push - I found the urge to push absolutely overwhelming and irresistible. The midwife with DS1 was telling me to slow down to try and stop me tearing (I did tear, but not too badly) and I was really trying but couldn't.

Londoncallingtothefarawaytowns · 05/03/2022 19:56

No but I was about screaming with the gallstones I had, not long after the birth Shock

bobsholi · 05/03/2022 19:56

Absolutely screamed the place down with DC1 and DC3. Was completely silent with DC2 until crowning when I lost it a bit. I'm usually a calm and quiet person so it took everyone by surprise how loud I was.

SiliconDioxide79 · 05/03/2022 19:57

I was scared of having gas and air (control freak, thought it would make me giddy) and believe I made quite a rumpus with all 3 of mine. Groaning mainly. If I had to go back and do it again I'd probably have the gas and air FFS. Feel like my midwives were quite tolerant of the noise. Also I shat liberally over the floor with the 3rd one. Ugggh

Dinoteeth · 05/03/2022 19:57

@SnowFoxWinterFox

I screamed. I had a 26 hour labour that despite me asking for a c-section due to the fact I broke my pelvis and spine in a horse riding accidernt 15 years before resulted in a roll of the eyes from the people who were supposed to be looming after me and a 'we'll start ypu off as a natural birth and see how far we get'. Then DS1 got very very stuck, with the cord wrapped aroun d his neck. But apparrently they could not do an ECS as the anaesthetist had gone home. he had to be rescuscittated. I had a massive pph. Ds1 was in ICU, I was well out of it and the discharge notes said I had had an easy labour of under 10 hours.

DS1 was black when he was finally out. He now has brain damage.

You fucking bet i screamed.

Thats awful - so sorry to read that
littlepeas · 05/03/2022 19:57

I swore!

Anonymouseposter · 05/03/2022 19:57

I was completely quiet with the first. I think I shouted out once just as the second was being delivered. I kept saying "so sorry" to the midwife. I think I was brought up to be over polite!

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 05/03/2022 19:57

Neither.

I didn’t scream but I wasn’t silent either. It was more of a focused ‘nnnnnnggggggg’ sound.

mbosnz · 05/03/2022 19:58

As I went in to the labour ward, I turned around and tried to walk out again, as a woman shrieked like a banshee, me saying, nup, nup, nup, not gonna do this. . .

Of course I had no choice. Turned out, I wasn't a screamer, I went very quiet, very serious, didn't even swear (much to the consternation of my husband), but did give a very good rendition of a mooing cow.

HemanOrSheRa · 05/03/2022 19:58

I did a lot of mooing and pacing at home. By the time we got to the maternity hospital I wanted to push. It was early hours of Sunday morning and the doors were locked. DP completely panicked banging the doors for security while I was on all fours outside. Security came and he ran in without me 😂.

The midwife thought I wasn't so far into labour as it was my first (and only) but I was 7cm dilated. I had instructions NOT TO PUSH, given the gas and air mask, while she went off for a delivery trolley kit, as soon as she went out I started trying to do little grunty pushes without DP seeing. Then I was really in the zone. Didn't want to be touched, to speak or be spoken to except by the lovely midwife 🙂. DS got a bit stuck so had to be delivered by ventouse in the end. They couldn't get a cannula in so an anesthetist had to put a paediatric cannula in. He was 3 weeks early so there was lots of activity. But I was very calm and quiet. Which surprised everyone but I HATED being pregnant so in my head this was my moment to get the baby out.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 05/03/2022 19:59

@SnowFoxWinterFox, that’s a terrible story. I’m really sorry that you and your son were put through that Flowers

unluckyinlife · 05/03/2022 20:00

I was silent my first Labour. ( I didn't feel any contractions so nobody realised I was fully dialated) Labour took less than 30 mins.

Labour two hurt but I was tired so didn't make a noise until had to wake DH up as baby was being delivered.

Lanascz · 05/03/2022 20:00

Gutteral moos here. I found it was like an extension of my breathing through contractions. I didn't want anything other than a short burst of gas and air, and the pool water.

I was really lucky each time - I enjoyed giving birth. I did, however, have the most fantastic, intuitive, kind and amazing midwives (for two of my births at least). Made the world of difference and gave me the confidence to labour and birth in the way I wanted to (at home, in water).

bringonsummer2022 · 05/03/2022 20:01

Didn't scream, did sort of moo, felt like it helped my body to release the energy of the contractions if that makes sense. More an effort noise than a pain noise. I can't imagine being able to give birth completely silently!
I used to live in an African country and men there don't attend childbirth. It's not acceptable for a woman to make a noise in labour as her husband would be in the next room and it would be distressing for him.

Nat6999 · 05/03/2022 20:01

The air was blue & I'm sure I taught them some words they had never heard, Induced back to back labour & I screamed as well. I think they hurried the epidural up to shut me up. I saw three women be brought in in labour & before I got a bed two of them had given birth & were outside with their partners having a celebratory cigarette & got my hopes up I would be as quick.

unluckyinlife · 05/03/2022 20:02

Oh and when I had gas and air due to pain caused in my rib (baby had injured it internally around 34 weeks) it made me giggle when other women made strange howling noises. I felt so so so guilty I asked to be moved into my own room as I didn't want to make anyone self conscious.

Tiddlywinkly · 05/03/2022 20:02

I was quiet with both. Hypnobirthing. Still bloody hurt, but bearable. Just.

All women and births are different.

EsmeSusanOgg · 05/03/2022 20:03

Neither. I just constantly chattered absolute nonsense.

secretllama · 05/03/2022 20:04

Didn't scream, I mostly went into myself during labour ... until the end when I made some primal animal noises I couldn't recreate if I tried 😆

MushroomQueen · 05/03/2022 20:04

My 1st 2 I had an epidural at 6cm and was happy as a Larry zero pain no noise la de da. I thought 3rd would be the same, unfortunately I was 8cm and contracting fast by time I got to hospital (only 10 mins away) I had epidural as I was starting to get hysterical panicking she'd come out very fast. Epidural took contractions pain away thought this is great same deal as b4, however I did 2cm in 30 mins and started pushing omg I felt everything I stopped pushing on purpose after 1st push (only needed 2 pushes) I shouted and screamed but man a huge relief once head out. I think the speed was the issue and i was panicking

birdglasspen2 · 05/03/2022 20:04

I asked my midwife if I was doing it right as the woman next door was making so much noise! At the pushing stage I think it was better not to scream, concentrate on breathing instead!

Pollyputthekettleon1975 · 05/03/2022 20:04

Screamed and cried with all of them.
I'd be coping fine on gas and air, then have a sudden panic where I completely lost it.
DC3 was the scariest. He was 9lb 6 and back to back. I just couldn't cope with the pain. Ended up with an emergency c/section.
DC4 shot out feet first in the ambulance and I was the calmest I had been out of the four. Barely made a sound as he shot out. Think it was the shock.