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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:
OddSocksSparklyDocsandDungaree · 05/03/2022 20:32

@Confusedteacher

I barely said a word during labour (Gas and air helped!) But when it got to the pushing I screamed the house down - will never forget the midwife who said “push from your bottom not from your throat!” Angry
@Confusedteacher A random midwife came in to tell me screaming doesn't help, I screamed back it did. She argued back it didn't until I screamed 'Well it's enter a few expletives helping me!' and then I cried and apologised Grin
Mrsmch123 · 05/03/2022 20:33

I didnt scream just complained to my husband that they weren't helping me😂
I asked the midwife if we were nearly done and when she said yes I said you said that ages ago. I had asked 10 mins before.
I kept saying I want the good drugs as I had only had paracetamol and gas and air. In the end I didn't need anything else.
I did yelp when the doctor gave me an episiotomy as she jagged me with the anaesthetic then cut about 2 seconds later... 🥴

angelalansburysteapot · 05/03/2022 20:34

Apparently I moo'd..

I was talking to another lady on the ward the morning after my youngest was born.
She was telling me she was in delivery and the woman next to her sounded like a cow giving birth..we soon established I was said cow Blush

Holidays27 · 05/03/2022 20:35

Scremed the place down if I remember well with both kids as not much pain relief or epidural ; but got a bit drossy with first one with entonox so I think I got a bit quier

MogsBestestFurball · 05/03/2022 20:36

I wouldn't say I consciously screamed, more that I was aware that I was screaming.

Syntocin drip gives really awful prolonged contractions. I was told that I was highly unusual in being able to tolerate it without an epidural.

Lozza70 · 05/03/2022 20:37

No screaming. Apparently I said ‘ouch that smarts’ . DH found that funny as usually I swear like a sailor……

KeepYaHeadUp · 05/03/2022 20:38

Silent. DH still talks about it to this day.

KeepYaHeadUp · 05/03/2022 20:38

@SallyWD

I was really quiet, maybe whimpered a bit. The midwife couldn't believe I was fully dilated. Maybe it's because I'm naturally a reserved person but I didn't feel the urge to scream.
Yes same. I'm not a screamer generally, rarely laugh out loud
lulabellz123 · 05/03/2022 20:39

I would also add that every woman feels labour differently. I do think some womens body's don't feel as much pain as other womens bodies. Some women feel their contractions in their back, some in the front, some in their vagina/cervix. It's all different and just comes down to how your body reacts to it. I felt it in my back and it was excruciating near the end. And the pain of the baby's head coming...I have no words to even describe that. Felt like I had to push a bowling ball through a small key hole. Someone mentioned here earlier that if someone gave me a knife to cut open my own stomach in that moment I would have done it without hesitating. I vividly remember thinking in my head as the baby's head was coming that I would rather die than continue with this pain.

lambsandlion · 05/03/2022 20:40

Noisy with all mine, but had to be told to push when head had crowned. Apparently I lacked a natural urge to push as my body decided it was over!

supersop60 · 05/03/2022 20:41

@Fumnudge

Midwife told me to be quiet. I was only groaning a bit with the effort of pushing. I really hope she's no longer working.
I only screamed when the forceps went in. The midwife told me off. Her name was Mercy, ironically. The rest of the time I mooed.
Oatsamazing · 05/03/2022 20:42

I did the low growl once I was fully dilated, it really helped me to cope with the pain. I'm quite self conscious so I was trying to keep it down.
My midwife told me I was hard as nails, which I like to remind myself of on a regular basis Grin

pradavilla · 05/03/2022 20:43

I heard women screaming the place down when I went in to be induced. It did make me think WTF 😳 is it really that bad.

I was in agony right from the first contraction when they put me in that horrendous drip and it also coincided with a back to back baby. I don't know how they managed to scream I cld barely breathe never mind scream. I was permanently glued to gas and air once they brought it in. I managed to get the word out epidural between contractions 😂
I didn't make it to pushing had an emcs but I did wonder wld I be that lady screaming at that point!

WonderfulYou · 05/03/2022 20:44

I have a very high pain threshold and I can deal with things very well but I screamed and swore at the top of my lungs.

I’m so embarrassed by how I acted and I only ever had 1 child because of it.

I didn’t have any pain relief throughout and the actual pushing part and stitching up afterwards I was fine with, I was happily chatting and smiling.
But the actual labour pains OMG!!

Mama1980 · 05/03/2022 20:44

I didn't really go into labour my first born by crash c section following a car crash. My second though i was in hospital from about 12 weeks trying desperately to get to 24 weeks (I made it by 1 day) I 'felt' my placenta rupture (I didn't know at the time that was s what happening) and my poor brother who was visiting me at the time said I made a sound a sort of moan/scream that he's never heard before or since, then I was deathly silent (unconscious) and stayed that way for the next 3 weeks in ICU. My boy made it and practically the first thing I remember after coming round was a midwife saying to me 'well done you did it"
It wasn't conventional but at the end of the day who the hell cares about noise, poo, blood or swearing?! Healthy babies are all that matters, it's not a competition.

Sometimeswinning · 05/03/2022 20:45

I do think some womens body's don't feel as much pain as other womens bodies.

Yes, you were in far more pain than other women! Grin

lemonyfox · 05/03/2022 20:45

@Nelliephant1

Silent. There's absolutely no need for all the dramatics!!!
Oh be quiet Mrs Fucking Judgeypants
Sharkie23 · 05/03/2022 20:47

I was silent between contractions, just rocking and in the zone, then when contractions came and also when we got to the pushing part- I imagine if I were to audition for a horror that played the possessed by the devil/demon role, and done exactly what I done in my labours, I would of got the part there and then on the spotWink

NannyGythaOgg · 05/03/2022 20:47

During my nurse training I worked 2 months on the labour ward.

I would say about 25 % screamed, about 10% were silent and the rest somewhere in between.

Probably only 2 stick with me over the screaming. (It was over 40 years ago). One was a very young girl (maybe 15) and it was quite distressing.

The other was delivering number 6, with previous 5 in care, was offensive to all the staff, not just general swearing but personal insults an didn't want anything to do with the baby after.

Other screaming/shouting/swearing, was just incidental and though women were encouraged to put their chin on their chest to direct the energy down - hence the mooing/grunting sounds.

I didn't scream having mine, (late 70s) apart from once with number one. I was in transition and the midwife just laughed and said 'these are only mild, there's a lot worse to come'.

She didn't want to to check but I knew enough to insist when she discovered I was indeed ready to push,

EmpressSuiko · 05/03/2022 20:48

I didn’t scream or really speak with any of mine, maybe a few grunts when pushing but both my labours were quite quick as well

bangaverage · 05/03/2022 20:49

I hate the shit about how women who stay silent and/or don't have pain relief are somehow more worthy of respect than those who scream the place down or want all the drugs. Your anatomy and that of your baby are pure luck and shouldn't have any moral value attached.

SpiceRat · 05/03/2022 20:49

Epidural and silent. I just put all my breath into bearing down. When the contractions started after my drip I was almost screaming mind before I begged for the epidural, so if I was to do a natural birth you probably would have heard me from the street. If you can’t be “dramatic” when your pushing a basketball out of your minge while tearing open then when can you?

bangaverage · 05/03/2022 20:50

@Nelliephant1

Silent. There's absolutely no need for all the dramatics!!!
Oh get fucked.
hawkinspawkins · 05/03/2022 20:50

Mooed like a cow

EmpressSuiko · 05/03/2022 20:51

When I was in labour with my first I could hear a lady screaming in the next room, made me so nervous and I felt so sorry for her, I didn’t need any pain medication either and I’ve always been super thankful for that especially as I know some of my friends had very difficult and painful labours, I’ve always considered myself to be lucky!