To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

[WibbleWobbleWibble]

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

I had an epidural with my first and grunted/strained through but I was generally pretty quiet. I had my waters broken with my second and it all went very, very quickly after that; my contractions were so intense I felt like every bone in my body was being broken. I screamed the place down, mooed, and imagine I looked like I was being exorcised!

@00deed1988

I screamed as I pushed his head out but was fairly quiet for most of the labour.

I am a midwife on a birth centre so no epidurals and honestly it is about 50/50. I tend to find precipitate labours, alot of women panic and lose control and it leads to screaming. Some start in transition. Some have really lulled me into a false sense of security as they are so silent and all of a sudden you see a head. Alot of people moan through the contractions. There is no right or wrong though. I never tell a woman not to scream, maybe during the pushing I advise to direct the energy downwards if they can or just say if they can breathe ect as their throats are going to be so sore afterwards.

That's really interesting to me. My first and only labour wasn't precipitate but it was pretty fast - about 5 hours from first proper contraction to birth - took about 4 hours to get to 4 cm and all the rest crammed into the last hour. I never thought I'd be a screamer but DS got distressed due to the speed of things, I freaked out with that and the pain and the whole unit got treated to my trained-singer-volume screams

@WibbleWobbleWibble

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room). My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries. Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

I'm an anaesthetist, with an interest in obstetrics, so I've probably put in close to 1000 epidurals in labouring women. Although a few are having it done when not in full-blown labour (e.g. before starting an oxytocin infusion), the majority are already in significant pain by the time they call us.

There is a huge range of how people act, from almost totally silent and withdrawn, to writhing, screaming and unable to stay still. I don't judge anyone for how they are acting, or try to guess if one woman is hurting more or managing less well than another. Every woman and every labour is different, my role is to give pain relief if they want it. I do have to be quite clear about "You must stay STILL" while I'm putting the epidural in, but aside from that I just let it all wash over me.

For myself, I wasn't totally silent in either of my labours, made good use of the gas and air, and the occasional moan, but the only time I screamed was the second time, when I hit transition and my epidural suddenly wasn't covering the pain. I had been half asleep and it took me by surprise, but once I then started pushing I just focused on that.

I screamed because it fucking hurt.

I think more people scream than they realise

I was fairly quiet but I remember doing a weird mooing sound just as my son was born.

The same sound happened with my daughter.
It was really weird, like screaming but taking a deep breath at same time.

@Nelliephant1

Silent. There's absolutely no need for all the dramatics!!!

Mum? Is that you?

Jesus.

I was screaming while the surgeon had two hands inside me. I was haemorrhaging and they lost the baby's heart rate. The last thing I remember before passing out was the surgeon saying "oh shit" and dh crying.

You can get to fuck.

I grunted when pushing. Labour was pain like no other but I don't know how you would scream, it comes from a different place.

With my second I screamed the house down. For a few hours. I did Apologise to the midwives for potentially upsetting other mums on the labour ward but they were very nice about it. When it was time to push the senior midwife told me to stop screaming and focus on pushing and that really helped.

I do think it differs with every birth. With my first I dilated very (too) slowly and I didn't feel the need to scream at all.

This time it happened much quicker. Maybe that's why it was more intensive (both bwbies weighed roughly the same so I don't think it's the size). I would have loved some pain relief but I didn't like gas amd air and there was no anaesthetist available to give me an epidural (or pethidine)

Silent. There's absolutely no need for all the dramatics

Oh yes, ladies, even when in extreme pain, should remain SILENT. Happy for them to bear all the children in the world, happy for them to go through risky pregnancy cues but good grief we must draw the line at them making noises when in pain. Because women are just vessels you know, very annoying when the vessel makes a fuss

I went very quiet, almost like when you are sick and you want everyone to fuck off! 😂

Only when the contractions really kicked in did I say anything apparently.

My body had a job to do and brain was engaged to focus and get it done!

Bizarre. I'm loud in general. My husband was looking at me and trying to talk and I was just quiet and zoned out.

The woman in the next room was screaming her tits off though, so I guess everyone is different.

Another growler.

@FluffyBooBoo

I can't vote. I was neither silent nor was I screaming.

How odd to think those are the only two options.

Same here.

First was a c section so not relevant.

Second had epidural that partially worked, but of grunting but that's it.

Third I didn't scream but I did kind of mew/squeal out and kept saying I can't do this. No pain relief though.

So a mix really depending on pain relief and Labour length.

Had four home births and never screamed or made a fuss vocally. They didn't think I was far along until they did an examination and then realised I was in late labour over 8cm dilated.

@humblesims

I mooed too.

Me too 😂😂😂

First 3 I zoned out and was silent. Fourth though was crazy, I screamed! I didn’t have any pain relief with any and all were very straightforward births. The first 3 were all born in their waters though, the fourth was ‘dry birth’ so maybe that’s why? Or me being so much older fourth time round? All I know is I couldn’t do it again!

I didn’t scream, more like a gutteral growl/grunt in between throwing up and putting my husbands back out by dragging him off the chair and across the bed with one hand 😂😂

Two hone births, no screaming, bit of grunting towards the end.

The day after the first, one of the midwives returned and said I was the talk of the office, had handled it like a pro!

I didn’t scream, I had gas and air pretty much strapped to my face and anyone who dared to talk was told to shut up immediately. I was a delight.

Ugh hate it when people are all superior about being silent/having a "natural" birth as it somehow makes them better. Do whatever you need to!

I was loud. I am not normally a loud person. It made me feel very powerful actually to be able to make these noises, that I had never even heard before let alone knew I could make myself.

First baby, I was shouting/crying/whimpering at quite an early stage, probably 1-2cm dilated because it had been going on for 24 hours (and I'd been awake for 36) - I'd used up all my "OMG we're going to have a baby today!!" adrenaline and I just desperately needed to sleep. Home birth midwife was absolutely brilliant and got me able to cope but could see I was tired and suggested I go into hospital for a pethidine rest, however, when I got there they said I was 4cm and so I could still do that, or I could go into the pool room now. I got another boost of adrenaline at this news so I decided to carry on.

That birth I ended up mooing and having the powerful feelings. Then screamed a lot at the end because they made me get out of the pool and it hurt and they kept telling me to push and then suddenly decided I wasn't allowed to push (but I couldn't stop) and then they wanted me to push again so took my gas and air away because they said it was hindering my pushing. 36 hour labour. Had a sore throat for days. (Not to mention everything else!)

Second baby, ten years later, the memory of labour had obviously faded quite a bit because I started out being like oh it will be ages yet, and then feeling confident because I was coping so well but because my waters broke first that time, went into hospital before it was really unbearable and they let me stay in due to the risk of infection, but didn't actually explain this to me so I got into the pool way too early and then wondered why it didn't do anything. Things were starting to get unbearable so I asked for an epidural, which didn't work at all. I screamed a lot with that birth because it was absolutely terrifying knowing that I had no tools available to me to cope with the pain and knowing it would be hours and hours and hours longer and also feeling like everyone (except poor terrified/helpless DH) had left me all alone, but I think what actually happened was everything went from zero to 100 really fast. They said I went from 1cm to 6cm in an hour, and then again I had a "lip" so I had to stop pushing and I didn't know how to stop. But once I was allowed to push it was better. I was terrified of crowning so as soon as I felt that I pushed as much as I could and he was out in two pushes :o I screamed a lot then. That was a 16 hour labour.

Third one I was a bit apprehensive that epidural might not work again so made damn sure I was at the hospital with gas and air, and remembered how the early stages are impossibly intense for me so actually read up a lot more and bothered to practice techniques. This one was better. In the middle of it I got in a pool and actually did the silent thing where I kind of went inside myself, which was kind of cool. I also did a lot of chanting aaaaaaaaaaaaah ooooooooooooooooh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH doing the powerful sounds again. That was good. I liked that bit. But again, towards end they are concerned that I'm only 6cm and REALLY don't want me to push. This time I remembered how not to push and I also remembered that if I put my chin down and make low sounds, down sounds, oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh sounds instead of aaaaaAAAAAAA^^^^^ it helps the pushing somehow rather than all that energy being up high in my body or something. But definitely my chanting turned to screaming/roaring on this one as well, even after I got the gas and air, it kind of takes the edge off, but I think actually it just makes you feel like you're doing something. This was another 30+ hour labour and one that started just as I was going to bed at night so completely exhausting.

Anyway yes. Screamed/roared/mooed/made loud noises all 3 times. But did a bit of silence in third one which made me feel powerful in a different way. No way could I have kept that up all the way through though.

I am not having any more babies so I probably will never know, but I actually think my cervix is a bit weird and instead of 10 settings it only has three. Because I always seem to be in a hell of a lot more pain than most people are before getting anywhere near 4cm, then I stay in this hellscape for hours until suddenly I want to push and they go oh great, you must be fully dilated, wait, no, you're only 6! Don't push! And then I get stuck there for ages until somebody persuades me to move and then it all works.

@cafedesreves

Ugh hate it when people are all superior about being silent/having a "natural" birth as it somehow makes them better. Do whatever you need to!

I don't think being quiet is superior. I was silent because I couldn't cope with the pain. Others screamed because they couldn't cope with the pain. If there are people who didn't scream because they found it easy, they're definitely lucky rather than talented.

I screamed in fear because I had a back to back baby and I felt like I was being stabbed up the arse and the frigging NCT/my DM and DMIL had only talked about it being like a period pain.

I was truly terrified and thought I was going to die. I never had a second thank you very much

I was very quiet as I'd worked out quite quickly that I could count (in my head) my way through a contraction and therefore spot when the pain would start to ebb away - it gave me the feeling of control but did require a bit of concentration.

@DreadPirateRobert

I screamed the place down with my first two. They were beyond agony. I couldn't have even told you my own name during those births. One midwife told me to stop screaming and quiet down and I told her to shut the fuck up, she wasn't going through this, I was. She also tried to take my gas and air because she was trying to tell me I didn't really need it. Reader, she did not manage to wrestle it off me. Nuh uh. No way.

My third baby was born in a pool and it was less painful so it was grunts and quietness. A much better experience.

Interesting you say this. My first was born in water and I didnt need any drugs even though it was such a quick painful birth. I know the latter as I was in agony when on the bed before being wheeled to the pool. Everything calmed when in the water. I'm now pregnant and worried incase I dont get a pool again!